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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-06-03 05:56 PM


-paper hearts-
freestyle

All I wanted to do was create when I loved you.
You never received them in the mail,
But I cut out little candy hearts from construction paper.
I remember they stuck to my finger,
Sometimes two or three in different colors.
And they were all over the bed, when I tried to make it:
They flew up like a storm, settled like dust.
And a few of them, I pressed the pen too hard,
And they had holes.
And the ink bled.

And even though we now are friends
And even though the past is dead,
Sometimes I still think of those little hearts that never had a chance.
Some were sweet. Some were erotic. But none of them will ever dance
In your head, except the ones I recited to you over the phone
Because I couldn't wait to share the surprise.
And it all fell apart to lies.
You went and slept with another man.

And I have to tell you something:
Your voice on the phone shutting me out
Never took the place of you holding my hand,
Me holding yours.

I can only end this in cliché;
I was going to say "I guess it's par for the course."
So you see, how sometimes you still affect me.

But I guess it's a good thing we never married,
Because it would've ended in divorce.


© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-06-03 07:48 PM


All I wanted to do was create when I loved you.
You never received them in the mail,
---------------------
But I cut out little candy hearts from construction paper.
And they were all over the bed, when I tried to make it:
They flew up like a storm, settled like dust.
---------------
And even though we now are friends
And even though the past is dead,
Sometimes I still think of those little hearts that never had a chance.
Some were sweet. Some were erotic. But none of them will ever dance
In your head, except the ones I recited to you over the phone
Because I couldn't wait to share the surprise.
And it all fell apart to lies.
You went and slept with another man.

And I have to tell you something:
Your voice on the phone shutting me out
Never took the place of you holding my hand,
Me holding yours.

I can only end this in cliché;
I was going to say "I guess it's par for the course."
So you see, how sometimes you still affect me.
----------------------

mike,
(butterfly slippers is crying and smiling)
(and trying to "behave" herself in this relpy)*smile*...
I love this poem, I LOVE when you write like this...
the way you reflect and express your heart in these kinds of poems,
is so tender and so perfect...
(falling into worship reply mode)
(sorry) ...but this one got to me...

"Your voice on the phone shutting me out
Never took the place of you holding my hand,"

what an amazing line that is...
and your spoiling me with this treat of extra posts...Im gonna want it everyday  
later poet-thingey gator lol
butterfly slipper-poetry worshiper-gator


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 06-03-2000).]

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2000-06-03 09:51 PM


you spoke to me with your verse
you're in my head but i can't see you
i am so very alone
you are a fine writer
if she screwed around on you she didn't deserve you
i'm glad you missed the divorce
it sucks

Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
3 posted 2000-06-03 10:21 PM


bsq; Ahh, so sad your paper heart. Written with such detail and so lovely. I especially like your thought, "Never took the place of you holding my hand, Me holding yours."
This says so much about your heart, a sweetheart you have.
marcy

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2000-06-03 10:48 PM


J.Marie,
Hey,  no need to feel sad! This poem came out of me as is, unedited, into my tape recorder (hence the "freestyle") after I finished reading an older collection of poetry about the same breakup (actually, the only breakup I've had yet -- I'm sllllooooow when it comes to finding somebody   ). We talked a little today, seeing as we're friends, but I suddenly remembered all those paper hearts I made for her, then, after the breakup, I threw them all in the trash. This was when I still lived in New Hampshire and she in California, so it was actually a phone breakup -- wow, that's spineless!   But whatever. The way I figure it, if the experience got me to write so much good poetry, it's not a total loss.

Hi, doreen.
Don't worry about; I survived. My problem is I'm only 23 now, and I'm assuming I have feelings and emotions that are way too advanced for my age. Aside from a few girls my age I've met (who have boyfriends, d'oh!), many of them want to party, party, party or do anything but settle down. So I'm just gonna bide my time. Sounds like a plan for now, anyway.

Marcy,
Thanks for the praise. Actually, blatantly emotional lines like that only come out when I'm speaking directly into my tape recorder. When I'm writing things down, there's sentiment sometimes, sure, but it's more veiled. For whatever reason.

Mike

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
Tennessee
5 posted 2000-06-03 10:53 PM


I know so well how you feel when you say you have feelings advanced for your age.  I'll be 23 in August and if one more guy thinks that a dance club is a great date spot, I'll scream!  HeHe

It's an excellent piece.  I read it several times and I love it.

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

6 posted 2000-06-04 12:33 PM


~BSQ,...I've read this a few times now and I'm sure that I'll read it again.  I love the freestyle...and the outpour of your thoughts....made a great read.  Thank you for sharing your paper heart poem. Take care. *Peace.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2000-06-05 03:44 AM


Tenn. Angel,
See, there's the second problem. All the nice girls live in different states!   Glad you enjoyed.

SpitFire,
I have no problem sharing. I'm glad you're so receptive to it. So thanks.  

Mike

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

8 posted 2000-06-05 07:56 AM


I like your style

 "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

9 posted 2000-06-05 10:00 AM


you compose paper hearts, me paper teardrops...sigh...maybe some day we will both compose paper smiles   great writing  
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2000-06-05 11:16 AM


yes, I am with Corazon...paper tears
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

11 posted 2000-06-05 11:21 PM


My paper reply:
Thanks all, for papering my paper. I paper the paper paper. Glad paper enpapered.

Paper,
Mike

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