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Open Poetry #7
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First Poem Challenge: The Chosen One
| Open Poetry #7 |
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First Poem Challenge: The Chosen One |
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Lone Ranger Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 92Salvador , Bahia , Brazil |
I wrote this poem when I was 13, but I must say the it was a really wierd poem hope you guys like it... As I walk through the valley of destiny I realize that faith is nothing but a light Guiding us into the darkness of the night Even if God tell us That it is the key to paradise I will still believe That faith is nothing but a disguise Of the rainbow that turns into light The only certainty that we all have Is that everything in the world has an end And while all of us are fighting trying to offend The great lord is up there telling us what to do When I die I'd like Heaven to be my next home But if for some reason Hell is my fate I'll accept it and confront anything that might come What dreams may come? This is a thing anyone should doubt In the terror of the gloom you'd easily be caught But if in your heart there is only love Then you must be the chosen one to get past Throught the place where only darkness reside There only your courage will serve you, at last When you wish something All of the universe conspire So you can accomplish your desire Because dreams are not an illusion They are simply the eyes of the future Of a kid that never lied Lessons we can't learn saying good bye The parents are the knowledge themselves They are people we should never blame From Pandora thet's where the sins had came Says the proverb "Curiosity killed the cat" As I say this happened in the light Someone opened Pandora's box Turning the day into an immortal night "Only in the dreams , is that man can truly be free It was always thus and always thus will be" Prof. Keating Dead Poets Society |
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| © Copyright 2000 Pietro - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
interesting...No. I mean it in the best way possible. My, what runs through our minds at 13. That was only a few years ago for me, but shhh. Don't tell. I've convinced everyone here I'm older than the hills. ha.ha. that insanity creeps up on me every once in a while.  Joy |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
I would say weird, I too had a thing for heaven and hell and did believe that fate lay in hell. Your poem has alot more clarity than my early poems did and for a poem wrote at the age of 13 it addresses some important issues in its own way. The only certainty that we all have Is that everything in the world has an end And while all of us are fighting trying to offend The great lord is up there telling us what to do When I die I'd like Heaven to be my next home But if for some reason Hell is my fate I'll accept it and confront anything that might come really enjoyed the poem especially the above verse. ------------------------ "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "Libraries gave us power Then work came and made us free What price now for a shallow piece of dignity" Nicky Wire, A design for Life. manic street preachers "Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany Culture, alienation, boredom and despair" |
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Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
You were doing some really heavy thinking at 13. I think this is a pretty good poem...a bit dark, but if I recall, 13 is that age of darkness just before the dawn. |
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Lone Ranger Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 92Salvador , Bahia , Brazil |
Thank you guys for your kind replies... and you know, you guys soeak like 13 was a LONG time ago... well i'm 15( but that's between us...) so it wasn't so long ago... but yet you're right it was a really heavy thinking for that age... thankes for the reply... "Only in the dreams , is that man can truly be free It was always thus and always thus will be" Prof. Keating Dead Poets Society |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Simply amazing - Well done Lone Ranger, I am very glad you started writing. ~netswan |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like it. I'd like to know why you wrote it? Why poetry and not prose? Just curious as to why someone begins to write poetry.  |
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prinzezz15_4eva New Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 7 |
I really liked this...I had some similiar thoughts at 13...maybe not that deep but similiar. This was a really great poem...I look forward to reading more. |
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prinzezz15_4eva New Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 7 |
I really liked this...I had some similiar thoughts at 13...maybe not that deep but similiar. This was a really great poem...I look forward to reading more. |
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Lone Ranger Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 92Salvador , Bahia , Brazil |
Thanks netswan, Poet Dvine & Prinzez oh, and why did I started writting... well it was kindda weird , I was just going to take a bath and suddenly I had the idea of writing poems, strange but true... and prinzez , I really liked your poems and really related to them you are very good "Only in the dreams , is that man can truly be free It was always thus and always thus will be" Prof. Keating Dead Poets Society |
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Lone Ranger Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 92Salvador , Bahia , Brazil |
Thanks netswan, Poet Dvine & Prinzez oh, and why did I started writting... well it was kindda weird , I was just going to take a bath and suddenly I had the idea of writing poems, strange but true... and prinzez , I really liked your poems and really related to them you are very good "Only in the dreams , is that man can truly be free It was always thus and always thus will be" Prof. Keating Dead Poets Society |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This was an intriguing and thought-provoking firt poem Lone Ranger ... "When you wish something All of the universe conspire So you can accomplish your desire Because dreams are not an illusion They are simply the eyes of the future" I loved these lines above particularly ... wonderful thoughts. Well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Lone Ranger Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 92Salvador , Bahia , Brazil |
Thanks for reading Kit... and I agree with you this is a very intriguing poem... Wonder what was going through my head those times... "Only in the dreams , is that man can truly be free It was always thus and always thus will be" Prof. Keating Dead Poets Society |
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Phreakzoid[PsI] New Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 4 |
Very strange poem, deep thoughts! enjoyed reading it! "Be you, and be all you need" Phreakzoid[PsI] |
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Angelical Face New Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 6 |
Very provoking poem here, wow, you had a deep thinking for the age of 13! |
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