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Open Poetry #7
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Rhavin
Junior Member
since 2000-05-27
Posts 28


0 posted 2000-06-02 12:23 PM


The crimson fluid that runs through these veins
Is the same liquid that will be dispelled when I’m slain
As the sword’s blade twists in my flesh
I’ve made to many mistakes now to regret
Tears of contentment flood my eyes
No longer do I have to wish to die
As I lye on the ground in a pool of dripping blood
It mixes into the dirt and becomes a warm mud
Not knowing what hurts worse, I wipe the blood from my face
With my arms outstretched I welcome death’s embrace

The clouds darken, and a storm rumbles in
The story unfolds, but I don’t know where to begin
People walk by, and stare in awe
They think as they pass that glory I sought
But in truth it was more like a love hate connection
With not much more than a solitude redemption
The pain in my soul has been lifted off my chest
No more nights crying as I watch the stars from the crest
Farewell to my life filled with this lingering pain
Nothing more to tell, I’m dead where I lay



© Copyright 2000 Rhavin - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2000-06-02 03:48 PM


Painful, but powerful.   Very good writing.


 Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau"



netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
2 posted 2000-06-03 05:25 AM


Welcome to Passions, Rhavin!

dark - deep poem -- well written

~netswan

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2000-06-03 05:57 AM


This is a perfect description of a situation I went thru about 9 years ago...it was no fun for me and I hope this was in your past.  James
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-06-03 02:40 PM


wow, this is exceptional writing
dark and painful indeed, but the emotions and the ryhme are expressed with poetic precision.
I hope you find your release in your writing
welcome to passions
I look forward to more of your work,
take care, jm

 There are places inside our souls ...
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts ...
that need to be loved this much.
~Janet Marie~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


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