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Passions in Poetry

Pocket Change ...............revised

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Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


0 posted 05-30-2000 08:52 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Pocket Change
~~~

At  the  Donut  shop  before  the  dawn
a  faceless  vagrant
too
is  drawn
He  rifles  through  unwanted  trash
with  a  careless  glance
as  I  go  past
~
A  busy  spot
both  day  and  night
with  drive  through  line
a  constant  sight
Fresh  donuts  for  the  paying  crowd
what's  left ...
attracts  those  not  so  proud
~
Once  inside  the  busy  shop
with  fresh  brewed  coffee
from  simmering  pot
Aroma  savored  before  I  taste
and  not  one  drop
will  go  to  waste
~
I  relax  to  shake  the  morning  chill
as  thunder
and  lightning
break  the  still
Sheets  of  rain  now  drive  him  in
near  dripping  wet
with  a  hapless  grin
~
Can  I  help  you  Sir ?  the  clerks'  hollow  tone
then  time  stood  silent ...
with  a  heartless  moan
This  challenge  answered
through  my  reply
my  nod ...
I'd  catch  the  bill
and  buy
~
He  sat  protracting
every  sip
watching  rain  beat  at  the  door
I  ordered  one  to  go
and  left
enough  to  pay  for  four
~~~




[This message has been edited by Rex Allen McCoy (edited 05-31-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Rex Allen McCoy - All Rights Reserved
Jana Tovey
Member
since 05-30-2000
Posts 257
USA


1 posted 05-30-2000 09:07 PM       View Profile for Jana Tovey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jana Tovey

Your style draws out the story, pulling us into the vagrant's shoes.  This is effective and it makes the reader take a step back and pay attention instead of pretending not to see.
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


2 posted 05-31-2000 06:07 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

thankyou Jana ... kind of you to reply
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


3 posted 05-31-2000 11:49 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

}>{{{{o>
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 06-01-2000 12:00 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

It's hard to believe that you made this one even better, but you did!  

Denise
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


5 posted 06-02-2000 08:33 AM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Hi Rex Allen,

Wonderful read here, this shows the loving kindness in you. Thanks for sharing.

Love, Cerenity

netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


6 posted 06-02-2000 08:37 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

WOW  Rex great one
Well done.  It feels great to help
those in need --

`netswan
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