Pocket Change ...............revised

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Open Poetry #7

Pocket Change ...............revised

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

0 posted 2000-05-30 08:52 PM

Pocket Change
~~~
At  the  Donut  shop  before  the  dawn
a  faceless  vagrant
too
is  drawn
He  rifles  through  unwanted  trash
with  a  careless  glance
as  I  go  past
~
A  busy  spot
both  day  and  night
with  drive  through  line
a  constant  sight
Fresh  donuts  for  the  paying  crowd
what's  left ...
attracts  those  not  so  proud
~
Once  inside  the  busy  shop
with  fresh  brewed  coffee
from  simmering  pot
Aroma  savored  before  I  taste
and  not  one  drop
will  go  to  waste
~
I  relax  to  shake  the  morning  chill
as  thunder
and  lightning
break  the  still
Sheets  of  rain  now  drive  him  in
near  dripping  wet
with  a  hapless  grin
~
Can  I  help  you  Sir ?  the  clerks'  hollow  tone
then  time  stood  silent ...
with  a  heartless  moan
This  challenge  answered
through  my  reply
my  nod ...
I'd  catch  the  bill
and  buy
~
He  sat  protracting
every  sip
watching  rain  beat  at  the  door
I  ordered  one  to  go
and  left
enough  to  pay  for  four
~~~

[This message has been edited by Rex Allen McCoy (edited 05-31-2000).]

Jana Tovey
Member

since 2000-05-30

Posts 257
USA

1 posted 2000-05-30 09:07 PM

Your style draws out the story, pulling us into the vagrant's shoes. This is effective and it makes the reader take a step back and pay attention instead of pretending not to see.

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

2 posted 2000-05-31 06:07 PM

thankyou Jana ... kind of you to reply

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

3 posted 2000-05-31 11:49 PM

}>{{{{o>

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-06-01 12:00 PM

It's hard to believe that you made this one even better, but you did!

Denise

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

5 posted 2000-06-02 08:33 AM

Hi Rex Allen,

Wonderful read here, this shows the loving kindness in you. Thanks for sharing.

Love, Cerenity

netswan
Senior Member

since 2000-03-28

Posts 1369
Washington

6 posted 2000-06-02 08:37 AM

WOW Rex great one
Well done. It feels great to help
those in need --

`netswan

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