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Passions in Poetry

Simple Words

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


0 posted 05-30-2000 04:15 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LngJhnAg

The dawning of their bitter past began without fanfare,
One word flowing a bit too fast that shouldn't have been there.
He meant to say (he thought to say) what was on his mind,
But instead he found there's hell to pay in being so unkind.

She hadn't meant to overreact to what she thought he'd said,
But the heart often hears a set of facts that slips on past the head.
And so those souls, so once entwined, began to slip apart,
Leaving only loneliness behind to chill their bitter hearts.

With troubled hearts they divided and went on their separate ways,
Were they right?  It was undecided, regardless of what they'd pay.
Their parting ways left them both dead; there's no wonder in why that was,
Trust demands that more be said than the simple word, "Because."
© Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


1 posted 05-30-2000 04:18 PM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

oman this kills love it and its so true
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


2 posted 05-30-2000 04:24 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Walt - thanks, man - I really mean it - "kills" is a great compliment - I appreciate that a lot.
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


3 posted 05-30-2000 04:34 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Nice work Sir!!

HUSG
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


4 posted 05-30-2000 04:35 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Very well done!  Just one word can start this kind of downward twist that ends in so much sadness.  Excellent writing!
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


5 posted 05-30-2000 04:39 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I like this because: it's written by you and because it's so true.. nice to read you again...  
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


6 posted 05-30-2000 05:32 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

There ya go, sailor, once again with your sincere, poignant poetry just to remind us that you've got talent to spare.  

This one really works for me. Good words, good flow and an excellent rhyme scheme. Now STAY for a spell, ya hear?????
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


7 posted 05-30-2000 05:37 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

My goodness, what a message...hits ya right here, you know.  Wonderful to read your work, kind sir.  Now, listen to 'deer and stay a spell!  
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


8 posted 05-30-2000 06:31 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Quite a message...I have looked at words as possessing lots of power...they can be words of life or words of death...we need to carefully choose our words..especially where love is involved.    James
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


9 posted 05-30-2000 07:13 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

wow, my sailor friend, you said a mouthful with this...its so sad that we *let* this happen to something special, instead of breaking down the pride and saying...hey wait a minute....
great writing  
Jana Tovey
Member
since 05-30-2000
Posts 257
USA


10 posted 05-30-2000 07:27 PM       View Profile for Jana Tovey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jana Tovey

Beautifully put.  There's so much truth in what you said about the heart hearing what slips on past the head.  Would relationships benefit from if we argued in verse?  Hmmm...
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084


11 posted 05-30-2000 08:25 PM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

It's always a delight to read the verses you write this one seemingly captures the emotion and feelings ~ A powerful piece LongJohn that holds truth to its meaning!
Coco
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


12 posted 05-31-2000 07:17 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

You're a wise and insightful man, my dear friend - Nice to see you posting again..
 
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