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Passions in Poetry

I am here my friend

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flutterbye237
New Member
since 05-26-2000
[First Post] 2
CA


0 posted 05-26-2000 10:36 PM       View Profile for flutterbye237   Email flutterbye237   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for flutterbye237

This is a poem i wrote to my good friend savannah but never gave to her. i usually never share my work but needed someones opion. please tell me what you think.

Hello my good friend
it is me, i am here
i've come to your rescue
to wipe away your tears

I have got you by the hand
so as not to let you fall
i wont leave your side
i'll stick it out through it all

And when you want to cry
it's ok, here's my shoulder
i'll always be here for your tears
even when we get older

And when you think you've got it
everything's in it's place
i'll let go and i'll step back
and let you have your space

But then if perhaps you trip
and you hit the ground hard
i'll rush to help you get up
'cause i wont have gone very far

And when we are old together
like you've always said we'd be
you'll fall off of your rocker
and be lying next to me

For when you fall, i fall
and when you're sad so am i
it feels like were connected
so if you're not smiling, how could i

so just like in the poem Footprints
when your life is high and going swifter
thats when i lifted you off your feet
and carried you, my sister
© Copyright 2000 anelisa - All Rights Reserved
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


1 posted 05-26-2000 10:47 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Welcome to Passions Flutterbye -

What a wonderful poem for your friend.
Give it to her  --   you have the word
"were" in there  change it to "we're"

Then it will be perfect

"For when you fall, i fall
and when you're sad so am i
it feels like we're connected
so if you're not smiling, how could i"

Or we are  depending how you want it to
sound

~netswan
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


2 posted 05-26-2000 11:00 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

my most favorite stanza...

"And when we are old together
like you've always said we'd be
you'll fall off of your rocker
and be lying next to me"

a friend like you would be a blessing... this is warm & wonderfully real

thank you for the read and welcome to passions
lucky
Senior Member
since 01-17-2000
Posts 1648
Idaho


3 posted 05-27-2000 02:35 AM       View Profile for lucky   Email lucky   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lucky

Well my dear,

It sure looks mighty good from this side... I would say I wished I had someone to write me such things... But she's sitting right here beside me and she never stops writing... except for those times in-between when we, hummmmmmmmm.! Well I'm sure you know what that means.

 If I could paint a portrait, of this life in which I've led, and somehow sketch a story, of the visions in my head, I'd start out with a canvas, stretched tightly in a frame, and in the bottom corner, I'd leave room to sign my name. (Michelle A. Bartley)
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


4 posted 05-27-2000 05:32 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

This is a very special poem you have written for your friend and I think you should give it to her to read.
Thanks for posting it for us to see  
and Welcome to Passions
Tracie~


 Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


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