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Open Poetry #7
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Lily121
Junior Member
since 2000-05-23
Posts 24


0 posted 2000-05-26 05:19 PM


*Night Hunter*

Shadow light in
dappled wood
shining eyes blue and clear,
glinting in an angry mood.
Watching, waiting, evermore shall he
stay in frozen stare.

Fur so soft
and eyes so quick
creature stays in distant dark
long white fangs
claws very sharp
creature is a hunter, lurker, of the night.
Watching, waiting, evermore shall
he stay in frozen stare.

Moonlight filter through trembling leaves
hunter stalks his nighttime prey.
Soft footsteps on forest floor
travel evermore
searching for your one heart's desire.
Watching, waiting, evermore shall he
stay in frozen stare.

Slow low song on moonlit bank,
hunter stops and sits down.
You look at me
with frozen stare.
What am I to you, a mortal but,
when you of the animals,
of the lurkers,
are immortal?
Watching, waiting, evermore shall you
stay in frozen stare.

Hunter, lurker, of the dark
you are the mysterious mists of a
moonlit night.
Why do you seek me,
King of the wood,
for a sweet soul to love?
Surely there are more tigresses far more beautiful than I.
So why? Why? Why do you seek my heart to love?



© Copyright 2000 Lily121 - All Rights Reserved
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

1 posted 2000-05-26 10:44 PM


"Shadow light in
dappled wood"

"Soft footsteps on forest floor
travel evermore"

This piece issues forth a quiet mystery with phrases like this...very descriptive!

~ Claire



 Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau



doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2000-05-26 11:08 PM


"Watching, waiting, evermore shall
he stay in frozen stare."

the repetition of these lines and then the haunting lines stuck in the middle that say,

"You look at me
with frozen stare"...

are so very effective... i got a lot out of this piece..  

Lily121
Junior Member
since 2000-05-23
Posts 24

3 posted 2000-05-27 07:09 AM


Wow. Glad you liked it. I really can't believe that I wrote something this mysterious yesterday at school. Thanx for the support.
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
4 posted 2000-05-27 07:27 AM


yes quite haunting and beautiful.
really enjoyed reading it had an enchanted feeling about it.

 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

"Here chewing your tail is joy"

Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Do not listen to a word I say
Just listen to what I can keep silent"

Nicky Wire


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-05-27 07:45 AM


Lily~
Some really haunting phrases
tucked in here.
I'm reminded of 'the night is a lonely hunter' ...
Nicely done.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


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