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Passions in Poetry

Revenge

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hoppy
Member
since 01-27-2000
Posts 272


0 posted 05-26-2000 02:18 PM       View Profile for hoppy   Email hoppy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit hoppy's Home Page   View IP for hoppy

Here's a little poem i came up with last night.  It's sorta weird but i think i like it,  what do you think about it?


Revenge

Dance with the harper
Strum us a cord
we want to see
blood from the sword

Sing with the voice
sqeal out a note
those days have ended
you slit his throat

Time with the shrink
this time you'll kill
it's over your head
you miss it still

Drink with the man
time i revoke
i poisoned your brain
they call it a stroke

I dance with the harper
struming you a cord
i got to see
your blood on my sword

---Written by:Hoppy


5-25-00  


 There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
-- Oscar Levant

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken

© Copyright 2000 Hoppy - All Rights Reserved
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


1 posted 05-26-2000 02:22 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Cute, no seriously I enjoyed this.

The rhyming makes it sound like a twisted children's song and adds an edge to it. Interesting and enjoyable, after that poem I would not trust you with any sharp objects.  



 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

"Here chewing your tail is joy"
  
Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto




[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 05-26-2000).]
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428


2 posted 05-26-2000 09:01 PM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~Eeekkk,...hehe.  Very interesting piece here.  Definately a cool read. Thanks. *Peace.
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


3 posted 05-26-2000 10:42 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

ummm... i think you have a lot of anger inside of you that has come out very succinctly in this piece.

pretty darn vivid, eh? LOL

not quite sleep inducing... i think i'll stay up for a while and look over my shoulder

dp
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


4 posted 05-27-2000 05:41 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

imagery in this fantastic a very interesting piece  
Tracie~


 Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


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