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brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


0 posted 05-25-2000 04:43 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for brian madden

Empty vowels hush me
now silent I submerge
under the cleansing of water.

The words always evade
too sharp or bitter for
my tongue to form.

Exposed to the overcast of sterile monotone
under the imposing hospital walls I cowered,
my skin crushed against the dirt.

My only comfort was remembrance
of myself as the decaying inside
cling only to the certainty of death.

Surfacing pristine and refreshed,
while safely in the confines of my home
my mind still haunts the hollow walls of the ward.

Inside lie the deathbeds of elders
ravaged by disease and time,
this building stands as an exhibit of mortality.

Its deathly stillness envisions premonitions
of my future; as a frail body of carrion,
choked with dirt that no bath can cleanse.




 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

"Here chewing your tail is joy"
  
Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto




[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 05-25-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


1 posted 05-25-2000 04:50 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

I read this several times Brian.  It's almost haunting ... your words still echo in my mind.  Well done!

Best wishes,
/Kit
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


2 posted 05-25-2000 05:12 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Brian - this is very good ---
I do not fear death, itself. Only, in
how I will die.   This poem reminds me
that I hope to heck it will be quick when
it comes.

~netswan
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


3 posted 05-26-2000 01:01 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

amazing imagery in this Brian,
way too deep for me and over my head at the same time...I gotta start reading your poems while the sun is up and my mind is awake  
later poet gator
jm
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


4 posted 05-26-2000 03:10 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Thanks Kit, I am glad I was able to get across the haunting experience of visiting a hospital where people were just clinging on to life by a thread. Actually I wanted out side in the car park while mother was visiting someone, but the place was so haunting I could feel my own mortality.

I agree Netswan, I don't want to be in a bed lingering waiting to die staring at cracks in the wall. Thank you for kind words.

Well I would not suggest reading my poems before bed, if they cause nightmares I am not taking responsibility.Thanks Janet.



 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

"Here chewing your tail is joy"

Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto


TerryW
Senior Member
since 03-23-2000
Posts 787
Louisville, Mississippi, USA


5 posted 05-26-2000 04:21 PM       View Profile for TerryW   Email TerryW   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit TerryW's Home Page   View IP for TerryW

Brian~
     Very powerful imagery, my friend.  It is a haunting piece.  I can see the the picture now.  Very powerful writing!  I love it!


Love Ya~



 ~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428


6 posted 05-26-2000 09:06 PM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~Brian,...what a vivid piece of work here.  Gosh, you've managed to give me goosebumps.  This is so true what you speak of, it's frightening to think of it that way.  Thanks for a thought provoking read...you are good,... damn good .
insect
Senior Member
since 04-22-2000
Posts 1001


7 posted 05-26-2000 09:27 PM       View Profile for insect   Email insect   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for insect

Deathly poem!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


8 posted 05-27-2000 12:23 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

You've captured it, brian---a chilling portrayal and the tone perfectly portrays this most uncomfortable mood...very, very nice work here...
Holly
Member
since 05-12-2000
Posts 127
Arkansas


9 posted 05-27-2000 12:55 AM       View Profile for Holly   Email Holly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Holly's Home Page   View IP for Holly

WHOA! This is a very vivid and great piece of work. I too have goosebumps! I must agree that I don't want to linger either. I can't express exactly how I feel about this...it's a mixture of being in awe of something, excited to find out what's next...yet being terrified of what's next...in complete utter fear. Just that perfect mixture your poem just gave me, not something that happens on a regular basis! YOU DID WELL MY FRIEND!  
-Holly


 I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of.
Michel de Montaigne
ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 01-10-2000
Posts 4176
King of Prussia, PA USA


10 posted 05-27-2000 09:24 AM       View Profile for ellie LeJeune   Email ellie LeJeune   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ellie LeJeune

Brian; You have described a chilling experience here so well. I remember as a 16 yr old candystriper feeling the same way when I was faced with my first experience of Death and pain. Incredibly well written. Ellie

 02


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


11 posted 05-27-2000 11:37 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Hauntingly sad the way life ends sometimes...especially with the cold walls that you have portrayed here in this very vivid look.
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


12 posted 05-28-2000 03:05 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Thanks to all for your wonderful responses.

Terry- glad you enjoyed the poem, thank you for your wonderful reply. It is not the nicest picture
            I have ever painted nor the easiest but I think we learn a lot about ourselves in such extremes.

Spitfire - Sorry for giving you goosebumps. I did not realise that they are contagious.
               I agree it is frightening to think that way, but that is what I felt at the time.              
               I could almost feel my body slowly decaying I tend to be a bit melodramatic.
               Wow, thanks for your reply.

Insect- deathly poem, I was a bit morbid when I was younger.
             Really loved your grim reaper poem. Thanks for your reply.

Serenity - I am glad I captured the mood, I tend to brood on things a bit too much. I did not even go                
into the nursing home/hospital but there was just an deathly atmosphere, everything seemed to                be in decay.  Thanks for your lovely words.

Holly- I too am excited and anxious about dying, I know that I want to die before I am simply living for the sake of it, with nothing to look forward to. Thanks, I am blushing now.

Ellie- Life can be quite fragile and beautiful. I had a near death experience myself once, I almost drown in a pit of soft mud/sand I fell into. It was just up to my neck when my father found me and pulled me out. It makes you appreciate life even more. Thank you.

Martie- I agree that when our bodies start to fail us…it is something I don't want to even think about. I am glad that I have lightened up a bit and learned to enjoy life a bit more, but it always good to stare into the abyss every so often. Thank you.  

Well I am off to appreciate life after unleashing that poem of mortality.


 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

"Here chewing your tail is joy"

Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Do not listen to a word I say
Just listen to what I can keep silent"

Nicky Wire

 
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