»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #7
»
Stale
| Open Poetry #7 |
|
Stale |
|
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
|
Empty vowels hush me < !signature-->now silent I submerge under the cleansing of water. The words always evade too sharp or bitter for my tongue to form. Exposed to the overcast of sterile monotone under the imposing hospital walls I cowered, my skin crushed against the dirt. My only comfort was remembrance of myself as the decaying inside cling only to the certainty of death. Surfacing pristine and refreshed, while safely in the confines of my home my mind still haunts the hollow walls of the ward. Inside lie the deathbeds of elders ravaged by disease and time, this building stands as an exhibit of mortality. Its deathly stillness envisions premonitions of my future; as a frail body of carrion, choked with dirt that no bath can cleanse. ------------------------ "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? " Douglas Adams. "Here chewing your tail is joy" Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 05-25-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I read this several times Brian. It's almost haunting ... your words still echo in my mind. Well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Brian - this is very good --- I do not fear death, itself. Only, in how I will die. This poem reminds me that I hope to heck it will be quick when it comes. ~netswan |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
amazing imagery in this Brian, way too deep for me and over my head at the same time...I gotta start reading your poems while the sun is up and my mind is awake  later poet gator jm |
||
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Thanks Kit, I am glad I was able to get across the haunting experience of visiting a hospital where people were just clinging on to life by a thread. Actually I wanted out side in the car park while mother was visiting someone, but the place was so haunting I could feel my own mortality. I agree Netswan, I don't want to be in a bed lingering waiting to die staring at cracks in the wall. Thank you for kind words. Well I would not suggest reading my poems before bed, if they cause nightmares I am not taking responsibility.Thanks Janet. ------------------------ "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? " Douglas Adams. "Here chewing your tail is joy" Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto |
||
|
TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Brian~ Very powerful imagery, my friend. It is a haunting piece. I can see the the picture now. Very powerful writing! I love it! Love Ya~ ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
||
|
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Brian,...what a vivid piece of work here. Gosh, you've managed to give me goosebumps. This is so true what you speak of, it's frightening to think of it that way. Thanks for a thought provoking read...you are good,... damn good  . |
||
|
insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Deathly poem! |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You've captured it, brian---a chilling portrayal and the tone perfectly portrays this most uncomfortable mood...very, very nice work here... |
||
|
Holly Member
since 2000-05-12
Posts 127Arkansas |
WHOA! This is a very vivid and great piece of work. I too have goosebumps! I must agree that I don't want to linger either. I can't express exactly how I feel about this...it's a mixture of being in awe of something, excited to find out what's next...yet being terrified of what's next...in complete utter fear. Just that perfect mixture your poem just gave me, not something that happens on a regular basis! YOU DID WELL MY FRIEND! -Holly I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of. Michel de Montaigne |
||
|
ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Brian; You have described a chilling experience here so well. I remember as a 16 yr old candystriper feeling the same way when I was faced with my first experience of Death and pain. Incredibly well written. Ellie 02 |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hauntingly sad the way life ends sometimes...especially with the cold walls that you have portrayed here in this very vivid look. |
||
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Thanks to all for your wonderful responses. Terry- glad you enjoyed the poem, thank you for your wonderful reply. It is not the nicest picture I have ever painted nor the easiest but I think we learn a lot about ourselves in such extremes. Spitfire - Sorry for giving you goosebumps. I did not realise that they are contagious. I agree it is frightening to think that way, but that is what I felt at the time. I could almost feel my body slowly decaying I tend to be a bit melodramatic. Wow, thanks for your reply. Insect- deathly poem, I was a bit morbid when I was younger. Really loved your grim reaper poem. Thanks for your reply. Serenity - I am glad I captured the mood, I tend to brood on things a bit too much. I did not even go into the nursing home/hospital but there was just an deathly atmosphere, everything seemed to be in decay. Thanks for your lovely words. Holly- I too am excited and anxious about dying, I know that I want to die before I am simply living for the sake of it, with nothing to look forward to. Thanks, I am blushing now. Ellie- Life can be quite fragile and beautiful. I had a near death experience myself once, I almost drown in a pit of soft mud/sand I fell into. It was just up to my neck when my father found me and pulled me out. It makes you appreciate life even more. Thank you. Martie- I agree that when our bodies start to fail us…it is something I don't want to even think about. I am glad that I have lightened up a bit and learned to enjoy life a bit more, but it always good to stare into the abyss every so often. Thank you. Well I am off to appreciate life after unleashing that poem of mortality. ------------------------ "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? " Douglas Adams. "Here chewing your tail is joy" Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "Do not listen to a word I say Just listen to what I can keep silent" Nicky Wire |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
