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Passions in Poetry

Hiya, ppl! Here's a poem

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Lily121
Junior Member
since 05-23-2000
[First Post] 24


0 posted 05-24-2000 05:25 PM       View Profile for Lily121   Email Lily121   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lily121

Hiya, people. I'm new, but I already have a poem to submit. Here 'tis: (never mind the spelling)

When I sit upon the rocky crags of Isreal,
I watch the sandy dunes and
flapping hawks above.

And if I turn into the rosy glare of the newly fallen sun,
I can lok upon the old crumbling walls of Jerusalem.

Jerusalem, Jerusalem, a holy star among the rest,
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, its makers long gone and dead,
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you are strong and true, still standing to this day on the sandy dunes.

O when the nomads came to the land of Isreal,
they sighted Jericho,
and so they then commenced to attack,
in the setting sun.
They fought the city for many days,
but finally the walls did fall, and Jericho was won.
And so these people spread and conquered,
and become known as Jews,
and they ruled over Isreal like wealthy kings.
The Jews then built a capital
on the sandy dunes,
and Jerusalem was made.
O Jersusalem was strongly built, for one surely knows
that it still stands on the sandy dunes of Isreal.

Jerusalem, Jerusalem, a holy star among the rest,
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, its makers long gone and dead,
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you are strong and true,
still standing to this day on the sandy dunes.

There 'tis.


© Copyright 2000 Lily121 - All Rights Reserved
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


1 posted 05-24-2000 05:28 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Welcome to Passions, Lily121!

Wow, what a great rhymetic poem and
a tribute to Jerusalem and lovely
imagery

~netswan
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


2 posted 05-24-2000 05:30 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Sounds like a ballad to Jerusalem.
Have youb thought about putting your words to music, seriously. great poem.


 ------------------------
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? "
Douglas Adams.

"Here chewing your tail is joy"

Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto


Lily121
Junior Member
since 05-23-2000
Posts 24


3 posted 05-24-2000 05:35 PM       View Profile for Lily121   Email Lily121   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lily121

Wow! Glad you liked it. I mean, I'm just a kid and I can write poetry. Very glad you liked it, thanx for the support!  
Lorraine Nisbet
Member
since 05-18-2000
Posts 221
Jersey City, NJ USA


4 posted 05-24-2000 06:21 PM       View Profile for Lorraine Nisbet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorraine Nisbet


Hiya, Lily121

Here's more support coming your way.  Good imagery, good job.  Hope to hear from you soon.
Welcome!

~Lorraine
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


5 posted 05-24-2000 08:37 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Lily~

Well, young lady .. you've done quite a remarkable piece here.
Enjoyed it very much.

'Just a kid', huh ?
Well, I say .. 'Way to go kiddo !'
        

Welcome to the friendship circle here at
Passion's.
~*Marge*~



 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


6 posted 05-24-2000 08:58 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Lily, welcome to the family! Please check your email for a special welcome.  
 
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