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Passions in Poetry

haunting decision

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Crystal Lynn
Junior Member
since 05-21-2000
Posts 19
Miami, FL. USA


0 posted 05-24-2000 03:11 PM       View Profile for Crystal Lynn   Email Crystal Lynn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Crystal Lynn

ok this is just something i was thinking about...this is only the second poem ive written ever so please be nice  

Once a little girl
now trying to be a woman
finding out it's hard
with all these adult decisions
i've made a mistake
and corrected it with another
even if it meant
i'd never become a mother
i think about you
almost everyday
wishing i was you
in every way
i was given the chance
to become what she wanted me to be
even if it meant
you couldnt be with me
i wonder what you think of me
if that can be possible
wonder if you still love me
even though its kinda impossible
can you forgive me and my childish ways
cause in the future maybe in a couple of days
we'll be together like it was suppose to be
and we will be happy just you wait and see
© Copyright 2000 M. Lawrence - All Rights Reserved
Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 01-31-2000
Posts 640
The Horsehead Nebula


1 posted 05-24-2000 04:45 PM       View Profile for Dawn Eclipse   Email Dawn Eclipse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dawn Eclipse

That was a wonderful poem!  You sure that's only your 2nd? Happiness is a human desire, and you captured it wonderfully

 "Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying."
Harry Anderson, "Night Court"

*Cassandra Roseen*
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


2 posted 05-24-2000 04:57 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

This is a lovely poem - very sad subject.
And, one of those hard lessons in life,
that most come across the stepping stones
of growing up.  

Thank you for writing about this. It is
done very well!

~netswan
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084


3 posted 05-24-2000 05:01 PM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

Crystal, you couldn't have expressed it better than this.  Truly magnificent how the thoughts and emotions are captured here.  It has an ending that grasped me too.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


4 posted 05-24-2000 05:27 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

This poem has a very nice flow and I believe you expressed the thoughts you have been pondering very well.  Take care.   James
jwesley
Member Ascendant
since 04-30-2000
Posts 6413
Texas . . .


5 posted 05-24-2000 06:25 PM       View Profile for jwesley   Email jwesley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jwesley

I believe you expressed yourself very well and beautifully too.  I don't think you need worry about anything nice "nice" concering this piece.

Welcome to Passions.


jwesley
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