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Passions in Poetry

Giving In

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Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


0 posted 05-23-2000 07:01 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Michael

GIVING IN

Please forgive me, Father,
For I know just what I do...
Lying down beside her
Knowing her love isn't true.
But sometimes it seems nothing
Will ever fill this empty space.
Rather than face it alone,
I'll accept my fall from grace.

Shadows of gray creep closer
As the years, they hasten by.
I would I was the child
Staring through this old man's eye.
The endless ache of austerity,
More than I could stand within.
Sincerity, a ball and chain,
My love, a charge of sin.

With sightless eyes watching her
Whisper another, "I love you."
Deception, ah, the only love
I've ever found to be true...
Cuts at  the cold and blackness,
My eyes watering at the touch.
Maybe even for a moment believing
She needs me just as much.

This road I'm on I recognize,
God, I've seen these signs before.
Even knowing there's nothing left to give,
I'll give a little more.
Till once again she's gone and darkness
Silences my brittle brain,
I'll keep her smile for a while
And smile back through the pain.

Raising that chalice to my lips,
Giving the toast to sin.
A sacrificial, useless pawn,
A game I cannot win.
Between sanity and sanctity
Your law's chiseled in stone.
Please forgive me, Father,
I can't take another night alone.

Michael Anderson



 For all behind was dark and drear,
And all before was night and fear.
How many hours of night or day
In those suspended pangs I lay,
I could not tell; I scarcely knew
If this were human breath I drew.

Lord Byron






[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 05-23-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Mistikman
Senior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 729
San Jose, CA, USA


1 posted 05-23-2000 07:29 PM       View Profile for Mistikman   Email Mistikman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mistikman

geeze Michael, I dont know what to say..... This was powerful and moving, and just took my breath away. I know lonliness well, but I doubt I could come close to touching the pain represented in this one.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 05-23-2000 08:39 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Please forgive me, Father,
For I know just what I do;
Lying down beside her,
Knowing her love isn't true.
But sometimes it seems nothing
Will ever fill this empty space.
Rather than face it alone,
I'll accept my fall from grace.
-----------------
My eyes watering at the touch.
Maybe even for a moment believing
She needs me just as much.

This road I'm on I recognize,
God, I've seen these signs before.
Even knowing there's nothing left to give,
I'll give a little more.
Till once again she's gone and darkness
Silences my brittle brain,
I'll keep her smile for a while,
And smile back through the pain.

Raising that chalice to my lips,
Giving the toast to sin.
A sacrificial, useless pawn,
A game I cannot win.
Between sanity and sanctity
Your law's chiseled in stone.
Please forgive me, Father,
I can't take another night alone.
---------------------

M,
i've sat here for 10 minutes trying to find the words to express how this poem effects me.
I have not the words at this time, just tears.(TY, i needed a good cry tonite)*s*
you are brilliant my friend.
love and respect,
jm


 Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme,
They are not measured by the commitment of time.
Some emotions run too deep to be described by words,
Forgiveness and understanding-remain the most beautiful words ever heard.
~Janet Marie~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


3 posted 05-23-2000 09:12 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Michael:

There would be little point in my saying that there is a lot of pain evident in this -- mostly because there is a lot of pain evident in a LOT of your poetry -- but at the risk of sounding presumptuous, I get the feeling that THIS particular emotion goes deeper than your average Tuesday fare ...

Love, and relationships in general, are precarious things -- they involve a great deal of reward, but with that comes a good amount of risk as well.  The nature of individuals is that they have the tendency to be selfish at times -- even the most impeccable of altruists (which most of us are NOT) is guilty of putting himself first in given situations -- thus, any time that two people get together in any manner there are bound to be misunderstandings, woundings, or perhaps (unfortunately) even intentional deceit ...

There is no way, in truth, to look into someone's soul and determine their sincerity without a doubt.  If there were, I am certain that we would all either be happier couples or blissfully and gratefully single -- LOL.  That being said, I must say that I admire the courage you display here in trying again, despite the fact that it is for somewhat selfish reasons (loneliness sucks, don't it?     )

Good luck, my friend.  May she disappoint you by exceeding your somewhat dismal expectations ...  

--Me




 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 05-23-2000 09:36 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Excellent expression of pain, loneliness, and longing, Michael.

Denise
Jeffrey Carter
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5 posted 05-23-2000 09:53 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Micheal,

Sir, I am speechless, simply speechless.

"Gossamer's Fandango" was once my favorite poem by you, but in my opinion this far exceeds it.

So, this is what they call perfect poetry?  

Masterful writing m'friend (as always   )



 All my love,
Jeffrey

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep


netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


6 posted 05-23-2000 10:02 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

What a painful subject Michael.
The feeling of letting your belief
system fall to the wayside as you learn
in life that human touch is needed to live.

This is a masterpiece of pain, and emotion
and an incredibly well written piece.

Enjoy life, Michael. It is okay to be
a bit selfish.

Warmly,
netswan
spiked
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 886
Hammond, La USA


7 posted 05-23-2000 10:48 PM       View Profile for spiked   Email spiked   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for spiked

Hard to truely say anything that can make things better. This is a road traveled alone.
Yet you have many among you for support.
Great poem.
Thanks
Rich
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


8 posted 05-23-2000 11:55 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Between sanity and sanctity
Your law's chiseled in stone.
Please forgive me, Father,
I can't take another night alone.
----------------

you didnt really think I'd be speechless for long did ya *smile*
(you couldnt get that lucky)
this poem is just SO amazing.
I feel you in every line.
In my (biased) opinion this is one of your best.
I hope it was in some way healing for you to write M,
cause me thinks you bled while you wrote it.

     ********
I wish for words of grace
for to brush the tears from thy face.
I ask for words divine ...
so that you might leave this pain behind.
Oh to write the perfect rhyme and verse,
of which to free you from this curse.
If only I knew the way ...
for these words I hope and pray.
If only you would believe,
the words I could conceive.
I promise you'll not always be alone,
and these were NEVER your sins to atone.
If I could write this as for in happiness to end ...
this for you ... I wish my friend.
If this poet I could truly be...
I would write us all love's sweet fate and destiny.
jm
         ******
take care for me M,
please

Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


9 posted 05-24-2000 07:49 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Mistik, I only wish I couldn't...LOL

Kess, loneliness does suck to a degree - but then at least loneliness never lies...  given the alternative, I may just choose to die lonely.  Who knows, maybe one day I will meet someone I can liken to those "dismal" expectations...LOL honesty, sincerity, trust - you wouldn't think that was so much to ask for, would ya?  

Denise, I'm glad you enjoyed this one.

Jeffrey, well consider all the effort I put into the Fandango - I take that as quite a compliment...  TY  Indeed, there was a lot of emotion balled up in this one.

netswan, yeah - was really getting into a sensitive area with this one.  They say virtue is its own reward - but at what price?...  and I am learning to enjoy life as it comes, which all in all is a big step in itself for me... ty  

Rich, I never truly am alone here, I know - but as you say - this indeed, is a road traveled alone, nonetheless...

Janet, I truly don't think "all" of us were meant to experience love.  If that were the case, love wouldn't be special now owuld it?...LOL  even so, I see the sincerity and feeling in your reply.. and I know I am never alone - albeit I will always be alone.  I hope that made sense...  Ty for being such a wonderful friend.


and thank you each and all for the gracious comments...


Michael

Jeffrey Carter
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10 posted 05-31-2000 12:58 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Micheal,

This is so excellently written I just couldn't let it slip away into oblivion  

I certainly hope you submitted this to the main site.

as always m'friend, take care

 All my love,
Jeffrey

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep


Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


11 posted 05-31-2000 06:22 AM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

This stings the heart like that of a winter wind cutting to the bone and chills even deeper.  Which is worse to not feel true love or to be alone....I'm not sure the answer to that but both bring pain to the receiver and the deceiver, both empty and without soul.  **hugs** sweet Michael.
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


12 posted 05-31-2000 06:43 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

You write with such passion and honesty Michael ... I think you touch a part of everyone's soul, be it hidden and unbeknownst to them or glaringly on the surface.  Even those who find "true love" have moments of loneliness and disillusionment, for never is there a perfect world, though we try ... heaven help us ... we do try. Incredibly wonderful writing Micheal ... straight to the heart!

Best wishes,
/Kit
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


13 posted 05-31-2000 08:10 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

WOW...

Been awhile since I had a Michael dose.

Thank goodness I popped by...



I can say one thing with confidence:

You're never alone even when you think you truly are - hey and if that belief doesn't work you can always talk to yourself...at least you know no one will argue with what you have to say...LOL!

Excellent work my friend - stay strong.

K
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 04-06-2000
Posts 10553


14 posted 05-31-2000 09:20 AM       View Profile for Irish Rose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irish Rose

He was tempted as we are...who better to understand.
other than offering that, I'm totally speechless with this one.....it was breathtaking

 Kathleen
indy31_99@yahoo.com

Colin
Senior Member
since 06-05-99
Posts 612
Callington, Cornwall, England


15 posted 05-31-2000 09:32 AM       View Profile for Colin   Email Colin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Colin

Wow, powerful work indeed Michael! All I can say is don't give up because you never know what's around the corner till you get there  
 
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