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Passions in Poetry

These eyes. in response to Isis' challenge.

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brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


0 posted 05-20-2000 05:52 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for brian madden

The challenge is to write a poem about eyesight, or not 'seeing' the beauty around you that you often take for granted.  
--------------------------------------
These eyes
What good are they when they only seek the ugly
marrow of a lifeless lie? I chew my bone
behind the monotone, a shade of grey
she slowly bleaches black.
A grizzled taste in mouth I'll speak
my toxin tongue spits my foul obscenities
in all directions. My victims, aimless shadows
closing in I can not see faces,
only sense the walls tightening
and the noise with out apparent sources rising.
This torture of my black box. I hate you GOD,
Call him merciful, honour his love
I deem him whore. I have been the bright little one
cleansed and repentant,
no naughty things slipped from me,
I embraced the beauties then one day I woke…
And I could no longer see.
    

© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


1 posted 05-20-2000 06:07 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Stark and powerful...sounds good out loud...and great ending!  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 05-20-2000 09:02 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

you must have quite a view out your window where you live.
WOW where do you come up with this stuff.
the imagery is "in your face" as one reads this.
you challenge the challenge LOL
later poetic professor, jm


 Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme,
They are not measured by the commitment of time.
Some emotions run too deep to be described by words,
Forgiveness and understanding-remain the most beautiful words ever heard.
~Janet Marie~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


3 posted 05-21-2000 04:25 AM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Thanks Martie, I may try reading it out aloud when my parents are not around, I don't want to scare them. lol

Janet, well I have a really nice view of trees and and a large field, being surrounded by nature you would think I would be writing more about the wonders of the world. Going blind is one of my biggest fears, I don't think I would be able to cope, I guess that is where the poem came from.

=========================================
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

Douglas Adams


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


4 posted 05-21-2000 05:41 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

I must agree with Martie...very powerful and striking when read aloud.

~ Claire

 Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 02-16-2000
Posts 2712
Escondido-California


5 posted 05-22-2000 08:50 AM       View Profile for Cerenity   Email Cerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerenity

Hi Brian,

Good Morning,,

You are a POET my friend and I read it out loud WOW, WOW again you have a way with words. Awesome!!!!

Love,  Cerenity
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


6 posted 05-22-2000 04:40 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Quite well done, challenge well met!
 
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