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Open Poetry #7
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Not so cut and clean
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Not so cut and clean |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Not so cut and clean She stood there naked in the light. Within the foolish of the night. In alabaster shards of moon. If not a dream I would have swoon. Seurated dots in points surround And cherry blossoms lay the ground. Renoir colors flaring dare, Almost more then I could bare. Illusions sharper then a dream, Beat my heart to near extreme. And tears flowed down in crystal wet, Including those that rolled in sweat. Reaching out in touching sigh, Brought about a rueful cry. For in that touch, the bubble broke And awesomes scene, went up in smoke. An ecstasy and agony dream But it did not end so cut and clean. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She stood there naked in the light. Within the foolish of the night. In alabaster shards of moon. If not a dream I would have swoon. Seurated dots in points surround And cherry blossoms lay the ground. Renoir colors flaring dare, Almost more then I could bare. Illusions sharper then a dream, Beat my heart to near extreme. And tears flowed down in crystal wet, Including those that rolled in sweat. ---------------- WOW... I LOVE THIS POEM!! this is the reason I read and love poetry... PERFECTION SY... this is awesome...the words, the imagery, the rhyme, the emotions. it is BRILLIANT! once again I will say... I LOVE WHEN YOU WRITE LIKE THIS!!*smile* later-cool poet gator. jm |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I hate it when the bubble breaks like that! Great poem, Sy! Denise |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Wow, quite a poem lavishly illustrated. James |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Dear Sy A dream enrapturing this much Is quite decieving you will find A vision that's not meant to touch Will burst your bubble every time Well written, this intriguing dream of yours Love ya Liz |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
This reminds me of scenes from the movie: "What Dreams May Come." Fantastic imagery. Corinne |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Janet, Your a real lover. *L* Denise, Me too. *L* Liz, But I love blowing bubbles. Love Sy Corinne, You too are a real lover. Thank you *L* James, Thanks for the lavish. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Seymour~ Dream your bubbles while you may all too quickly it may just be that someone chasing your bubbles just may capture thee. Fascinating read, as per the usual. You sure can capture a moment. Love you~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I have only word for this one seymour, CAPTIVATING !!! Regards, sudhir Life is like a painting, That in an art gallery is left hanging, Though many come just to look at it, A very few actually come to enjoy it. |
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LadySofia Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 238FL., USA |
Great analogy and metaphor usage; you paint a lavish scene with your words. But if it did not end so cut and clean, how then did it end? Sudhir said the right word: captivating! ^_^ LadySofia That time of year thou mayst in me behold, When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang, Upon those boughs which shake against the cold, Bare ruined choirs where late the sweet birds sang. In me thou see'st the twilight of such day, As after sunset fadeth in the west, Which by-and-by black night doth take away, Death's second self that seals up all in rest. In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire, That on the ashes of his youth doth lie, As the deathbed whereon it must expire, Consumed with that which it was nourished by. This thou perciev'st, which makes thy love more strong, To love that well which thou must leave ere long. William Shakespeare |
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