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Passions in Poetry

Not so cut and clean

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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


0 posted 05-19-2000 03:02 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Seymour Tabin

      Not so cut and clean

She stood there naked in the light.
Within the foolish of the night.
In alabaster shards of moon.
If not a dream I would have swoon.

Seurated dots in points surround
And cherry blossoms lay the ground.
Renoir colors flaring dare,
Almost more then I could bare.

Illusions sharper then a dream,
Beat my heart to near extreme.
And tears flowed down in crystal wet,
Including those that rolled in sweat.

Reaching out in touching sigh,
Brought about a rueful cry.
For in that touch, the bubble broke
And awesomes scene, went up in smoke.

An ecstasy and agony dream
But it did not end so cut and clean.

© Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 05-19-2000 04:02 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

She stood there naked in the light.
Within the foolish of the night.
In alabaster shards of moon.
If not a dream I would have swoon.

Seurated dots in points surround
And cherry blossoms lay the ground.
Renoir colors flaring dare,
Almost more then I could bare.

Illusions sharper then a dream,
Beat my heart to near extreme.
And tears flowed down in crystal wet,
Including those that rolled in sweat.

----------------

WOW...
I LOVE THIS POEM!!
this is the reason I read and love poetry...
PERFECTION SY...
this is awesome...the words, the imagery, the rhyme, the emotions.
it is BRILLIANT!
once again I will say...
I LOVE WHEN YOU WRITE LIKE THIS!!*smile*
later-cool poet gator.
jm
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 05-19-2000 04:15 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I hate it when the bubble breaks like that! Great poem, Sy!

Denise
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


3 posted 05-19-2000 04:40 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Wow, quite a poem lavishly illustrated.  James
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


4 posted 05-19-2000 06:08 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Dear Sy
A dream enrapturing this much
Is quite decieving you will find
A vision that's not meant to touch
Will burst your bubble every time

Well written, this intriguing
dream of yours
Love ya
Liz
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


5 posted 05-19-2000 06:13 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

This reminds me of scenes from the movie: "What Dreams May Come."

Fantastic imagery.

Corinne
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


6 posted 05-19-2000 09:00 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Janet, Your a real lover. *L*

Denise, Me too. *L*

Liz, But I love blowing bubbles. Love Sy

Corinne, You too are a real lover. Thank you *L*

James, Thanks for the lavish.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


7 posted 05-20-2000 06:33 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Seymour~

Dream your bubbles
while you may
all too quickly
it may just be
that someone
chasing your bubbles
just may capture thee.

Fascinating read, as per the usual.
You sure can capture a moment.
Love you~
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


8 posted 05-20-2000 07:15 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

I have only word for this one seymour,

CAPTIVATING !!!

Regards, sudhir

 Life is like a painting,
That in an art gallery is left hanging,
Though many come just to look at it,
A very few actually come to enjoy it.
LadySofia
Member
since 05-16-2000
Posts 240
FL., USA


9 posted 05-20-2000 09:45 AM       View Profile for LadySofia   Email LadySofia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit LadySofia's Home Page   View IP for LadySofia

Great analogy and metaphor usage; you paint a lavish scene with your words. But if it did not end so cut and clean, how then did it end? Sudhir said the right word: captivating!

^_^ LadySofia


 That time of year thou mayst in me behold, When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang, Upon those boughs which shake against the cold, Bare ruined choirs where late the sweet birds sang. In me thou see'st the twilight of such day, As after sunset fadeth in the west, Which by-and-by black night doth take away, Death's second self that seals up all in rest. In me thou see'st the glowing of such fire, That on the ashes of his youth doth lie, As the deathbed whereon it must expire, Consumed with that which it was nourished by. This thou perciev'st, which makes thy love more strong, To love that well which thou must leave ere long.
William Shakespeare


 
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