This Way To The Amazing Egress

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Open Poetry #7

This Way To The Amazing Egress

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2000-05-18 03:17 PM

Loyalty, living lustrous lives
Originate ordeals, otherwise orthodox.
When we wonder why
either ever escaped either
radiance ravishes reckless realism.

Throughout the thrill
heaven's hated heretics have
an asocial assembly
numerous, nameless, naive, narcissus.

Lacking loves legalities
or other origins
vibrant violations void
every enchanting egress.

There is something inside me
and I know it's good,
but understanding is misunderstood.

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

1 posted 2000-05-18 03:36 PM

Fantastic images great use of alliteration.
I love this one.

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

2 posted 2000-05-19 12:35 PM

Thanks I'm glad that you enjoyed. Alliteration is becoming one of my favorite styles.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

3 posted 2000-05-19 07:14 PM

I like! Takes a lot of work to base a poem around one element like this.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-05-20 12:33 PM

excellent poem of Alliteration
but over and above that this is a very cool poem with cool imagery and vision
great writing.
later, jm

It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and you lose it all ...
And it's unnerving
How one move just puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell ...
I'm not sayin
That there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
And I'm not sayin
We ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let you get away from me.
~MB20~Leave

forne_marin
Member

since 2004-04-13

Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina

5 posted 2004-04-16 12:08 PM

Personally, I don't care for most Acrostics, because they focus too much on that first letter and not enough on the content of the poem--even yours, old buddy. HOWEVER, this one is definately the exception to the rule. This one can actually stand alone without the acrostic. I enjoyed it.

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