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Passions in Poetry

~ Sleeping Beauty's Angel ~

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poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


0 posted 05-17-2000 01:42 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

~  Sleeping Beauty's Angel  ~


Her long hair spilling all around her
eyes closed, deepest sleep...
She breathes in softly, fragrant whispers
promises he'll keep...

She lays there in the moonlight
shadows dancing on her face...
The trees outside sway, lulling her
and sadness has no place.

She dreams of laughter, ringing sweet
she smiles in her sleep...
She sees his eyes so full of passion
eyes that never weep.

She holds her pillow tight to her
while dreaming of his touch...
Never has she wanted someone
in her life this much...

Laying there in moonlight
dreaming of this man so true...
All the while he's sitting there
beside her, in full view.

He watches as she sleeps there
and he strokes her silken hair...
He breathes her in and longs to
kiss her, though he doesn't dare.

She is his sleeping beauty
He's her angel - steadfast, strong
He'll stay beside her through the night
It's there, he does belong.

He'll stay here, watch and keep her
safe from all of darkest night...
She'll never know that he was there
he'll slip out with dawn's light...

Her long hair spilling all around them
eyes closed, in his care...
While dreaming of him all the while,
his presence unaware...

She prayed before she fell asleep
to have an angel by her side...
And asked the Lord her soul to keep
Alas, in sleep, she died.
© Copyright 2000 Gennifer David - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
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since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


1 posted 05-17-2000 01:45 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

kissy kissy yuh mush i say...nonono i like this yuh the end so sad
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 05-17-2000 01:50 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Lovely poem...sigh..sure wish it had a happy ending though..but then, life doesn't so why should poetry?  Anyway, you've really written some great poems lately, Gen. It's good to see that.    
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
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Lansing, MI USA


3 posted 05-17-2000 02:01 AM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Gen, this is wonderful. . . but I want a HAPPY ending. . . deVine. . . life can have happy endings too. . . if we believe. . .

Great poem Gen. . .

---------------------------------------------------------



 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


4 posted 05-17-2000 02:08 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

I don't know...this one was weird for me.  When I started writing, I wanted the reader to see her sleeping, and then see him there beside her, watching over her.  Actually, as I was typing it here, I added the last couple of stanzas, and decided out of the blue, to have her die.  I know...morbid me.  But I felt a kind of peace, her dying so happily in her sleep, with him there beside her.  She did pray for an angel after all....and he was there for her, like she asked.  I dunno...I may rewrite the whole thing.  I'm not real happy with the flow of it.  Just seemed like it didn't flow well.....*sigh*   (sticking tongue out in dislike!)
Irie
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since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State


5 posted 05-17-2000 02:24 AM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

pFF.....
This is so beautiful. I found my self thinking, "Oh how I wish this were me"...Then
I read the ending. So sad....I'm glad it wasn't me. But if I were to die, I would hope that I would be this lucky.
Does any of this make sense? LOL
Anyway, wonderful poem!

~Sheri
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


6 posted 05-17-2000 01:29 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Oh Gen, this is so lovely and the ending so very sad. Nicely written  
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


7 posted 05-17-2000 01:31 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

DONT STICK YOUR TOUNGUE OUT AT ME UNLESS YOU INTEND TO USE IT!  LOL

Gen this poem is gorgeous dont rewrite it too much...
sure a happy ening is always nice BUT this one was lovely as you described it.
another on that needs to be put in my coloring book  
great writing here.
later gen-gator.
jm

ps..now about that toungue...
bring it and come over to adult and play with me and Danny...
he's driving over in his TONKA to pick us up!!LOL...you'll see when ya get there.
(hehe)
Danny Holloway
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since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


8 posted 05-17-2000 04:45 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

pFF, enjoyed your peom, but hate sad endings.
       "safe from all darkest night"
that angel should take better care i think.
~~nice writing~~
JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


9 posted 05-17-2000 04:55 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Now why did you have to go and die on that angel before he could get his last kiss?  If only he could have arrived in your life a little sooner.   James
HelmutB
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since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


10 posted 05-17-2000 06:58 PM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

My Lady you remember me
The poem is beautiful, sad and well done by thee
The end I have to say so sad
Made me almost somewhat mad
But knowing that this death must have been
The nicest one I ever seen
I forgive, what else can I do
As to take off my hat and "thank you" too.
Loved this one
You're special My Lady

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.  



[This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 05-17-2000).]
WhiteNite
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since 04-09-2000
Posts 249
Montgomery, AL


11 posted 05-17-2000 09:01 PM       View Profile for WhiteNite   Email WhiteNite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhiteNite's Home Page   View IP for WhiteNite

I have to agree with Jan, don't change it much.  I like it the way it is.  Her dying was unexpected, but I wouldn't call it a bad ending.  Good read.  =)

 "Don't let your character get camoflaged with your environment.
Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors." --Rachel Joy Scott


Parker
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since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


12 posted 05-17-2000 09:38 PM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

Gen, very nice, and the death was a sad touch, but if you do any rewrite, do like James suggested, maybe a last kiss. I like last kisses before death, it doen't seem so alone.......

Now also about that tongue, Janet seems interested, just put me down for one video.
Just for educational purposes, ya know.

Jeffrey Carter
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since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


13 posted 05-17-2000 11:30 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Gen,
Beautifully crafted....Like a "realistic" fairy tale. I think the ending would be perfect if you add one last kiss as well

All my love,
Jeffrey

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 04-28-2000
Posts 820
on the roof again


14 posted 05-18-2000 01:47 AM       View Profile for Ethan Halo   Email Ethan Halo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ethan Halo's Home Page   View IP for Ethan Halo

Dear Gen,
well i liked it, but we all know how much of depressed fellow i am.... =) it was good. i was thinking chipper and ceery, and it's hard for me to read chipper and cheery because i can't really relate, but then...

i liked the prayer part.  he was right there. he could've been a hero, she musta had a premonition, he'll never know, he'll always kick himself, she'll never know....

in case you can't tell, i liked the open ending. =) it leaves me hangin, but i can speculate. i dig it. good stuff, as always.


 We all got somethin' we need to atone for.

RSEvans
Senior Member
since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


15 posted 05-19-2000 11:22 AM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

and I'm the one with a dark side?  Loved this.  At last some death in all that mush you've been oozing lately, not that I haven't loved it...just I know most of what you are capable of.  Wisdom.
Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


16 posted 05-19-2000 11:30 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Ms. Poet Femme, I think it is beautiful just the way it is. Wonderful writing...

~ Claire

 Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

 
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