She called me up one hot day in July
Could you come on over and fix my fan
I said I'll get my tools and be right by
Jumped her fence to find her lying naked for a tan
Startled I screamed, the dog, get the dog, she's gonna attack
Shaking and nervous, I ran in the house
Calling me out she says would you put some lotion on my back
Confused and afraid I snuck away like a mouse
Following me naked she says the fan is on the bed
As I entered the room, there was a growl and a hiss
Then a lightening speed cat was scratching at my head
Awe! Don't worry Fluffy just wants a kiss
But this fluff ball of terror was attached to my face
Almost unconscious and my mouth full of hair
She claimed her little Fluffy loves to embrace
As she ripped across my face, I was gasping for air
A switch-blade of fur in a endless nightmare
My kitty, she likes you, let her be your friend
This affection must stop, I'm a friend I swear!
Leaping away, last thing I saw was her pink butt end!
So I coughed up a hairball and started to work
Suddenly it hit me, she was naked in the room
She sat down beside me with an inviting smirk
But where was her pussy that terror of doom
Her silk blonde hair shinning, pure as a pearl
She tore open my shirt and ripped off my pants
If I play my cards right, I could be kissing this girl!
No lotion for me! Maybe we could date if you give me a chance?
Pulled up my pants, threw on my shirt
Now your fan is blowing
Better put on a skirt
But my shirt is torn are you any good at sewing?
Cuz it's getting late
And I do need a date
But meeting your pussy was a friendship of hell
She's an assassin without mercy couldn't you tell
I'd like to get to know you from your head to your toes
But we'll have to start by putting on your clothes