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Passions in Poetry

Death of your Champion

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First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


0 posted 05-13-2000 11:28 PM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for First__Knight

Death of your Champion
~First Knight~

My heart cries in silence
with an empty hollow sound.
Death, blood and violence
here upon the ground.

This knight has fought this battle,
and did the best I could.
Battered armor, worn out saddle
dying before I should.

I know that I'm alive
but the end is very near
This I can derive
the pain is very clear.

Beaten down and now I'm fading,
Yes my life you can take.
But nothing is worth the trading
of the love that we did make.

Death I will surely see,
now my love for you defiled.
As strong as I could be,
you could have killed me when you smiled.

Take my life now quickly,
Don't leave me in this pain.
Pale white now and sickly,
and there's nothing left to gain.




 A man does not love a woman because she is beautiful...But she is beautiful because he loves her.






[This message has been edited by First__Knight (edited 05-13-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 First__Knight - All Rights Reserved
WolfsMate
Member
since 01-14-2000
Posts 122
New York


1 posted 05-13-2000 11:31 PM       View Profile for WolfsMate   Email WolfsMate   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for WolfsMate

A heart breaking verse. Your emotions a strongly felt in this.

 "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near"
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


2 posted 05-14-2000 01:00 AM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

The champion is wounded by the one that he loves. . . the unkindest cut of all. . .

The hurt and pain are very evident here First Knight. . .

Excellent poem. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Tom26
Junior Member
since 05-07-2000
Posts 30


3 posted 05-14-2000 03:15 AM       View Profile for Tom26   Email Tom26   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tom26

The champion was defeated, not by an enemy, but by the one he loved. This poem is very powerful and true.

               -Tom

 Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching- Anonymus
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


4 posted 05-14-2000 08:35 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

What a poem, what strength of emotion exhibited, what sadness it brings out. There are many battles in life, and we become stronger with each battle fought. Whether we win or lose we are still champions in someones eyes.  
Kit McCallum
Administrator
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since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


5 posted 05-14-2000 08:42 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

This is an incredible poem full of heartfelt emotions FirstKnight ... the comments from those above are insightful, and I can only echo their sentiments ... nicely done!

Best wishes for the next battle,
/Kit
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


6 posted 05-14-2000 08:43 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

First_Knight,
Well I guess the second knight will win again, enjoyed the poem.
First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


7 posted 05-16-2000 01:38 AM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

Thank you all very much
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


8 posted 05-16-2000 01:40 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

this is befitting of my mood here lately im glad i read it yuh its very good
Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


9 posted 05-16-2000 02:29 AM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

have to echo the others, finely written, full of sadness and it is clear who the conqueror is...good work  
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


10 posted 05-16-2000 11:14 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

I feel like I am strong right now but if the woman that I have softened my heart for rejects me it would be very painful for me.   James
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


11 posted 05-16-2000 11:27 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Poignant and sad, but I know from your other words that you have hope, too.

Corinne
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


12 posted 05-16-2000 11:36 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Yes, I know that pain. Life does go on though, it just takes time. This is very sad and very well written, David.

Denise
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


13 posted 05-16-2000 11:46 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

David...this poem saddens me in its content. We are only defeated if we allow ourselves to be...I've learned that lesson the hard way. There is always hope my friend and I hope you find exactly what you are looking for.
Hugs
Ruth
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