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Open Poetry #7
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Seeking Rhyme and Reason
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Seeking Rhyme and Reason |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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Unbidden, yet you come to pierce my heart Reminding me of all that has been lost In darkest night or at the new dawn’s start You’re lurking close exacting loving’s cost. You ride the breeze of each crisp autumn day And hide within the chill of wintertime You bring again ice-laden clouds of gray Concealing all life’s harmony and rhyme. The hopefulness of spring demands you leave You fiercely choke each robin’s lovely trill You drown me in your mighty waves that heave And pulverize my soul with sorrow’s fill. Will changing seasons ever bring relief Unfettered by these chains of sorest grief? Denise |
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| © Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Denise, I tried to pick my favorite line, but couldn't choose just one. Thanks for sharing this piece. All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Denise,...this is beautifully written. I enjoyed the read. Bitterly cold yet beautiful. *Thanks for sharing. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Denise you amaze me! You come up with something sad and wonderfully written when you don't feel like this? How do ya do it? Emotions so well expressed!! Always a pleasure to read your work. Glad your muse came back  Hope it stays around a while!ps HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you Jeffrey, SpitFire and Rebecca for reading and commenting. I wrote this after pondering the grieving process, remembering how I felt at the height of it. It comes and goes at times but is no where near as severe as before. I tried to capture the utter despair that I felt after losing loved ones, the intense indescribable pain that I experienced. Thanks again for your lovely comments!  Denise |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Powerful poem here Denise, and wonderfully written. You are very talented and I am happy your muse is returning. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful and powerful Denise ... you've captured your feelings well in this piece ... I enjoyed the seasonal change theme a great deal. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Gloria and Kit for reading and for your lovely comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Denise |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Denise, Well written beautiful poem. *L* |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"Will changing seasons ever bring relief..unfettered by these chains of sorest grief?" I have ask myself this question many times before but not as eloquently as you...James |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Denise~ A very well-written piece that shows your capabilities of telling it like it is. I think we all can understand and perhaps relate to these events in our lives. Thank you for the thoughtfulness of this render. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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lorilockheart Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206Alabama |
"Reminding me of all that has been lost In darkest night or at the new dawn’s start You’re lurking close exacting loving’s cost." A very touching expression of how that loss, and grief never really leaves you. It is always there - lurking. And it takes a little part of you with it. Very true, beautiful, and well-thought. Lori ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance. song by LeeAnn Womack ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Denise Such lines so powerful yet sad I don't have much time, it makes me sad I loved your poem this much I can say Now I have to run and be on my way But know I will return some day The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
geesh denise seeing the title i thought the poem was gonna be about me or somethin but it was so good yuh it was sad and lovely |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is sadly beautiful Denise! enjoyed What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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di Morte New Member
since 2000-05-13
Posts 8 |
excellent work, d and smoooooooooooooches 2 u 2  ))) |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
"these chains of sorest grief, reminding me of all that has been lost" sends a chill to the innermost soul. excellent writing! dh A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
darker than usual for you, Denise...but lovely nonetheless. Here's hoping seasons change brings some warmth into your life once again. Rob |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Chilling, Denise. Corinne |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you all for reading and commenting! Sy- A well written from you brings me a smile! Thank you! James- Thanks for the 'eloquently'! Marge- Thanks Marge, yes, we all can or will one day relate to grief, some more than others. Lori- Yes, it does take a piece of us. Thanks! Helmut- Now don't be gone too long this time! Thanks! Walt- See? There is a method to my madness, I knew the title would pull you in!  Thanks!D.A.- Thanks so much! di Morte- Thanks! Smoooooooches right back 2 U ! Danny- Yes, grief goes right to our core. Thanks! Rob- The skies are beginning to clear, thank you! Corinne- Thanks so much! Denise |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Denise~ Wow, dear! Very good. I like the mood that comes from these lines: You ride the breeze of each crisp autumn day And hide within the chill of wintertime You bring again ice-laden clouds of gray Concealing all life’s harmony and rhyme. Like the perfect emotive and beautiful yet cold and unfeelingness of Ice. It can capture your heart and stir your eye, yet leave you chilled to the bone. I like this one! Love Ya~ ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
nicely written sonnet...love the ending couplet! |
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RAM Member
since 2000-03-24
Posts 153 |
Wow, Denise. well crafted. seldom have I seen such a sharp point wielded by a sonnet. Rick |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Terry, Beki and Rick for reading and for your wonderful comments! I'm glad you liked it! Denise |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
That's two on the trot you got me with, Denise... Big HUSG |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Wow, denise, You are outdoing yourself, if that is possible. A wonderful sonnet, indeed! Just amazing! 'Liz |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Cindy and Elizabeth! HUGS to you both! Denise |
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Lady Web Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 96Houston, Texas |
words well put, the light will shine again [This message has been edited by Lady Web (edited 05-16-2000).] |
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Dom Mart Member
since 1999-08-17
Posts 164Florida |
Denise, The pain comes across and so does the beauty. Dom |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you Lady Web and Dom for reading and for your lovely comments! Denise |
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