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Passions in Poetry

Day In The Rain ( co-written by Lone Wolf )

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Jeffrey Carter
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State of constant confusion!


0 posted 05-13-2000 03:36 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

This poem was co-written by Lone Wolf. Thank you m'friend! We must do this again sometime

Words of silence echo through this lonely room
They speak loudly of impending doom
I'll never know why I left her standing in the rain
So much to lose, yet nothing to gain

How did we ever get to this place
God, how I miss her tender embrace
The sweet smell of her perfume lingers
Thought I felt, the gentle touch of her silken fingers

Last night as I slept, her vision in my dreams
Guess it wasn't as real as it seemed
Another day awakened to a lonely bed
Is it possible this is all in my head?

Can't even look myself in the eye
Since the day I told her good-bye
Can't seem to stop this fountain of tears
Feels like I've been crying for so many years

She used to be mine, but I let her go
It's a wonder my heart's beat continues to flow
I'd give anything just to hear her voice
I'd give up my life, if given the choice

I know that she's gone, forever I fear
But I will eternally hold her heart dear
Forever reliving that day in the rain
My heart doomed to dwell in perpetual pain


 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

© Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved
netswan
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since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


1 posted 05-13-2000 03:52 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Jeffry and Lone Wolf
what fun it is to write a poem
together.

Beautifully done!  

hugs to you two
netswan
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 05-13-2000 04:06 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

LoneWolf and Jeffrey~
A lovely collaboration you two created.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

brian madden
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since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


3 posted 05-13-2000 08:07 AM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

It is interesting to read a poem from two different voices, great team effort, really enjoyed reading it, both beautiful and sad.


I would love to write a poem with someone so if any one is interested e-mail me at
lost_boy_zero@hotmail.com
Sudhir Iyer
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since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


4 posted 05-13-2000 08:12 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Nice work, Jeffery and Lone Wolf...

Nice flow of thoughts and intensity in feelings here....

Regards, sudhir.

 Life is like a painting,
That in an art gallery is left hanging,
Though many come just to look at it,
A very few actually come to enjoy it.
JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


5 posted 05-13-2000 08:26 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

"I'll never know why I left her standing in the rain...so much to lose..yet nothing to gain"..  Reminded me of an old girlfriend..Nancy Daughters...that I broke up with in the rain.   We had broken up before but this was The DAY and I walked home in the pouring rain and I was pouring tears...and somehow I knew that was the last breakup...This is the one I wanted to read...what a team...keep up the good work...James
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley


6 posted 05-13-2000 08:48 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Wonderful collaboration!! This is a meeting of the poetic soul....I love it.  
Butterflies_dont_cry
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since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


7 posted 05-13-2000 09:37 AM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry


One poem, one voice
two beautiful souls.
A sad colaboration of
pain, my hope is that
you both find healing
in the release together
(which I know you will)
Two fine poets and when
you join as a team....
Amazing!! *hugs* to you
both  

poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


8 posted 05-13-2000 10:03 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Lonewolf & Jeffrey...you two did a fabulous job here, although very sad.  I think the rain brings out the most intense of feelings sometimes.  And raindrops do mingle well with tears.  You can cry, and most won't even know you're crying....

This poem touched me in a special sort of way, but I'm struggling to put my finger on it.  If I figure it out, I'll let you guys know.     Again, fantastic work!

 "Laugh and the world laughs with you..." cry, and you're all alone. My version - pFF


hsystems
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since 03-28-2000
Posts 320
Murray, UT, USA


9 posted 05-13-2000 10:34 AM       View Profile for hsystems   Email hsystems   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hsystems's Home Page   View IP for hsystems

Lonewolf & Jeffrey - you are two of my favorite poets here, and this poem is an excellent example of why!  You both have such wonderful hearts, and your feelings flow so smoothly into your poetry!  {{{HUGS}}} to both of you, and thanks for sharing this beautiful collaboration!
BTW, Jeffrey - I love you man, LOL!


Troy

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm


Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


10 posted 05-13-2000 11:40 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Can't even look myself in the eye
Since the day I told her good-bye
Can't seem to stop this fountain of tears
Feels like I've been crying for so many years

She used to be mine, but I let her go
It's a wonder my heart's beat continues to flow
I'd give anything just to hear her voice
I'd give up my life, if given the choice
------------

wow, J,& LW

this is SO emotional and excellently written
you guys are great together,
wonderful writing and soul searchin here.
I hope you two try this again.
jm

 It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and you lose it all ...
And it's unnerving
How one move just puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell ...
I'm not sayin
That there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
And I'm not sayin
We ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let you get away from me.
~MB20~Leave


Jeffrey Carter
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11 posted 05-13-2000 03:41 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Thanks ya'll.....I think I can speak for us both when I say we had fun writing this  
quite a challenge to feed off each other's thoughts an excellent way to cure writer's block as well

Lone Wolf...We gotta do this again  

All my love,
Jeffrey

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

SpitFire
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since 04-19-2000
Posts 2428


12 posted 05-13-2000 03:52 PM       View Profile for SpitFire   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpitFire

~What a creatively crafty idea.  Well done you two.  Superb co-writing here.  
Lone Wolf
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since 03-16-2000
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Lansing, MI USA


13 posted 05-13-2000 06:09 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Wow...Thank you to everyone who replied for your encouragement and great comments.  Speak away for us, Jeffrey!  You are right a lot of fun writing this!!     

Jeffrey...would love to write another with you!!  Just say when!!  

Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


14 posted 05-13-2000 06:26 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Wow - you two did a remarkable job with this.  It's always special when you can find someone who you can write "in tune" with.  This one reaches deep, Jeffrey & Lonewolf - wonderful work.


Michael
Jeffrey Carter
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15 posted 05-13-2000 09:25 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Spitfire....Thanks from both of us.

Lone Wolf....Anytime you want...can't wait

Micheal....You are sooo right, really had fun writing this.

All my love,
Jeffrey

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Jeffrey Carter
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16 posted 05-17-2000 01:18 AM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

here ya go again penny, read it , print it , whatever....i feel like a jerk to keep sending my own work back to the top  

sorry guys.....forgive me

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

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