Silence is in its nature,
paralysed in its barbed embrace
I submit my infancy
easily for my hands are too feeble
to raise a fist in my own defence.
Devil eyes stalk me as a weak fawn,
Another pathetic creature
deserving of nothing less.
On my knees attentive
to the lessons inflicted.
Disciplined to acceptance,
Recite in tear choked whispers her acid taunts
"I am a fat pig, I am worthless."
(CHILDREN REPEAT AFTER ME
"he is a fat pig he is nothing.")
Against the blackboard, stripped naked
so every insecurity may be exploited
forced to tears for her entertainment.
Casual observers with eyes turned inwards
Say, "It is so beautiful.
Child Hood is only happiness.
School days are the best days of your life."
Cowering in the shadows of crowds
in the playground, seems so empty.
I only have peace in this unseen existence.
Silence is in its nature.
There is no solace as a lamb
in the company of wolves.
The Children make her perfect brood
eager to mimic, their innocence
acts as a disarming disguise
for such foul parasites.
Bleed me with games of torture
games of alienation
Games I do not want to play.
Scars fade as memory heals,
yet lost time can never be reclaimed.
Feel the pain fresh on my skin
yet it is not hers to treasure.
I reclaim these memories as mine.
Fear was her leash, her only strength.
Bitterness corrodes revealing only weakness
once hidden in hatred. Alone the misery persists.
She is now a broken form, empty without victory.
The Jabberwocky haunts bearing my once tear stained face,
It speaks the truth
" All the hatred was in vain,
for I can not be defeated."