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Passions in Poetry

Closer.

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brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


0 posted 05-11-2000 07:08 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for brian madden

Curl into a foetal pose,
burying my breath beneath the blankets.
Somewhere under, a mute voice
summons a scream, fading in emptiness
as a whisper of still echoes.

Banish my eyes so afraid
for they are mirrors of truth,
reflecting always my shallow soul.
I retract, held in a cocoon
embrace naked, complete in fragility.

Shudder on a frozen kiss,
strangling me slowly these icy lips.
Lacking the will for warmth
I freeze in my lonely dreams
biting back against my suppression.  

I have monitored my evolution
from egg shell to vacant vessel.
Construct barrier walls for preservation,
in a embryo of isolated closer
nothing required safe for breathing.

© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
lorilockheart
Member
since 05-06-2000
Posts 206
Alabama


1 posted 05-11-2000 07:29 PM       View Profile for lorilockheart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lorilockheart

Going back to a fragile state like that of an embryo.  I can only wonder what made this happen.  

This poem really had me thinking, which I always enjoy.  

Creative, interesting, expressive writing.
Lori

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance.
song by LeeAnn Womack
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 05-11-2000 08:03 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

With all of the expression, emotion and soul searching within these lines, I cannot fathom there is a "shallow soul" within this vessel. Wonderfully thought-provoking Brian. I enjoyed this!

Best wishes,
/Kit
Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 1231
St. Paul, MN


3 posted 05-11-2000 08:32 PM       View Profile for Dusk Treader   Email Dusk Treader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dusk Treader

Okay.. this is frightening, Closer (By Nine Inch Nails) just came on the radio as I opened this...

That aside, I must say that I greatly enjoyed your poem Brian.  Strong poem and strong writing... I agree with Kit that no "shallow soul" could write a poem so deep and so full of emotion.

Excellent writing, greatly enjoyed.


 Abrahm Simons

"You...
You are so special
You have the talent
To make me feel like Dirt" - Alice in Chains, "Dirt"
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 08-26-99
Posts 1064
northern mountains, Idaho


4 posted 05-11-2000 10:05 PM       View Profile for Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Email Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rosemary J. Gwaltney's Home Page   View IP for Rosemary J. Gwaltney

This is a very, very deep poem, touching me at the depths of my soul.  Something terribly fragile and sad here.  Scary, almost. Wonderfully, powerfully written.



 The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G.

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


5 posted 05-12-2000 12:06 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Oh Brian...I think someone needs to hold you while you sleep sir.  This is fragile, yet so tenderly wonderful.  I agee with Kim though.  She said it all in her response.  You are so much more than you might think.  Your writing says so much about the kind of person you are, and I do believe I LIKE you lots!     I hope to read much more from you!
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


6 posted 05-12-2000 01:37 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Wow thanks to everyone, you are too kind.

Dusk Threader, I have yet to hear that Nine inch nails song though I did borrow the title for the poem from a Joy Division album.

I guess I am interested in an inner sancutary where I can be happy in isolation. This world can seem quite large and wide open at times.  
Yes Femmefatale it probably help if I had someone to hold me, then maybe this world would not seem so wide open.  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 05-12-2000 02:24 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Fabulous writing, Brian. My most favorite line, though they are all great, is:

'from egg shell to vacant vessel'

Very good!

Denise

REBECCA ALLYN
Member
since 05-09-2000
Posts 91
Lima,Ohio


8 posted 05-12-2000 02:28 PM       View Profile for REBECCA ALLYN   Email REBECCA ALLYN   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for REBECCA ALLYN

BEautiful,absoultly beauiful
great work I really like this poem it's so very deep and interesting!!!!


LOTS of LUV,
Becky

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084


9 posted 05-12-2000 02:44 PM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

Brian, very penetrating the feelings I read on screen ~ indeed this is great writing.
CocoBaci
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 05-12-2000 03:27 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Brian, there is so much said in this poem one has to read it twice or even three times to catch all the fabulous lines you've used. Nicely done  
 
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