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Passions in Poetry

Deconstructing Eve

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brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


0 posted 05-11-2000 04:24 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for brian madden

I bruise easy: the price to pay
for the precious flesh I wear
taut on my petite frame,
I long for my skin to suffocate
as a Clingfilm cocoon.
Take care to paint me
gingerly erasing all blemishes.
Cleanse my skin,
deconstruct my form
or drain me if necessary,
for I am going to look beautiful,
tonight I diet: the sacrifice
to be wanted by their eyes.
No sweet cakes to churn bitter vomit.
No alcohol, for I can not lose focus.

You linger for hours unsure
of how to approach
such a splendid specimen,
unsure on which areas to
improve upon.
Ready the scalpels, skin grafts
and lasers,
consult diagrams and magazines
full of pictures of naked
beauties you used to
masturbate on,
now to be studied to perfect
this  fatal flaw.
When I am completed immerse
my skin in Vaseline for there
must be easy motion
on my lusted flesh: the price to pay
when reconstructing Eve.


© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 05-11-2000 04:54 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Take care to paint me
gingerly erasing all blemishes.
Cleanse my skin,
deconstruct my form
or drain me if necessary,
for I am going to look beautiful,
tonight I diet: the sacrifice
to be wanted by their eyes.

-------------
this is excellently conceived and written.
most creative.
how rare to see a man write a poem thru a womans view.
and the poem speaks volumes of how we are bombared with images and pressures to look perfect...very thought provoking piece.
take care, jm


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 05-11-2000).]
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


2 posted 05-12-2000 12:10 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Very interesting indeed, from a man's point of view!  How sad...how sad...how true.  This is powerful sir.  Painfully powerful.  BRAVO for your creative way of speaking out.  I loved the title, btw!
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


3 posted 05-12-2000 05:54 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

It seems that todays society has turned the female form, the essence of a woman into a commodity. There is so much pressure, all generated by companies. Image is everything or as said in the Bible "vanity of vanities, all is vanity." What made the poem more interesting for me to write is the fact that
part of me is guilty of judging women on appearance, just these damn hormones.

Thanks for your comments.
Enola
Member
since 02-11-2000
Posts 138
England


4 posted 05-15-2000 05:04 AM       View Profile for Enola   Email Enola   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enola

I love this poem!  It's so powerful and excellently written.  If you hadn't replied to my last poem, I probably wouldn't have read this, so thank you.  I think the subject matter should be addressed more often, because these days, the pressure is so much greater and it isn't just on women.  I don't think you could have written this more effectively.  It is - dare I say it - perfect.

 The tragedy of it is that nobody sees the look of desperation on my face. Thousands and thousands of us, and we're passing one another without a look of recognition.

Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


5 posted 05-15-2000 10:24 AM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

very creative and excellent writing!
enjoyed reading this,
dh
 
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