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Open Poetry #7
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~Heart In Hand~
| Open Poetry #7 |
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~Heart In Hand~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
~Heart In Hand~ < !signature-->In the silence left behind, as you leave, apparently gone to stay ... as I search for the reasons of why ... all I can hear is the things you didn't say. I cant be mad or hurt by the promises you never made ... you never lied ... you never led ... what you did was just quietly fade. You begged me not to love you ... and I tried ... but I still fell anyway ... I promised you no expectations ... and Im sorry ... that was much harder to keep -- than it was to say. The things we had in common, were the things we were doing without, and for just a little while we helped each other quiet all those doubts. I guess the intensity made me blind ... but I really thought you knew me by now, If only you could have just trusted -- part of you-with-me, somehow. Im so sorry I held you too close... you wanted the pleasure but not the affection, Im realizing now ... my emotions are what sent you off in a different direction. I never saw you leaving, never saw your hand on the door ... Blinded by your beauty ... I missed all the signs ... although I've been here so many times before. I truly thought you understood my love would never chain you down ... I tried so hard to make you see ... I would never let you drown. I don't want us to be hurt by this, I cant stand to think your scared of me, I need you to believe ... I promised I would let you go -- no guilt, no misery. I take credit for the mistakes I made, I know Ive only myself to blame, I knew going in I could get burned ... But I was so damn drawn to your flame. The only thing Im guilty of is giving too much of me away ... I just wanted to please you... and to bring to you ... the same sweet contentment you brought to my day. Now it seems that too much of me ... is way too much for you ... and this hurts so damn bad that you wont even talk to me ... that I dont know what Im gonna do. All I want this to end right for us both ... without any pain or regret ... I am so much better for you touching me ... so please ... never forget -- If you ever change your mind -- and a little more of me you think you could stand ... you always know how to find me ... here where Ive always been ... wishing on a star ... looking out at you ... heart in hand. Janet Marie It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and you lose it all ... And it's unnerving How one move just puts me by myself There you go just trusting someone else Now I know I put us both through hell ... I'm not sayin That there was nothing wrong I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me And I'm not sayin We ever had the right to hold on I just didn't wanna let you get away from me. ~MB20~Leave [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 05-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Ah, Janet Marie, this is so beautifully touching! Denise |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Janet~ Wow..... this is so emotional so heartwrenching for me to read....Excellent my friend.  -SEA |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
Janet, This was so sad, you made me feel your emotions deeply. I am sorry if this is based in reality. You were able to communicate your feelings wonderfully. David2 |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
JM, here's thinkin bout you BEG ~~~~~ sure is a touching piece you have written here. lots of expression and sincerity! best to you!!!! BEH |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
J.M.* My goodness girl you have got me bawling...this was full of.........mirrors. I know how hard this was for you to write and your deserve **AWhugs** and lots of them. We love with all we have J.M.~ it's who we are. The last lines were beyond beautiful. If you ever change your mind -- and a little more of me you think you could stand ... you always know how to find me ... here where Ive always been ... wishing on a star ... looking out at you ... heart in my hand. We always leave the door open too  Love ya!! B.D.C. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Janet I know these poems of the heart are hard to write sometimes but they have a way of soothing out soul...James |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Dear Janet Marie; My heart goes out to you. The depth of feelings in this poem are wrenching. I'll keep you in my prayers. In spite of the pain this poem holds, I must say that it is beautiful. Love, Ellie 02 |
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lorilockheart Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206Alabama |
J. Marie, "Sis" you've touched my heart again. You truly express your emotions in the most beautiful way - always. Remember this - we can never get enough of your here - especially me. I'm thinking about you. Lori ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance. song by LeeAnn Womack ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
It's so difficult to find the delicate balance in love ... sometimes too much ... sometimes too little ... this was heartwrenchingly beautiful Janet Marie. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
JM, My heart goes out to you, my friend. This is raw emotion at its best....so heartfelt and soul searching. I just love it....every bit!! Especially this part: All I want this to end right for us both ... without any pain or regret ... I am so much better for you touching me ... so please ... never forget -- If you ever change your mind -- and a little more of me you think you could stand ... you always know how to find me ... here where Ive always been ... wishing on a star ... looking out at you ... heart in hand. Just beautiful, JM, beautiful!!!! We do have so much in common these days... Take care!! {{{HUGS}}} LW Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
jm - talk about holding your heart in your hand... Beautifully written, heartfelt, and I really feel sorry for the other person. Some people just don't know what they have (lost). But that's the way things are, isn't it. I think we all grow in some way from things like that. And memories, though painful sometimes (and these too, temper) are wonderful to have. thanks, j. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Janet - - Oh girl...I know where you're coming from. I've experienced this myself, and oh how silence from the one you love, hurts. Sometimes, they are in a situation you really don't know all about, and sometimes it hurts them just as much to have to be silent. You've done all you can do, by simply telling him your heart, and now just be there for him as a friend. You may be surprised at how soon he comes back. I read his poetry to you, and I know he did care a great deal. Keep your chin up, and stay strong. Maybe he'll come staggering back soon! You take care of you in the meantime, ok? It is a delicate balance as someone above said. You just never know...Read Sven's new poem called, "Fly away bird" or something like that. It's beautiful, and something I think you'll be able to relate to. Love you girl! |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
This was such a real part of you. Beautifully written. It trully must have been hard to write. The pain of a love pulling away is never easy to accept or understand. Hugs my friend. Parker |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
JM, so many of the feelings you expressed are so familiar to me, I feel for you. Not all those who wander are lost. ~J.R.R. Tolkien |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
When love is imbalanced - One often loves more deeply than the other - and seldom do we escape the inevitable pain that brings... You've said it all, my friend..  |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Gulp ... uh, either you have been reading my mind (scary) or you share my luck (tragic)... Either way, you have my sincerest condolences ... this was truly from-the-heart, and it struck a few notes on my own ... --Kess Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
Oh, the soul mourns repeatedly in this lifetime. If only we knew the outcome, would we risk so much to begin with? The world will never know.... Tormenting words you have here JanetMarie. I couldn't have said them better myself. Now, if only I didn't feel them so well. Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and use the chance To return to innocence. -Enigma |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Your words hit me hard once again, JM. We are all too often left standing with our heart in our hand, yearning for another to feel the way we do, but knowing that it's just not meant to be...powerful and heartwrenching, this is. *Krista Knutson* ~We are only truly lost when we have lost ourselves~ |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL |
Man... forgive me for digging up all these old poems but I've missed quite a few. This one hits hard, Jan. Love it. Just like so many above said, I've been there and man do I feel your pain. I could see the next line before I read it... very heart filled. {{{{ HUGS }}}} --Dave< !signature--> "Don't let your character get camoflaged with your environment. Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors." --Rachel Joy Scott [This message has been edited by WhiteNite (edited 05-17-2000).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Softness from the heart...James |
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