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Open Poetry #7
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Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209


0 posted 2000-05-11 10:29 AM


pieces of me

one
two more
sometimes too many at a time
falling tumbling
holding me together
weighing me down
I struggle to round
them up and put
them back in place
but somewhere along the line
I lost the cover of the puzzle
and I can’t seem to find
where they fit
so I stuff them
where ever
just to keep from losing
something
I might someday need
but the mirror shows the me
that is the result
of my puzzle piecing
my lack of goals
my anger strutted walk
though life
and I don’t think that’s what
the picture on the box is supposed to
look like
so
its no wonder that I put a corner piece
where my heart should go
and now it hurts
when it beats
against the jangling angles
I have cornered inside of me
and even my poems are
suffering along side with the
inside of me
they wander and lose sight
and have no end
no beginning and I can’t put
them together right
in the middle
either…
and another piece
falls


© Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved
REBECCA ALLYN
Member
since 2000-05-09
Posts 91
Lima,Ohio
1 posted 2000-05-11 10:32 AM


WOW!! such heart!!
I really can feel where you are coming from on this one!!Wonderful work!!!
Remember:there is always a rainbow after the storm

LOTS of LUV,
Becky

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
2 posted 2000-05-11 10:38 AM


Me thinks you just need a gentle hand to put your puzzle back together dearest!!! ((((HUGS)))) and more if you need them!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...


Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

3 posted 2000-05-11 11:21 AM


thanks you two...am just feeling "misplaced" lately.....hugs back
aurora
New Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 9

4 posted 2000-05-11 11:30 AM


WOW!!!  Your poem really tapped into my own struggle to fit the puzzle together, thanks!!
Just hold on, your clarity will return!
Sincerely,
Aurora

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

5 posted 2000-05-11 11:37 AM


Well, Corazon, you may be feeling out of place but your poems are certainly not suffering from it. They are some of the best I have read!

Denise

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
6 posted 2000-05-11 12:42 PM


it's a unique moment for me when all my pieces fit together...

again, i really identify with your work

well written metaphor... nice job!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2000-05-11 01:00 PM


Great poem, discombobulated one!! *S*
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
8 posted 2000-05-11 01:57 PM


Hang in there sweetheart, sometimes it's the picture on the box that's all wrong and what makes up the real picture is incredibly beautiful...yes?..

You take care

HUSG

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

9 posted 2000-05-11 02:40 PM


Aurora thanks...hope you do better at your puzzle than me  

Denise thank you, your praise always makes me smile  

doreen peri from you that means alot   thank you

suthern those are might big words for a southern gal *g*....good to see you here...thank you  

RainbowGirl  hey...I like your way of thinking...wanna help me build my puzzle? lol I get the feeling we will like the picture we come up with  


Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
10 posted 2000-05-11 07:17 PM


Corazon* This is superb!! Every line drew me in deeper and left me with a feeling of understanding.  I don't see your poems suffering at all!! Poetry is a chance to work it all out and perhaps make things fit how they are supposed to....my own puzzel is missing a few edge and middle pieces as well   Well done and thank you for sharing this piece!!
lorilockheart
Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206
Alabama
11 posted 2000-05-11 07:32 PM


You are so creative!  I enjoyed every line of this poem, getting closer and closer to the meaning.  Unique expression of how jumbled up we sometimes feel.  Let me tell you, I think you've got it together more than you know - the way you've put it into words shows you are really in touch with yourself.  I enjoyed this one - lots!
Lori

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance.
song by LeeAnn Womack
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2000-05-11 07:40 PM


You've put your words together beautifully into a lovely picturesque package Corazon ... this is a wonderful and flowing verse!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
13 posted 2000-05-11 08:09 PM


Corazon, I love your poetry.  You put so much heart and feeling into it.  




 It matters not how strait the gate;
How charged with punishments the scroll;
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
--W.E. Henley



Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
14 posted 2000-05-11 09:09 PM


Nuts. I thought by the title you were having a garage sale.

You're writing is, as always, hard hitting and real, Corazon. This one is no exception.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
15 posted 2000-05-11 11:14 PM


Corazon~

I loved this ...

If the pieces of the puzzle of me
ever come together ... someone might just
take me apart, put me back in the box and take me to that garage sale Balladeer thought you were having.

This render was brilliantly displayed.
Your writing is 'jig-sawing' nicely.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

16 posted 2000-05-15 09:21 AM


thanks all *big soft smile* my life is so jumbled these days that I was surprised to see responses from PIP in my mail, I barely rememeber last week and the writing of this...so again....thank you, your responses sit kindly and softly in my heart  
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
17 posted 2000-05-15 09:50 AM


Corazon--

this poem touched me more than you can imagine...i sometimes feel like this too...like nothing fits where it should anymore and i have no clue as to what the next day is going to hold for me. you captured your feelings both brilliantly and beautifully in this piece...I really admire your style of writing! great poem!!

take care,
amy  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

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