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Open Poetry #7
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An Inch Away
| Open Poetry #7 |
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An Inch Away |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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If I could write this on my knees, in prayer--my heart soft in her plea, every atom split in two-- that's all that I would want from you. And if my tingling lips would stop, I'd damn them, from my very mouth... And should my eyes choose not to cry-- my breath would weep within each sigh... How shall I cry? Explain this pain? How give my all and still remain? Why is it you're an inch away? How can I leave? How can I stay? |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Serenity, This one is real good! How often do we experience that the one that we love is so close yet so far... and the desperation increases with the passage of time, it really does...posing questions... Regards, sudhir In any moment of decision, The best thing you can do is the right thing, The next-best thing is the wrong thing, And the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
oh man,*shaking me head* ya know how I like to cut and paste the lines that effect me the most... I tried to do it here and I kept highlighting the whole damn poem!! Every line me twin...every line... I felt each perfect word. serenity this poem is SO emotionally PERFECT and amazing... man, you are just so good at this *smile* (in case ya cant tell) I LOVE this poem. *S* except for the part of how Im gonna walk around with poet envy all day cause I didnt write it *smile*... but I think can live with it  loves ya me poetice sweetness jm It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and you lose it all ... And it's unnerving How one move just puts me by myself There you go just trusting someone else Now I know I put us both through hell ... I'm not sayin That there was nothing wrong I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me And I'm not sayin We ever had the right to hold on I just didn't wanna let you get away from me. ~MB20~Leave |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
You always write so beautifully ... and I'm not the best at reading between the lines ... but this really has a strong emotional plea ... more for understanding than for love Very well done Rex |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Excellent Serenity, I can hear your plea in the lonliness of the night. . . Superb poem. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Serenity, this is beautiful writing... ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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