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Passions in Poetry

healing

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danny
Junior Member
since 05-09-2000
Posts 18


0 posted 05-10-2000 05:25 AM       View Profile for danny   Email danny   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for danny


         CHANGE

what is that burning light
oh so far away
is it the end of darkness
is it the break of day

am i a newly planted seed
who'll grow with suns first rays
am i not that withered weed
that once was on display

am i the trickle of a stream
who'll fill with all the rain
and not the dusty river bed
who thirsted for your name



 
© Copyright 2000 danny rowland - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


1 posted 05-10-2000 05:40 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Aye Danny,
The light you see burning, ever so far away,
Is a spot of sparkle in your life,
That darkness would now go away,
Taking take away reasons of strife.

A dusty rived bed, maybe a withered seed,
You may have probably once been,
The rays will lighten you and fulfil your need,
Her name will give you the elixir that changes the scene...

-----

good work Danny, craving and longing is clearly discovered in your words...
Be patient...

Regards, sudhir

 In any moment of decision,
The best thing you can do is the right thing,
The next-best thing is the wrong thing,
And the worst thing you can do is nothing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 05-10-2000 06:23 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Very picturesque Danny ... I loved the comparisons you used and could feel the "dusty river bed" drinking in it's long-awaited life force. Lovely poem!

Best wishes,
/Kit
Brandyn Sand
Member
since 04-21-2000
Posts 82
Columbia, SC


3 posted 05-10-2000 08:25 AM       View Profile for Brandyn Sand   Email Brandyn Sand   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Brandyn Sand's Home Page   View IP for Brandyn Sand

Remarkable work! Twas so easy to see myself in the scene that you painted here.  Effective meter, and I've always loved the 2/4 rhyming pattern.  Outstanding!!

 
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


4 posted 05-10-2000 08:39 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

Ah beautiful, this shows alot of strength I hope it stays with you  
Tracie~


 Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


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