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Yearning at Four A.M.
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Yearning at Four A.M. |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho 
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Is it all right ~ ~ ~ for me to reach into your sleeping’s dream? Would you mind if I touched you, gently creeping, yet unseen? Would you stir awake in drowsy pleasure? Is this the magic moment when the laser show begins? The lights are low; and your desire’s the treasure that I seek. We could see the colors through our powerful love’s lens, undulating above us if we chanced a peek. ~ ~ ~ Will this familiar internal rhythm merge our minds upon the ceiling above our warm, fused entangled forms rocking on the waterbed? Is this one of those enchanted times when our bodies and souls will melt together in swirling circles’ spread, and the flashing kindled passion of euphoria’s lightning land? ~ ~ ~ Yearning, I slowly, tenderly reach out my hand ... ~ ~ ~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Rosemary J. Gwaltney - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Rosemary, so beautiful...sigh! (I hope you did touch his hand) |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
yea, that's good Martie, but her aims not so good, unless I'm missing something..? If I could paint a portrait, of this life in which I've led, and somehow sketch a story, of the visions in my head, I'd start out with a canvas, stretched tightly in a frame, and in the bottom corner, I'd leave room to sign my name. (Michelle A. Bartley) |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Rosemary, your poetry is always so full of emotion and imagery... this is absolutely lovely! I have always wondered about the 'form' you use... the way the lines form a shape... care to share the reasons for this? I find it easy to read and not distracting... but somewhat intriguing. Thanks! |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Dear Martie - I appreciate your comment. Yes, I do touch - but usually not only his hand, unless we're in public! (I'm grateful for your dreamy side, as well as your humor!) ~ ~ ~ Dearest lucky - you rascal - my aim is just fine! I can tell!!! ~ ~ ~ Dear Doreen, Thank you for enjoying this. It was fun to write. I got hooked on shapes, by my husband lucky's wonderful artistic shapes. Though I'll never be as good at it as he is, I still find myself addicted. It's really nice to hear that it does not distract you. I have often wondered about that. It does, as well, give me great freedom to incorporate rhymes in interwoven places, without the demand to place them at the end of lines. I never was good at that. I couldn't keep my feelings' clarity on the page that way - it seemed that they all became forced and trite, and, losing much meaning and emotion, disappointed me. ~ ~ ~ |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Whew...this one breaths fire  Love it |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Thanks for explaining, Rosemary. And yes, your interior rhyming is one of the most fascinating things about your poetry and it works quite well. I used to do a lot of that myself but somehow have moved away from it. I need to try to do incorporate interior rhyme again... it's a wonderful skill you have. About the shapes... I think it would be interesting (since you and lucky have such a knack for this) to write a poem about something and make the 'shape' of the poem somehow represent a concept about the poem. For instance, let's say you wrote a poem about music... you could make the 'shape' of the poem like a musical note... or a poem about a bird, make the shape like a bird flying...that's my challenge to you... i'd love to see/read that!!! Again, nice work and thanks for the discussion. |
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lorilockheart Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206Alabama |
Oh, at all the questions that go through our minds, even in the most intimate, personal moments. I love the shape, feel, and flow of your writing. Lori ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance - I hope you dance. song by LeeAnn Womack ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Alright, I'm missing something... So what is it..! If I could paint a portrait, of this life in which I've led, and somehow sketch a story, of the visions in my head, I'd start out with a canvas, stretched tightly in a frame, and in the bottom corner, I'd leave room to sign my name. (Michelle A. Bartley) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Rosemary, wonderful as always, and hey Lucky...I think what you think you are missing is [he he] right at your fingertips... |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
hoot_owl - your response tickles me! Thanks! doreen peri - thanks again for your comments! lorilockheart - thank you for appreciating it! Sunshine - I appreciate you too! Thank you all. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
'Tis not quite four a.m., but I could feel this nonetheless ... Sigh ... --Kess Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i loved the poem..as to doreen's challenge i tried it a while back and yuh tiz hard i was gonna get a pic of my wife trace it and fill the lines with romanticisms about her i mite still try it but im too lazy |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
thanks for telling me about this poem... I wouldnt have wanted to miss it... very lovely and passionate... thanx to you and the hubby for the read and reply to my ache  yours was much more poetic than mine... got a little overheated writing it LOL take care, jm |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Rosemary~ Oh, you romantic, you ! And Lucky is indeed, LUCKY ! (but he knows that) You know the 'shapes' intrigue me and I'd have to state that a visit to your home page is a poetic AND an visually artistic treat ! How I also enjoy the shaping/painting of the thoughts from my heart. I'm still trying to figure out how to make one of the ones I've done .. 'take' on this forum. Grrrrrr ! I'll figure it out someday. Thank you always for your sweetness and the sharing of your talent. Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Rosemary, Wonderful poem one of your best. |
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