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Untitled ( any ideas?)

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Marilyn
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since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


0 posted 05-08-2000 07:59 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Marilyn

Hollow emptiness
Echoes
Through the chamber
Of my heart.

Cold
Nothingness
Warms my
Tainted skin.

Fingers
Of lost hope
Caress my skin
As the darkness
At last
Settles in.


 When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face...

William Butler Yeats


[This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 05-08-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


1 posted 05-08-2000 08:09 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

This one grabs ya, that's for sure Marilyn.  God, I know this feeling.  "Emotional Death" Trying to think of a title - maybe "numb".
Good poem.


Michael
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 05-08-2000 08:14 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Marilyn~
This is so sadly written.
It deserves a pretty title ...
how about Echoes Of My Heart ?

Great big *HUGS* to you.
It is lovely ... though a heart-breaker.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


3 posted 05-08-2000 08:19 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

This packs a punch of sadness in a few short lines...how about "echoes" ?
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 05-08-2000 08:54 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Wow, much said in few words...got to agree that this packs a punch. How about "Stone Cold Caress"
Isis
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since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


5 posted 05-08-2000 09:48 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Darkness Revisted?
or
Darkness An Old Friend?

So sad Maz hugs from your Aussie sister  

 A heart and soul are not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


Denise
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since 08-22-99
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6 posted 05-08-2000 09:52 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Excellent poem, Marilyn. Very sad   How about 'Nothingness' or 'Echoes of Nothingness'?

Denise
Dusk Treader
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since 06-18-99
Posts 1231
St. Paul, MN


7 posted 05-08-2000 09:55 PM       View Profile for Dusk Treader   Email Dusk Treader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dusk Treader

Short, powerful poem Marilyn.  The pain shines through in poetic beauty, I feel much the same... How about "Frozen Echoes" for a title?

 Abrahm Simons

"You...
You are so special
You have the talent
To make me feel like Dirt" - Alice in Chains, "Dirt"
Jeffrey Carter
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since 04-08-2000
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State of constant confusion!


8 posted 05-08-2000 09:59 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Powerful...how about "Echoes of an empty heart"?

All my love,
Jeffrey

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Rex Allen McCoy
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since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


9 posted 05-08-2000 11:13 PM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

Hi Marilyn ... very sad poem you've written
... the only title that comes to mind
is
'Echoe Chamber'

Rex}>{{{{o>
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


10 posted 05-09-2000 04:09 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Michael...I know you can relate to this piece. It is something I never thought would happen to me. I wouldn't let myself get involved in something that would strike that final blow. It seems I was mistaken and have again felt emotional destruction. Maybe someday I will find something that will build me up instead of tearing me down. Until then I must cling to what can keep me a float.  

Marg..thankyou and thankyou for the title suggestion.  

Martie...Thanks for the input.

Ruth...The inspiration for this took the wind right out of me...so I guess this should hit hard.

Isis...thanks for the ideas my sister.   And thanks for the ear. ((hug))

Thankyou Denise...for everything and especially for your concern. ((hug))

Abe...I am glad that you could feel this.  

Jeffrey...Thanks for the input and for the kudo's.  

Rex....Writing is a way for me to empty my pain. I am glad it comes through in my words.  

 
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