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infinat3 sadn3ss
Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 85
somerset england

0 posted 2000-05-08 05:38 PM

The lift has closed behind me
and theres no going back ,
all i can do is pray
that its heading the right way .
Its going to distinguish
weither the pressure on my body
is coming from up or down .
i can feel a distant shudder
from a floor i have not yet tread .
the lift slows down and ,
with a metallic growl ,the doors open .
there are many open doors but i can see no'one .
After what seems like an eternity
the doors resume their entombing status .
again , the lift moves off towards ,
my obscured destination .
a piece of rubbish that was once in the corner
has moved next to my feet
and a couple " i loves" havee appeared on the wall
my upper arms have become sore
and when i look , i see scratches and bruises .
a subconcious feeling convinces me the air has become thinner .
suggesting either , i am going up or , the lift is sealed .
i have occasional urges to push the emergency stop
but i decide to wait and see where i end up

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

1 posted 2000-05-09 02:25 AM

I can picture some of this and also feel some of it.

It has the makings of a dream too.

Familiar.

Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau"

mete out
Member

since 2000-02-16

Posts 270
england

2 posted 2000-05-09 04:58 AM

***best friend,
you know how much i love this one.
i think about it so much since i read it.

"i have occasional urges to push the emergency stop
but i decide to wait and see where i end up"

i'm not sure if this was a concious thought on your part, but i'm going to use these lines as a metaphor in my life, there have been many times when i've wanted to give up, throw in the towel, but i'm going to keep going, to see where i end up.

well the f**k done cabes!

I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.

angelswing
Senior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 705
United Kingdom

3 posted 2000-05-09 06:07 AM

Wow cable dude, this is one of your best, I love the poem, the idea and the wounderful metaphor of how you get to the edge but carry on just to see where it gets you . At least your going up cabe, going down would be even worse .
I love this poem, it has the elaquence and suffictication of the likes of which I don't often see . Keep riding that ride cabe, it will take you to your destiny which I am sure will be good - you deserve it .
L.of.L. Tom .

With poetry as your weapon - express your iner feelings so all may carry your sorrow, united as one .

Brandyn Sand
Member

since 2000-04-21

Posts 82
Columbia, SC

4 posted 2000-05-09 07:19 AM

This had me actually holding my breath *whew!*

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