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Passions in Poetry

Stark Realization

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Effigy
Member
since 04-11-2000
Posts 490
Just sitting at the computer


0 posted 05-08-2000 04:55 PM       View Profile for Effigy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Effigy

Days of blind sight.
Deaf to the light,
in the darkness of the sun.
Voices keep calling my name,
just forgotten seekers of the same.
Families poor and cold,
the elders drifting in
memories so old.

Bight eyes stare into my soul.
Red eyes of persecution,
haunting my nonexisting goal.

With myself,
the only one to blame
I cast down others
in hate's flame.

No one to reach out to,
there is no door to escape through.
Not an ounce of respect left,
not for you or myself.

Things never seem to go right,
too far gone, too deep in plight.
Nothing left to do,
no where else to go.

Where have I been?

Living on the tattered edges of trust,
just off the cliffs of belief.
I can't believe.
I don't believe in myself.
Don't believe in me.
You can't believe.

Trust nothing, fear everything
fear nothing, trust everything

And all of this occurs to me,
wraps around and surrounds me,
walking away in the twilight of day
with everything around
slowly fading to gray.



 There is something inside me
and I know it's good,
but understanding is misunderstood.



© Copyright 2000 Effigy - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


1 posted 05-08-2000 04:58 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Effigy~ Wow! this should go over in Dark Passions! Loved it! -SEA
forne_marin
Member
since 04-13-2004
Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina


2 posted 04-16-2004 12:05 AM       View Profile for forne_marin   Email forne_marin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit forne_marin's Home Page   View IP for forne_marin

"Deaf to the light", "just off the cliffs of belief". You have some very vivid images in this piece, but it's a bit immature. To me the entire piece was an excuse to slip in the lines "Trust nothing, fear everything/fear nothing, trust everything". It's an urge I can't understand in you. You come up with some great punches, and you insist on surrounding them with nonsensical psychobabble. You have a great punch. Throw the punch and leave out the psychobabble. There is nothing neccisarily wrong with a one or two line poem.
 
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