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Passions in Poetry

save me from myself (or whatever's dragging me down)

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 05-08-2000 02:06 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

Plink, plink.
The sound of tears?
The plucking of guitar strings?
The rain just starting or stopping?

I don't recognize the sound
Or the silence it brings.

One girl up on a cloud,
Contemplating ending her life.
Another out in Azusa,
Coming back into mine like a knife.

How do I stop the gentle flow
Of unnatural rhythms and verse and
Save myself from myself?

Whatever is dragging me down
Has a clawed grip that, each second,
Seems less like pain and more like breathing,
More like every second before the claw tore me apart.

Did I say the flow is gentle? It's not.
It's the pulse of spilling blood,
A cranberry stain around my head
Fallen backward against the floor again.

The claw wrote something in my back.
One girl said "You can't help me."
The other said "I don't want you."
Both rejecting love.
How very ladylike.

Primrose and poppies wilt and sop in
The mess they made of what I gave them
And what they gave me. Camellia petals
Broken free, ladyslipper crushed,
Bleeding hearts gush seeds,
Asters and irises outlining stars.
Ha -- let's see those flower bits
Just try to kiss away these scars.

Watch me disappear, I fear.
Watch me go further into myself.
There is nothing no one can do
And I might as well watch,
With a wealth of misbegotten jaded humor;
Claws and all.

© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 05-08-2000 02:48 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Normally I do not even try to play favorite lines with you---too many to count---but on a personal level--"just try to kiss away these scars..."   Ouch.  Mercy Master.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 05-08-2000 02:49 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

I don't recognize the sound
Or the silence it brings.

One girl up on a cloud,
Contemplating ending her life.
Another out in Azusa,
Coming back into mine like a knife.

How do I stop the gentle flow
Of unnatural rhythms and verse and
Save myself from myself?

Whatever is dragging me down
Has a clawed grip that, each second,
Seems less like pain and more like breathing,
-----------------
One girl said "You can't help me."
The other said "I don't want you."
Both rejecting love.
--------------------
Just try to kiss away these scars.

Watch me disappear, I fear.
Watch me go further into myself.
There is nothing no one can do
And I might as well watch,
-------------------

hey, you ok mike?

"Seems less like pain and more like breathing,"


yea...it feels like this sometimes...
when you hurt for so long...
it does just become second skin, dont it...

lots of powerful lines in this one bsq...
and lots to read in between them too...
its a bad habit of mine,
(ask Michael) *smile*
dont go too far inside your self...
I would miss ya...
take care, please.
jm/bs



 It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and you lose it all ...
And it's unnerving
How one move just puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell ...
I'm not sayin
That there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
And I'm not sayin
We ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let you get away from me.
~MB20~Leave


mete out
Member
since 02-16-2000
Posts 273
england


3 posted 05-08-2000 06:22 AM       View Profile for mete out   Email mete out   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mete out

***bsquirrel,
every poem i read of yours hits me harder thatn the last...
this one punched me slapped me and throew me to the floor..what a fantastic ride.
it must have hurt to write this but ...wow.
    


[This message has been edited by mete out (edited 05-08-2000).]
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


4 posted 05-08-2000 06:48 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Grateful are the poets who can unleash their feelings on paper before we become lost.  You have done this well bsquirrel ... I hope you can find some happiness amongst the thorns. Take care,

/Kit

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 05-08-2000).]
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


5 posted 05-08-2000 09:33 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

well I have that same "claw", so you know I understand your poetry....excellent writing and yes, I will echo kit...I hope your writing helps you heal...big hugs my friend
Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 04-05-2000
Posts 1829
North Carolina


6 posted 05-08-2000 09:53 AM       View Profile for Rosebud1229   Email Rosebud1229   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosebud1229

Bsquirrel, very touching and moving. I loved the lines -seens less like pain,and more like breathing and save myself from myself?
I can relate to how your feeling sometimes even when you just want away from it all a bad situation something seems to draw you in even deeper and you know if you would just let go things would get better. That is the truth though when we know sometimes we are our own worse enemy that brings us down. That claws away at the scar that already has run so deep. Sometimes I guess it's just human to want the pain even though it runs so deep. Loved it very much that you could open up so completely.

 
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


7 posted 05-08-2000 11:41 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks for all the kind words, guys (gals). I'll do my best to answer each one personally:

's',
You learn well, grasshoppah. But mercy is not a game we pay, it is a pain we pray. Yes, that made no sense. Ooohm. (gong sound)

Butterfly Slippers,
I'm feeling loads better tonight. Let's just say I was really ill-equipped to handle what went down last night, and I stupidly tried to say "Okay, there's nothing you can do; just let it out of your head" which thereby increased the pressure 10 times worse. I'm starting to learn, in my old age, that when something sad or tragic happens, you shouldn't run away from it, but embrace it and let it be part of you. And no, I didn't figure that out all by myself -- remmeber, I'm only 23.  

mete out,
I laughed when I read your description of how my work affects you. Didn't know I was such a boxer!   Seriously though, glad you enjoyed.

Kit,
Thanks for the good wishes. And I have, I have.

Corazon,
Thank you. (hug back) Here's to quick expedience of understanding how to handle your problems, too.

Rosebud,
Yeah, I definitely do open up completely -- which is good (for me) and sometimes bad (for the reader). But I don't apologize. In fact, I'll just smile.  

And what you say is very true. I think we like to cause our own pain so we don't have to deal with the pain that comes unexpectedly from some other source. The big problem with this plan, of course, is you're miserable all the time. Nuts to that! (ooo, squirrely pun)

Mike
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


8 posted 05-09-2000 01:29 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

glad you feeling better...ya worry me now and then *smile*...
and as for your lessons learned...
wise beyond your years my poet squirrel...
say goodnight butterfly slippers...
goodnight BSQ...sweet dreams
jm
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 11-17-2000
Posts 2476
east coast


9 posted 09-10-2002 12:31 AM       View Profile for Tiersdin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tiersdin

I love the strength in this poem, Mikey...

~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


10 posted 09-10-2002 04:52 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

JM, thanks you -- even though I just replied two years late!

Tiersdin, I'm glad these are only bones of mine, and not blood of heart.

Mike
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


11 posted 01-04-2003 02:27 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

Geez! There you go again!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


12 posted 01-08-2003 11:43 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Wow, I never realized before how much my reply to Tiersdin is a poem. Thanks, PS.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


13 posted 01-08-2003 07:51 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Godilovethispoem.
 
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