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Silent River, Flow
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Silent River, Flow |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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(He said it.) deep within, a power failure of my soul... (He did it.) did it once again instantly, I'm withered, old... (He broke it.) so it might stay the same (shattered) chards of love remain... (He's sorry.) as he always is, (abortion) Cupid's arrow missed. I heave no sob, whimper no weep, silent river, down my cheeks... So common now that I forget, and wonder why my face is wet... |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
serenity. . . the feelings of absolute loss and pain are very evident here. . . sometimes, we even wonder why we feel anything anymore. . . but you will survive my friend. . . it's all you can do. . . an excellent poem. . . --------------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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bobbycat Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233USA |
This makes my heart ache for you....I know this isn't much, but here's a {{HUG}} reserved just for you. Your words cry out in pain...the line "power failure of my soul" especially got me. Wonderful work. Bobbycat =^..^= |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
(He said it.) deep within, a power failure of my soul... (He did it.) did it once again instantly, I'm withered, old... (He broke it.) so it might stay the same (shattered) chards of love remain... (He's sorry.) as he always is, --------------- silent river, down my cheeks... So common now that I forget, and wonder why my face is wet... -------------- ***** tis for love we cry ... my sweet serenity. and for the losses... that always seems to follow. But the tears we cry, shall not fall in vain, their presence gives proof... that tho broken -- our hearts are not yet hollow. (sorry) its late and me muse has left me (literally)... but this poem will be with me for a long time...its perfect!! I do so love the way you write me twin. blowing kisses to the south *smile* jm It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and you lose it all ... And it's unnerving How one move just puts me by myself There you go just trusting someone else Now I know I put us both through hell ... I'm not sayin That there was nothing wrong I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me And I'm not sayin We ever had the right to hold on I just didn't wanna let you get away from me. ~MB20~Leave |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ So sorry to read the sadness in your 'river'. The title grabbed me ... it's got a magic pull. The tears may be silent ... but the flow is inevitable to reach the other shore. *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks to all for such sweet replies...Serenity is grateful... |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
I have to agree that the line "Power failure of my soul" made this poem for me  Good job ~X~ |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
-- my sweet serenity, what sorrow and extreme sadness this poem held. however it was still beautiful. you see in my opinion, tears aren't a waste of time...they truly do cleanse the soul. and with all good comes bad, it's inevitable. a wise woman once told me...in order to know love and happiness and to truly appreciate it...we must also have had to experience true loss and pain (she was right) i can feel the sadness in your poetic "voice" in this one. i pray that this passes soon for you...however i know all too well that taking time for one's self to really grieve is the most important thing one can do. in the meantime...try to focus on something good in your life...surely there is something there! take care...(you'll be in my thoughts) amy ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
This is terribly haunting, and very well written. The words "power failure of my soul" especially moved me, and the last stanza. Oh, that last stanza. ~ ~ ~ The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G. |
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danny Junior Member
since 2000-05-09
Posts 18 |
simply beautiful and regretfully sad i hope you reach a place where the pain lessens good luck for the future i hope you have brighter days to come |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh wow girl...I don't even know what to say, except that this just ached with emotion. I know that river you speak of...be strong. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Despite the sadness of this piece...this is excellent!! Perhaps one of the best I've seen from you and I like so many of your poems. "(He broke it.) so it might stay the same (shattered) chards of love remain" WOW!! what can I say, those words speak volumes. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Much grats to all---esecially hoot owl for the lovely compliment---wish I could blame this on hormones....sigh...but all is as it should be...another day tomorrow...Another GROUP HUG for the entire forum....thanks... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Serenity, I too think this is one of your best and you do have so many great ones! This is just excellent writing! Denise |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Beautiful poem feel the sorrow |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Such an igniting poem This left me almost breathless Your expressions are the purest of kind CocoBaci |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
such a beautiful one. sad romance. but beautiful poem. love it. |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
I am always at a loss of what to say when I read your poetry. It is so powerful and it hts me hard - this is really amazing. I feel the depth of pain in the words - and, again, I marvel at you, the poet. A |
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