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Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554


0 posted 2000-05-07 12:46 PM


~Eyes That Cant See~

If I was blind ... the way you seem to be...
then I would be spared--seeing all that's dying right in front of me.
Were there any witnesses ... were you notified...
did you even mourn -- when all my hope and desire died.
Your so oblivious...there are so many women living here inside of me.
Would you even realize...if I were to set any of them free.
Is it delusion that blinds ... every night lying here next to a stranger.
Somebody should explain...warn you of denials danger.
You wont give thanks--but you'll sure ask for favors.
When did love become a chore, when did it become such a labor.
Is there such a thing...as an innocent infidelity,
its only a distracting illusion...to comfort this dying reality.
What will it take for you to see--if I was bleeding out my eyes...
would you then understand...would you then hear my cries.

I wish I was blind...
the way that you seem to be,
Then I wouldn't have to watch...this love dying deep inside of me.

Janet Marie


**repost from Dark Passions


© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-05-07 01:19 PM


At first I thought this sounded familiar because I was living it--glad for the repost, tho...

Now, I'm curious---you'll have to send me a picture of this man...could it be possible we've got the same guy?

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2000-05-07 02:10 PM


I think this man exists for us all at some time...but not all men are like this, thank God..good poem....
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
3 posted 2000-05-07 04:58 PM


Jan--

I not only read the words you posted in this piece...i FELT them. Your expressions here of raw emotion shot through my entire being. i could feel the fustration and the longing. i am glad to see that you are working it all out on paper. As always you have my deepest admiration and support.

love ya much,
amy  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

lorilockheart
Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 206
Alabama
4 posted 2000-05-07 05:39 PM


Jan,
Now you're scaring me.  
Are we twins separated at birth?  You know, never knowing each other, but whose lives are remarkable similar.  Every time I see one of your poems, I jump at them.  It's remarkable.  Unbelievable.
Thanks for sharing these feelings.
Lori

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2000-05-07 05:47 PM


Wow Janet. . .some powerful emotions here. . . I can feel the sorrow and the despair. . .

Great poem, hope that things get better. . . and like deVine said, we're not all like this!!

---------------------------------------------------------



 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
6 posted 2000-05-07 06:20 PM


A sad poem JM -- don't let those other
women out by themselves
Can he be that blind?

Hugs from netswan

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

7 posted 2000-05-07 07:01 PM


Janet, this poem really touched me. I know a lot about blinded males. Good job.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
8 posted 2000-05-07 08:46 PM


Jan,
Powerful emotions...dying devotion
A love swept 'way by the ocean
The ocean of tears that you've cried
While the love inside you dies

All my love,
Jeffrey

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2000-05-07 09:28 PM


Heartwrenching Janet Marie ... I could hear your cries loudly through your pen.  If only a pair of glasses could open their eyes sometimes ... thank you for this powerful poem.

/Kit

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2000-05-07 09:32 PM


Janet Marie...
Oh, how sad and heartwrenching.  I do hope you are feeling better these days.  For your sake I hope he sees the light!!  
{{{HUGS}}}  
LW


 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
11 posted 2000-05-07 09:53 PM


J.M. I don't even have the words...just know that I know.
Twilight Tearstains
New Member
since 2000-05-07
Posts 8

12 posted 2000-05-07 10:15 PM


Janet, your words have moved me deeply.  I cannot express how beautiful, how incredibly sad this is...to have love die is so tragic.

 ~We are only truly lost when we've lost ourselves~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2000-05-07 10:23 PM


Janet this is incredible writing...very touching, so sad...I feel for you girl...I can only hope for bright sunshiny days in your future.  "I wish I was blind..then I wouldn't have to watch...this love dying deep inside of me."  And yet you would still feel the pain.  Come on girl don't get so attached to men that don't appreciate you...I must watch my heart also.  James
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

14 posted 2000-05-07 10:43 PM


You've employed an interesting perspective with this piece, Janet, and if is biographical in nature, I encourage you to keep writing, of course, but also to share your feelings with him, as best you can...though I suspect you've done a good bit of that already. You know I am an active proponent of expressive therapy, which includes writing, art, music, etc. but when dealing with issues involving another person, there is no end~all substitute for communication. (((you))) hugs tonight, my friend...

~ Claire

 Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Tia
Junior Member
since 2000-05-05
Posts 41
massachusetts
15 posted 2000-05-07 11:29 PM


beautiful.....just beautiful.... i can't begin to explain how your words touched me..i felt you pain in this poem.. keep writing more...

Tia


 I'd rather have someone hate me for who i am,than to have someone like me for who i'm pretending to be

kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
16 posted 2000-05-07 11:55 PM


Janet-This was most sad. Yes, some people are blind- I like the line
You wont give thanks--but you'll sure ask for favors. Some people are selfish too.
{{{hugs}}} for you.

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
17 posted 2000-05-08 12:56 PM


Oh Janet...Claire said it all.  I'll have you know, I sit here with big tears rolling down my cheeks now.  Your words rip right through me, as I lived this for nearly a year, and let me tell you, it was hell.  I wrote a poem about it a long time ago, and if I can find it, I will repost it here to share with you.  And about that "innocent infidelity" thing?  Well, I'd say, if you've made him aware of your pain, and he refuses to help you, then feel no guilt.  He had it coming.  Now that's probably the worst advice I've ever given, but no one understands this unless you've lived it.  That line of ,"...every night lying here next to a stranger..."  oh gawd....so many nights I'd lay on the very edge of my bed...clinging to the sheets....just wishing I could scream out and smack him a time or two!!  How do two people who supposedly love eachother, grow so far apart, and not even care that they do? Okay...I'll hush now, as I'm crying such big tears, I think I'm gonna drown here.  lol  Girl, I am here to talk, believe me.  This was painfully beautiful.  You are definately getting GOOD at expressing your heart.  Keep it coming!  Love you!  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

18 posted 2000-05-08 03:19 AM


to each of you who replied to this...
please know that I am so deeply touched by the amazing tenderness and understanding you share with me...
there are just too many awesome replies here to single out ....
for the advice, encouragement, hugs and tears...
I am left nearly speechless and the simple words thank you seem rather inadequate at the moment.
Im most touched and saddened by how many say they know this, live this, or did live it...
but like so many times before in here...
we are quiet comfort for each other.
It truly does help knowing there are others who understand...though it would be so nice for us to all know contentment instead...
BUT then what would we write about *smile*
thank you all so much...
love to ya too...
take care, JM

jeffery...TY for the sweet and lovely verse...a gift of poetry is my most fav thing.

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