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Open Poetry #7
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Random thoughts unedited and unrevised
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Random thoughts unedited and unrevised |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL 
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This is just a mess of ramblings flowing onto paper (er.... screen) wihtout thought to flow or rhyme. I'll probably go back and give it a name and make it rhyme and all that cool stuff... (bleh!)... but I once had someone tell me that they liked my stuff better before I did all that so I decided I'd see what you guys thought.  Of course lately I don't get many replies, but I do value the few I get, so tell me what you think. I personally think it kinda bites... just wanted to know if she was blowing smoke or if I've just got wierd taste.  I'll post the revised version later.P.S. Unedited, unrevised and UN-SPELLCHECKED! =) (Random thoughts unedited and unrevised) I used to bend and steatch and mold myself to fit in your beliefs You ran too far ahead and I couldn't keep up My arms stretched out but it was never fast enough I cought up to you while you rested and held on so tight You took comfort in my embrace while your friends rushed ahead They left you lonely and tired from your run to keep up with their crawl You never had to stretch but it was just a different fight Another morning comes and I'm just stretching again You left me in your dust and became a glimmer of light ahead You ran all morning to catch up to their crawls Just for the few moments you'd spend together before you rested again Standing strong where I always had, but stretching just trying to fit in I used to know myself before I was stretched out so thin I used to know myself before I decided you were better I used to believe in things like faith and trust until I snapped under the pressure Falling back to normal I finally gave up the fight Snapping back from you, you quickly became to faint to see I found myself sitting where I left him so many years ago Dark and lonely and shivering from the pain Deprived of the strength he used to call his own Bitter from the beauty of his youth I'd lost in my struggles Useless anger and rage were all he felt inside There was noone left to blame except me, his darker side I sat disgusted with myself for the shame I brought to him An innocent victim of the unrequited love I held onto so long Finally a calm came over us and we came to a compromise I'd find my faith and trust again and he'd not give them so freely Now we live together as one, the past is part of what makes "us" me There are scars on my skin from the distance it used to stretch between me and you Scars from the mold that used to pinch my skin still bring you back to mind I used to follow your lead, and fit into your mold, but now I'm "just me" My mind still wonders how close we would be, if you stopped running and became "just you"? --Dave "Don't let your character get camoflaged with your environment. Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors." --Rachel Joy Scott |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dave - All Rights Reserved | |||
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Hey Dave, -- nothing like a rambing poet. I write some of my best without a single revision ------JUST let it flow. I am glad you have molded into one -------it takes some growing up to do that -- and to realize you are you - a huge growth step in life. Loved the read. I think the posting is because there are so many people now, Dave. I doubt very much it is personal ------) From what I can tell by the conversations in here it was a lot smaller, but word spreads and more and more people will join these threads. For instance me -- I am barely a month old. Keep the faith, and most assuredly stay you -- I am always trying to meld the good and the demons inside of me into one, and darn if the "imps" don't escape from time to time ---) Teresa |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
For rambling thoughts Your words seem to flow This indeed was an enjoyable read. CocoBaci |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Standing strong where I always had, but stretching just trying to fit in I used to know myself before I was stretched out so thin I used to know myself before I decided you were better ----------------------- I found myself sitting where I left him so many years ago Dark and lonely and shivering from the pain Deprived of the strength he used to call his own --------------------- An innocent victim of the unrequited love I held onto so long Finally a calm came over us and we came to a compromise I'd find my faith and trust again and he'd not give them so freely Now we live together as one, the past is part of what makes "us" me There are scars on my skin from the distance it used to stretch between me and you -------------------- hey you....there are some really good lines and thoughts here... you definaltly need to organize them and work on this...it has the makings of a damn good cleansing, purging poem... and you know I definatly think "she" needs to be exorsised from under your skin. But this shows you are trying to learn from it all and through the soul seaching you will find your self again. Well, thats my lecture for the day *smile* thats my story and Im sticking to it  later dave-gator. jm. PS (check out the sig.) lol ROB RULES!!!! jm It's amazing How you make your face just like a wall How you take your heart and turn it off How I turn my head and you lose it all ... And it's unnerving How one move just puts me by myself There you go just trusting someone else Now I know I put us both through hell ... I'm not sayin That there was nothing wrong I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me And I'm not sayin We ever had the right to hold on I just didn't wanna let you get away from me. ~MB20~Leave |
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