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Passions in Poetry

But A Dream

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Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


0 posted 05-06-2000 12:24 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Christopher

But A Dream

who is this woman I see
in black and white fantasy tale
‘cross oceans deep
‘neath painted clouds
soaring through the gale
of a winter lonely after
tides and troubles
spawned in sorrow
now drowned in hope
drenched in laughter
coming on the morrow
through
laughter’s currents coursing
as a butterfly in the sky
with the wingspan of a dove
who journeys earthen’s eye
gazing lovingly from above
o’er this nymph-like silhouette
floating silent in my sleep
dancing avian pirouettes
whils’t I watch on and I weep
with wondermental sighs
at her form cast out of smiles
and all the ever-while
my mind inside me cries
as in incremental miles
her visage fades and dies
and I greet the moon’s exile
with heavy heart’s denial
for after all
she was but a dream


© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


1 posted 05-06-2000 01:03 AM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry


Christopher*
This is very beautiful....but now let me tell you why I think so...

spawned in sorrow
now drowned in hope


The vision is painted of a woman that has been hurt in her past and now has found happiness in coming to you, someone to rescue, and someone for you to show all the beauty that life has to offer and she to show you.

as a butterfly in the sky
with the wingspan of a dove


You've added an angelic quality implying that she is just a dream making her even more desireable....and I for one am partial to the butterfly line anyway  

whils’t I watch on and I weep
with wondermental sighs


This I was unsure, weeping due to the pain of not reaching her or weeping due to the breath taking beauty that she beholds, but none the less the imagery is awesome here.

my mind inside me cries
as in incremental miles
her visage fades and dies


The torment of loosing her is felt deeply within your words, a powerful moment in this piece...the crucial turning point.

for after all
she was but a dream


The ending hit me two ways...I read this a few times over....first of all the slap in the face at the end...the final blow that she was an image...a very powerful one but an image none the less.  The second way I took this was that you were telling your self that there was no doubt that she would go because she was just a dream, as though you weren't allowing the dream to come true.

In short....lol...this was magnificent and I loved every line.
**Sweet Dreams**(for one day they will come true)



 Hold me for yesterday
Kiss me for tomorrow
But love me for today.

devina
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


2 posted 05-06-2000 02:27 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

JUST a dream eh?? Sounds like Fate waiting to happen m'friend... Now don't let Michael give you too much to drink this weekend...or should I say, don't let him drink too much?? LMAO....You too have fun for me too, will ya?? Lovely poem too btw...

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Temptress
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
Posts 7276
Mobile, AL


3 posted 05-06-2000 04:01 AM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Your talent is my inspiration.   How do you do that so beautifully?


 Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau"
CocoBaci
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since 05-06-2000
Posts 3084


4 posted 05-06-2000 04:31 AM       View Profile for CocoBaci   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CocoBaci

I silently sigh reading your eloquent words tonite whispering to me at this late hour of wonderous dreams from the wings of your mind that you have shared with me tonite.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


5 posted 05-06-2000 05:21 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Ah...now I know where all your words go...

Like this emotional side of you...another dreamy poem from you...Do you write these in your sleep?

Okay...Okay...I'll shut up...I hear I talk too much...lolol...

but seriously, this is more than lovely...
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


6 posted 05-06-2000 05:24 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Christopher

Brilliant etchwork of a dream.....
Liked each bit of this one.

Regards,
Sudhir

 In any moment of decision,
The best thing you can do is the right thing,
The next-best thing is the wrong thing,
And the worst thing you can do is nothing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


7 posted 05-06-2000 07:48 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

The words tumbled upon themselves and the imagery burst out of the poem so eloquently, my friend. Truly lovely.  
Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


8 posted 05-06-2000 08:00 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

I love your style Christopher!  The words flowed effortlessly from one line to the next with such romance and charm.  Beautiful!

/Kit
Marilyn
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since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


9 posted 05-06-2000 09:08 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Ahh the yearning of a dream and the disapointment of waking to find that was all it was. Don't discard the dream so fast my friend. They can be a sign of what is coming or they can make us happy and peaceful for the time we sleep. Enjoy them my friend.  

Wonderfully written as always.  


 When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face...

William Butler Yeats
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


10 posted 05-06-2000 10:44 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Christopher~
This is an elegantly longing piece
of your heart.

'whils’t I watch on and I weep
with wondermental sighs'

What a lovely word is 'wondermental' ...
poetically creative.

I get a feeling of deja vu ... she is
someone you knew and wish you had kept
but now your sorrow lies in knowing she
'flies' for someone else.  
She is a recurring dream, is she not?
Beautifully elusive, my friend.
Love your sentimentality.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Irie
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State


11 posted 05-06-2000 10:56 AM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

What a dream you have writen here Chris.
This was great...of course I expect nothing less
from you, (no pressure)   hehe
Keep it up!

~S
Parker
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since 01-06-2000
Posts 3135
... the old black rum


12 posted 05-06-2000 11:38 AM       View Profile for Parker   Email Parker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Parker's Home Page   View IP for Parker

I'm not a good poetry critic, so my explainations will be simple. I really like the style you use here. All softened frasings to give it that dream quality.  
"who is this woman I see
in black and white fantasy tale"
Very good to weave black and white into it, like they say that thats how we dream...
I really like how you describe waking from it
"her visage fades and dies
and I greet the moon’s exile"
everything else flow so softly.
Very nice.

Parker

A Romantic Heart
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since 09-03-99
Posts 5497
Forever In Your Heart


13 posted 05-06-2000 12:24 PM       View Profile for A Romantic Heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Romantic Heart

Christopher....As poets we dream..and express them to others through our poetry, you have expressed yourself well, I love the detail of words you chose...this was very romantic!

My favorite lines...with the wingspan of a dove
who journeys earthen’s eye
gazing lovingly from above
o’er this nymph-like silhouette
floating silent in my sleep
dancing avian pirouettes
whils’t I watch on and I weep
with wondermental sighs
at her form cast out of smiles
Michael
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Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


14 posted 05-06-2000 05:47 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

I really like this style, Chris.  And fascinating imagery to boot.  Took me many places this one did, my friend.


Michael
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


15 posted 05-08-2000 02:56 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

I want to thakn everyone for replying so kindly to this poem. I know it's not up there with the "best of," but then again, they don't all have to be, do they!  
Kellsue
Member
since 05-06-2000
Posts 221
Waukesha, WI USA


16 posted 05-09-2000 09:38 PM       View Profile for Kellsue   Email Kellsue   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kellsue

Lovely poem... you are a gifted writer.

~Kellsue




 Reflect upon your present blessings-of which every man has many-not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. ~Charles Dickens

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. ~Winston Churchill

WhiteNite
Member
since 04-09-2000
Posts 249
Montgomery, AL


17 posted 05-09-2000 11:27 PM       View Profile for WhiteNite   Email WhiteNite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhiteNite's Home Page   View IP for WhiteNite

Well... *I* thought it was up there with the "best of" but my opinion only matters to me. =)  Awesome poetry here.  Thanks.

 "Don't let your character get camoflaged with your environment.
Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors." --Rachel Joy Scott


Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


18 posted 05-10-2000 12:46 AM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

The first time I read this, I must admit I wasn't too impressed (you know this).

But on consideration, and on rereading (several times), I feel as though I must serve myself up a slice of humble pie and admit that the fault may have lain not with the writing, but with the reading ...

I cannot imagine what else it could be, since I cannot seem to find those faults, now, that seemed so glaringly obvious to me before -- LOL. Though 'tis not quite perfection, I contest that this is a masterpiece of flow ... the eye and mind are swept along the page, to a wistful sigh endwise ...

Well done' my friend, and I apologize for my previous haste.  

--Me


 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 04-05-2000
Posts 1829
North Carolina


19 posted 05-10-2000 10:44 AM       View Profile for Rosebud1229   Email Rosebud1229   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rosebud1229

Christopher this was a very beautiful poem, showed lots of love and feeling attached to it. Sounds to me like your fantasy woman,
Who is this woman I see, maybe in time your dreams will become reality. I'm sure dreams are sometimes a deeper meaning of our unconsciousness. Sometimes I think we want something that seems so far away and so hard to attain it becomes a fantasy, this is what leads to such beautiful and inspring poetry. Who is this woman you see, she's your lover, she's your friend  she's your angel, she can laugh she can cry. She can take you to new worlds. Your dreams whether real or fantasy are yours and  a part of you. But a dream is so heavenly to me, as if your lover is connected to you at all times no matter how far apart. Thanks for this it was very lovely.

 
 
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