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a cake of soap
| Open Poetry #7 |
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a cake of soap |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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endless wisps of fantasies like whips across my knees. kneeling in my own blood, wondering if i should leave. candied witch fades away. lost compassion stays. spindly twig of reason snapped by a new season. stubs of crumbed eraser. i can't bear to face her. raveled threads unravel red, lost in shadow creases. finding reflections spooning out from dusty mirror pieces. soaped up first, then drained away. backward dove against my skin. i wonder again if i should stay. i wonder again again. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
endless wisps of fantasies like whips across my knees. kneeling in my own blood, wondering if i should leave. spindly twig of reason snapped by a new season. stubs of crumbed eraser. i can't bear to face her. raveled threads unravel red, lost in shadow creases. --------------- hey you... ya know what...I dont have a clue what this poem is about... but the lines in it and the word choices along with the imagery and rhyme make it so interesting and cool to read... that it doesnt seem to matter... but I always love a walk thru that poetic mind of yours  say good night butterlfy slippers... *smile* later BSQ. jm |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
bsquirrel, I like this one. I can see that eternal question -- should I stay or should I leave? Not always easy to answer is it? Love the poem, dear!  ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow - this is great!! Love the melodic tone it has... well done K |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
So glad to see your name again as I scrolled--and as always, after reading, I wonder twice--and I know that I can say that without you taking it wrong---you are the master of pain (hope that doesn't stick)---have been reading faithfully, Mike, stay true to your art...'tis growin' pains y'know. (and if you would e me once in awhile I wouldn't be this long-winded in the forum...) |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I'm slow at replying these days. JM, Glad you liked it. But you didn't understand it? That opens my eyes a little -- it reminds me how people have different perceptions and levels of understanding. Thanks for that reminder. Thanks, TerryW. I had a lot of fun writing it, believe it or not. I guess I'm still haunted by the past -- but when the resulting writing turns out this good, who cares? It gives me joy, anyway.Severn, Thank you also. The hardest part was coming up with the title -- it would be easy to overdramatize. s, If you think THAT response is long-winded, pray I don't reply to your next poem. And didn't mean to scare ya -- I'm still here. And yeah, there's pain, but there's also -- I think so, anyway -- a sort of humor to the proceedings. Maybe I just have a really strange sense of humor (like you didn't know that anyway ) Like I told Severn, I do my best not to overdramatize. I attach feelings and -- ugh -- "symbolism" to objects and basic actions. I don't go for the "The tears/oh, the tears, they're damnable pouring greater than that of all the heavens combined!/I took out the knife and made a smile on my arm in bloody red blood!" (now that's funny)Mike |
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