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Passions in Poetry

a cake of soap

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 05-04-2000 11:19 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

endless wisps of fantasies
like whips across my knees.

kneeling in my own blood,
wondering if i should leave.

candied witch fades away.
lost compassion stays.

spindly twig of reason
snapped by a new season.

stubs of crumbed eraser.
i can't bear to face her.

raveled threads unravel red,
lost in shadow creases.

finding reflections spooning out
from dusty mirror pieces.

soaped up first, then drained away.
backward dove against my skin.

i wonder again if i should stay.
i wonder again again.

© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 05-05-2000 01:14 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

endless wisps of fantasies
like whips across my knees.

kneeling in my own blood,
wondering if i should leave.

spindly twig of reason
snapped by a new season.

stubs of crumbed eraser.
i can't bear to face her.

raveled threads unravel red,
lost in shadow creases.
---------------

hey you...
ya know what...I dont have a clue
what this poem is about...
but the lines in it and the word choices along with the imagery and rhyme
make it so interesting and cool to read...
that it doesnt seem to matter...
but I always love a walk thru that
poetic mind of yours  
say good night butterlfy slippers...
*smile*
later BSQ.
jm
TerryW
Senior Member
since 03-23-2000
Posts 787
Louisville, Mississippi, USA


2 posted 05-05-2000 02:07 AM       View Profile for TerryW   Email TerryW   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit TerryW's Home Page   View IP for TerryW

bsquirrel,
     I like this one.  I can see that eternal question -- should I stay or should I leave?   Not always easy to answer is it?

Love the poem, dear!



 ~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


3 posted 05-05-2000 03:46 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Wow - this is great!!

Love the melodic tone it has...

well done

K
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


4 posted 05-05-2000 04:21 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

So glad to see your name again as I scrolled--and as always, after reading, I wonder twice--and I know that I can say that without you taking it wrong---you are the master of pain (hope that doesn't stick)---have been reading faithfully, Mike, stay true to your art...'tis growin' pains y'know.
(and if you would e me once in awhile I wouldn't be this long-winded in the forum...)
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


5 posted 05-06-2000 01:14 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I'm slow at replying these days.  

JM,
Glad you liked it. But you didn't understand it? That opens my eyes a little -- it reminds me how people have different perceptions and levels of understanding. Thanks for that reminder.

Thanks, TerryW. I had a lot of fun writing it, believe it or not. I guess I'm still haunted by the past -- but when the resulting writing turns out this good, who cares?   It gives me joy, anyway.

Severn,
Thank you also. The hardest part was coming up with the title -- it would be easy to overdramatize.

s,
If you think THAT response is long-winded, pray I don't reply to your next poem.   And didn't mean to scare ya -- I'm still here. And yeah, there's pain, but there's also -- I think so, anyway -- a sort of humor to the proceedings. Maybe I just have a really strange sense of humor (like you didn't know that anyway   ) Like I told Severn, I do my best not to overdramatize. I attach feelings and -- ugh -- "symbolism" to objects and basic actions. I don't go for the "The tears/oh, the tears, they're damnable pouring greater than that of all the heavens combined!/I took out the knife and made a smile on my arm in bloody red blood!" (now that's funny)

Mike
 
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