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Passions in Poetry

The point of wit

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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


0 posted 05-04-2000 01:25 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Seymour Tabin

           The point of wit

The dust kicks up around my shoes,
In tempo with my walking blues.
I saunter down a lonesome road.
Where wagon tracks dug deep their load.

The sky is mottled grey on grey,
The wind that blows have naught to say.
The crows that glean are lean and mean.
The fields are bare and nothing green.

I feel a load upon my back,
The weary feels just like a pack.
And with my mind in ennui.
My body feels in full agree.

No latitude my attitude.
I know it is an ugly mood.
I know damn well she's gone a year
And she is there and I am here.

The picket fence on which I sit,
Are driving points into my wit.

© Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


1 posted 05-04-2000 01:29 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Another great one from you Seymour. How well you describe the pinch of sadness in your heart...

Regards,
Sudhir

 In any moment of decision,
The best thing you can do is the right thing,
The next-best thing is the wrong thing,
And the worst thing you can do is nothing.
- Theodore Roosevelt


[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 05-04-2000).]
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


2 posted 05-04-2000 01:48 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

ahhh but such sharp wit it tis..*S*
love the cadence and rythmn in this one Sy...
and ya wrote my mood today quite well...
walking down that road with ya I do believe.
great words as always
jm
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 05-04-2000 01:55 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

"The dust kicks up around my shoes,
In tempo with my walking blues.
I saunter down a lonesome road.
Where wagon tracks dug deep their load.

The sky is mottled grey on grey,
The wind that blows have naught to say.
The crows that glean are lean and mean.
The fields are bare and nothing green."

Although we are not in the same state...
this piece for Kansans permeates...

and for the picket fence on which you sit,
would do you well to get off, you silly twit!

[Couldn't help it...again, well done, Dear Sy!]
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


4 posted 05-04-2000 03:17 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

You have so clearly written a mood here, Sy...I only hope tomorrow will look better!  Hugs!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


5 posted 05-04-2000 03:31 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

This describes that lonesome road so well...I have experienced a similar experience and I finally got tired of all that dust...now I am trying to get onto that other path...I start out with the thoughts in my imagination...remember that song zip a de do da zip a dee day...my..my..my what a wonderful day...plenty of sunshine coming my way..zip a dee do da...zip a dee day...I feel better and my friends enjoy being around me more.   James
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


6 posted 05-04-2000 07:14 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Seymour this is a great rhythmetic poem.
Enjoyed the read.
Can't sit too long on the fence, might
be missing something really cool in life --)

netswan
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


7 posted 05-04-2000 07:45 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

You portrayed your black mood here so perfectly, with wonderful images.

Corinne
A.C.Turner
Member
since 04-30-2000
Posts 89
Reading, Pa.Home of Bardfest


8 posted 05-04-2000 08:07 PM       View Profile for A.C.Turner   Email A.C.Turner   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A.C.Turner

This has style! Love the imagery too. ACT.
WhiteNite
Member
since 04-09-2000
Posts 249
Montgomery, AL


9 posted 05-04-2000 09:01 PM       View Profile for WhiteNite   Email WhiteNite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhiteNite's Home Page   View IP for WhiteNite

To be honest, I'm not sure I get the message here... but I do like the way it flows. =)  Very nicely written.

 "Don't let your character get camoflaged with your environment.
Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors." --Rachel Joy Scott


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


10 posted 05-04-2000 09:43 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Seymour~
You gentle sweetheart.
Kind of reminds me of the clown
with his smile on upside down.
*Hugs*
I enjoy you.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


11 posted 05-04-2000 11:33 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Sudhir, Thank you so much.

Janet, Sweet comment, thank you.

Sunshine, Wonderful comment. *L*

Martie, Your simple hug makes it better. *L*

James, Zip a dee do da helps.

Networth, Your absolutely right.

Corinne, Nice commemt thank you.

A.C. Turner, Thank you much.

White Nite, Thanks for the nicely written.

Marge, Wonderful comment, thank you. *L*
 
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