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Open Poetry #7
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The point of wit
| Open Poetry #7 |
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The point of wit |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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The point of wit The dust kicks up around my shoes, In tempo with my walking blues. I saunter down a lonesome road. Where wagon tracks dug deep their load. The sky is mottled grey on grey, The wind that blows have naught to say. The crows that glean are lean and mean. The fields are bare and nothing green. I feel a load upon my back, The weary feels just like a pack. And with my mind in ennui. My body feels in full agree. No latitude my attitude. I know it is an ugly mood. I know damn well she's gone a year And she is there and I am here. The picket fence on which I sit, Are driving points into my wit. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Another great one from you Seymour. How well you describe the pinch of sadness in your heart... Regards, Sudhir< !signature--> In any moment of decision, The best thing you can do is the right thing, The next-best thing is the wrong thing, And the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 05-04-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
ahhh but such sharp wit it tis..*S* love the cadence and rythmn in this one Sy... and ya wrote my mood today quite well... walking down that road with ya I do believe. great words as always jm |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
"The dust kicks up around my shoes, In tempo with my walking blues. I saunter down a lonesome road. Where wagon tracks dug deep their load. The sky is mottled grey on grey, The wind that blows have naught to say. The crows that glean are lean and mean. The fields are bare and nothing green." Although we are not in the same state... this piece for Kansans permeates... and for the picket fence on which you sit, would do you well to get off, you silly twit! [Couldn't help it...again, well done, Dear Sy!] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
You have so clearly written a mood here, Sy...I only hope tomorrow will look better! Hugs! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This describes that lonesome road so well...I have experienced a similar experience and I finally got tired of all that dust...now I am trying to get onto that other path...I start out with the thoughts in my imagination...remember that song zip a de do da zip a dee day...my..my..my what a wonderful day...plenty of sunshine coming my way..zip a dee do da...zip a dee day...I feel better and my friends enjoy being around me more. James |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Seymour this is a great rhythmetic poem. Enjoyed the read. Can't sit too long on the fence, might be missing something really cool in life --) netswan |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
You portrayed your black mood here so perfectly, with wonderful images. Corinne |
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A.C.Turner Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 83Reading, Pa.Home of Bardfest |
This has style! Love the imagery too. ACT. |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL |
To be honest, I'm not sure I get the message here... but I do like the way it flows. =) Very nicely written. "Don't let your character get camoflaged with your environment. Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors." --Rachel Joy Scott |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Seymour~ You gentle sweetheart. Kind of reminds me of the clown with his smile on upside down. *Hugs* I enjoy you. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sudhir, Thank you so much. Janet, Sweet comment, thank you. Sunshine, Wonderful comment. *L* Martie, Your simple hug makes it better. *L* James, Zip a dee do da helps. Networth, Your absolutely right. Corinne, Nice commemt thank you. A.C. Turner, Thank you much. White Nite, Thanks for the nicely written. Marge, Wonderful comment, thank you. *L* |
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