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Passions in Poetry

Who hurts you?

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JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


0 posted 05-03-2000 05:25 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for JamesMichael

I wrote this in 1995...I was hurt because I was falling in Love with a woman that was not falling in Love with me...she was using me...we were using each other. James 2000 edited this.

Who hurts you?

It's not people who Love you that hurt you.
It's people that you Love who hurt you.
Sometimes they leave you...
and you're left alone wondering what to do.
Sometimes they bring you to tears...
and cause your heart to suffer every doubt and fear.
An addiction can take them from you.
Is it more valuable in their mind than you?        Yes...and that hurts too.
I'd sure like to know how alcohol...drugs...or sex here and there
can be more important than a friendship...a relationship...and a love affair.
How can I be a lover to someone who's true lover
is alcohol and drugs and sexual pleasure.
Why must I fall in Love with someone who's life seems devoted to hurting me beyond all measure.

Jameslee@January1995


© Copyright 2000 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved
daft
Junior Member
since 05-02-2000
Posts 16


1 posted 05-03-2000 05:32 PM       View Profile for daft   Email daft   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for daft

It's a sad thing. I thought about this one & nothing seems to have changed. There are still many people which are the way that you explained.
Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


2 posted 05-03-2000 05:35 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

Everyone I think James, has been fooled into this sitaution at one time or other.  It is sad to offer someone so much when they had never the intention to offer it back. The worst part is when we think you can help them change.

Marina
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


3 posted 05-03-2000 07:38 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I think we are only hurt by those that we love the most....this is a very good description of your pain.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


4 posted 05-04-2000 03:46 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Thank you daft, Marina, and Poet Devine for reading and your wonderful comments.  Yes the worst part is that we think we can help them change...and they only want someone to rescue them over and over again...but something in side of us compels us to participate...almost like I need that experience as much as they do..Only the ones who are in love would stick around to be abused...foolishly I might add...all the others would have said goodbye long ago.  James
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


5 posted 05-04-2000 06:07 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

It always hurts when you love someone, and they love something that hurts you. I hope writing this helped you.

 "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


6 posted 05-04-2000 06:47 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

This is a lovely poem and so sad.

Yes, people who you love do hurt you.
Drugs, alcohol, loose sex morals and so
many things -- even cut downs, put downs,
and things that hurt you to the core.

But, the bright side is -- once you realize
that when a person has an addiction --
it is not that they don't still love you,
they are so involved in their own problems
and their addictions and no one can help
them stop except themselves.

So, the real bright side is that you can
learn about yourself and find out why
you get attracted to those that are "helplessly devoted to their addictions"

Being a co-dependent does not have to be.
choosing these types to love does not have
to be ---

In families, when you have them ---we love
with "tough love" and if they can't accept
that and get help -- we have to let them
go, for our own self preservation -- and
we learn to find healthy individuals
to give our hearts to so that our love is
returned ----

This poem is from the heart that bleeds.
And, from now on, needs no longer to bleed
over --- trying to make an addicted person
love you -----IT can't be  -- until they
get help they love only what they NEED.
So never take it personally!

Hugs from netswan
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA


7 posted 05-04-2000 07:01 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

James,
This is very touching.  So sad to be hurt by those we love the most.  Of course, watching them hurt themselves is just as bad.  Glad this was not recent.  Great writing!  


 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


8 posted 05-05-2000 04:20 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

James,
I am moved...
Nice but sad flow of thoughts...

Regards, Sudhir

 In any moment of decision,
The best thing you can do is the right thing,
The next-best thing is the wrong thing,
And the worst thing you can do is nothing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


9 posted 05-05-2000 07:34 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Thank you Love Bug, Netswan, Lone Wolf, and Sudhir for your very nice remarks.
Writing about the pain I have experienced in my life helps me to understand my part in the situation..I believe that knowledge, wisdom, and understanding can improve my position in life.
It seems that I am attracted to women that don't quite have their acts together..and usually it is a sexual attraction.  I am trying to step back and let things happen in my relationship instead of trying to control them and manipulate them...I am having some success...I feel more comfortable stepping back.
I agree about watching them hurt themselves is hard to bear..I used to feel liked I should rescue them...but I am changing..I don't want to rescue them.   Thanks to you all for understanding.   James
monique
Member
since 02-03-2000
Posts 377
Louisiana


10 posted 05-05-2000 07:51 PM       View Profile for monique   Email monique   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for monique

You describe very well a situation I am in right now
and it is so hard to let go


monique
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


11 posted 05-07-2000 03:28 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

I know what you mean Monique...it has taken me a year to let go...and I still am letting go...I found there were stages..in the beginning it was almost impossible..emotionally and mentally..later it was something I knew that I must do...I went thru an anger stage...and now the final act has begun....all in all a process that is very stressful and yet a growning experience.   James
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


12 posted 05-07-2000 03:41 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

It is so hard to watch those in such situations too James.  Although not a victim myself, I watched helplessly as my sister was drawn over and over to the same type. I wrote many a poem for her ... hoping she'd someday see that she was worthy of better.

"Be true to yourself, and demand the best for yourself   For only through lessons learned, can we create our own happiness"  

I'm grateful that she's now found a wonderful man and broken the spell.  Thank you for a lovely and thought provoking poem.

/Kit
Aimster
Member Elite
since 02-19-2000
Posts 4367
Charlotte, NC


13 posted 05-07-2000 05:04 PM       View Profile for Aimster   Email Aimster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aimster

--James

As always you write with such direct honesty and with a lovely style. this piece here spoke volumes..though written five years ago, its meaning and message are none-the-less quite POWERFUL still. I am sorry that you had to endure this kind of hurt and pain...but I think we all do at one time or another in our lives. Its very hard to fall in love with someone who doesn't love you and isn't willing to give you their heart. Especially when you have already given them yours. And it sounds like the person you speak of in this piece...was on a course for self-destruction. I think it is best that you didn't get wrapped up in their life...just my opinion. At any rate...i wish you a new love who will love you as equally much as you love them. Take care and best of luck to you!

Amy  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~
Tuck
Junior Member
since 04-29-2000
Posts 27


14 posted 05-07-2000 08:18 PM       View Profile for Tuck   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tuck

what a beautiful poem....on such a sad subject....i agree with who said that who we love the most hurts us the most...hope things have worked themselves out...they always seem to...
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


15 posted 05-08-2000 03:50 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Thank you Kit, Amy, and Tuck for taking the time to read and comment on my writiing.  Kit that is a wonderful message about your sister.  It takes strength and courage to let go and do whats right.  Thanks Amy for your concern and thoughts.  I am learning about mutual attractions right now...I am backing away from women that make me do all the work...if they are interested in me they need to let me know.   James
PericolosoAmore
Junior Member
since 04-14-2000
Posts 31


16 posted 05-08-2000 04:28 PM       View Profile for PericolosoAmore   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PericolosoAmore

I hear you on this one. I know what it's like to be i your position.
great poem.
P.A.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


17 posted 05-10-2000 02:24 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Thank you Amore I appreciate your response.  James
 
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