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Open Poetry #7
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Throwing Rocks
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Throwing Rocks |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief 
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The sun set, casting an orange red glow over the land, the day rocks fell from the sky. People below me taunt and spit on me. It's not their fault. A trail of blood runs across my mouth on its way down from my head. Thorns. Glass and bone are thrown, from crowds hurling insults. They know no better. My muscles aching, streching and ripping. Splinters dig deep into the broken skin on my back. Some where off to my side people are bidding for my clothes. Who will wear them home? May they cover up their ignorance. Pain in my rists is unbelievable. The sound of cracking bones, echoes in my ears. More skin tares and rips, blood soakes the ground. The people cheer. DEATH! Father why? Then with one last look through these eyes, I no longer feel the rocks. Father I'm coming home! < !signature--> There is something inside me and I know it's good, but understanding is misunderstood. [This message has been edited by Effigy (edited 05-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sKiTtLeS Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 113wisconsin, u.s.a. |
Very interesting post, Effigy. I wasn't really expecting to see something like this. Nice use of detail, very graphic. sKiTtLeS~ |
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A.C.Turner Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 83Reading, Pa.Home of Bardfest |
Interesting. Surreal yet vivid imagery. Must read this again as I'm sure there's a hidden message in there. Peace. ACT. |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Effigy, Wonderfully done! Very vivid imagery, and powerful words for a very powerful emotion. You captured this one exquisitely! ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
thanks, I'm glad that you all enjoyed it. There is something inside me and I know it's good, but understanding is misunderstood. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Hi, You know the best thing about the story of the crucixion? They didn't have to nail him to that cross, He would have hung there willingly without any restraints. Great imagery in this piece...btw All my love, Jeffrey I lie awake in a world filled with dreams, but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I really enjoyed this...it had a 'modern' feel to it....  |
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forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
Considering the now famous (infamous?) "The Passion of the Christ", this poem is very topical. You leave the reader asking, "Is this Jesus I'm hearing, or is the persona merely feeling martyred?" I'm not much for religious poetry, but it's a powerful piece regardless. Technically, I only have one comment: You need do decide what your capitalization rule is for your poem. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to which lines are and are not capitalized. My preference is to go with how you set up the beginning of the poem. If the line in the poem starts at the margin, it's capitalized. If it does not need to be capitalized, or if it IS not capitalized, you should indent it just a beat or two, like you have done at the beginning. Just my $.03 |
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