How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #7 Archive
 Don't Tell Anyone
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Don't Tell Anyone

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


0 posted 05-02-2000 08:47 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie


Donít Tell Anyone

You have never known me
she said,
as she put her hands into
her tousled mess of hair,
like the curled and misplaced jungle
where she lived, had lived
with this stranger who saw straight lines
when what she saw was curve.

To go, needed a place, he said,
and his blue eyes matched his blue shirt,
and a reasonable because,
her, just because
was to him taking a dirt road
when you had a highway.

So, how had they lived
through two children and his drugs
and her CREATIVE EXPRESSION, for years,
when to not make war was like making love
without touching, but with the same afterglow.

We never fight in front of the children, she said,

Donít lay our garbage
at the barbecue of our neighbor, he said,

and then confidentially she told someone
they hadnít made love in six years
but he said he gave her foot massages
and touched her delicate there
between the toes where he could not help
but yearn for the shoe salesman he used to be
in his fatherís shoe store
looking at the legs and up the dresses
of so many friendly feet,
before, when he was young.

And she wishes to express herself,
she is an artist, a creator,
cannot live this work ethic,
must be free and cannot with children
still too sensitive to understand
how they could not live like this.

And the children listen behind the sigh
and the rolled eyes of not listening
and see her skin recoil from his touch
and his steady upturned pain
and they wonder why they cannot say
that it would be better not to wait
because right nowÖ really stinks!



© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 05-02-2000 08:54 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Wow! This is dynamite, Martie! Very powerful in your soft, graceful way! I'm sure many people live lives of quiet desperation like this. Very well done!

Denise
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


2 posted 05-02-2000 11:59 PM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Ah, the tiptoes of eggshells ---

Hard choices -----I know too many who
stayed married because of the kids --
when  a relationship like that does not
show them what a loving deserving relationship they can grow up to have.

Lovely poem -- well portrayed. -- I say,
get rid of the eggshells in life and LIVE

netswan
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


3 posted 05-03-2000 10:06 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Denise--thanks so much for the dynamite...You're the best!

netswan--eggshells--yes, I guess that is how it would feel---I say LIVE, too!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


4 posted 05-03-2000 10:23 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Martie,
  There is enough here to write a novel. You did it backwards. You condensed a novel into a poem. An extaordinary accompishment.
And a novel-poem on eggshells, at that.
Loved it
Liz
ESP
Member Elite
since 01-25-2000
Posts 2574
Floating gently on a cloud....


5 posted 05-03-2000 12:26 PM       View Profile for ESP   Email ESP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ESP

Wow. You describe the torment of the "eggshellrelationships" so exquisitely. Wow.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."
Beki
Senior Member
since 09-15-99
Posts 1615
Newport Beach, CA, USA


6 posted 05-03-2000 12:35 PM       View Profile for Beki   Email Beki   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Beki

VERY powerful.....and too close to home. I am divorced now 3 years after two years of separation, 20 years of marriage. My kids all say we should hav e gotten divorced long ago, would have been better for them then trying to hold the family together as I did...this poem speaks volumes! Thanks for sharing.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


7 posted 05-03-2000 12:35 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Your perspective is superbly shared, Martie...every time. Loved this!

~ Claire
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


8 posted 05-03-2000 07:16 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

oh my gosh, this catches in my throat and fills my eyes with tears, it is so real, wow...I just have no words...this touched me deeply martie....wow
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


9 posted 05-03-2000 08:36 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Liz--someone said once that you should be able to make a short story into a poem and visa versa, I just can't remember who it was.  I'm glad you liked this.

Lizzie--thanks so much for the wow.

Beki--I know there are alot of families like this...I know one of them.  I'm sorry that this hit so close to home.

Claire--you are the queen of wonderful replies.

Corazon--I'm so glad this poem touched you.  Thank you.
Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


10 posted 05-03-2000 08:49 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Martie,
WOW!! is an understatement! This is a powerfully expressive piece. Too many children growing up in this kind of unloving environment. Thank you for sharing this.

All my love,
Jeffrey

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


11 posted 05-03-2000 10:25 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Jeffrey, thank you so much for understanding and appreciating this effort.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


12 posted 05-03-2000 10:32 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

I also appreciate your effort, Martie, in everything you write because you immerse yourself in your words and make each poem part of you......a very admirable trait.
lucky
Senior Member
since 01-17-2000
Posts 1648
Idaho


13 posted 05-04-2000 12:36 AM       View Profile for lucky   Email lucky   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lucky

Kind of reminds me of the 'ol egg throwing contest... I always lost... here's widdershins back at ya kid. You are still a kid, right..?

 If I could paint a portrait, of this life in which I've led, and somehow sketch a story, of the visions in my head, I'd start out with a canvas, stretched tightly in a frame, and in the bottom corner, I'd leave room to sign my name. (Michelle A. Bartley)
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


14 posted 05-04-2000 07:05 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Martie~
Savored your perspectives.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Tuck
Junior Member
since 04-29-2000
Posts 27


15 posted 05-04-2000 08:40 AM       View Profile for Tuck   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tuck

well done! my first thought when i finished was "awwww" which i definitely think is a good thing...
A.C.Turner
Member
since 04-30-2000
Posts 89
Reading, Pa.Home of Bardfest


16 posted 05-04-2000 08:01 PM       View Profile for A.C.Turner   Email A.C.Turner   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A.C.Turner

Powerful. A lesson with great imagery. ACT.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


17 posted 05-04-2000 08:10 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Thanks deer one, each poem is a part of me..and very important.

lucky, your widdershins take me there, to the kid again.

Marge--thanks for the persepctive.

Tuck--I'm glad your awwwww was a good thing

ACT--Thanks so much for your comment--I really apprecaite it.
bboog
Member
since 02-29-2000
Posts 307
Valencia, California


18 posted 05-04-2000 09:46 PM       View Profile for bboog   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit bboog's Home Page   View IP for bboog

Martie~
  I liked the brutal honesty of this piece. The second stanza is a little choppy, but it didn't distract from the message or the overall effort. Good writing.
best regards,
bboog
Martie will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #7 >> Don't Tell Anyone Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors