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| Open Poetry #7 |
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daft Junior Member
since 2000-05-02
Posts 16 |
Empty by yvonne The sky is weak, the sky is torn. And to this all, we are born. As I look around, I fill with fear. If all we have is what lies here, this lonely world, this empty space, then cold dead people without a face... Well, I see no reason to go on, no reason to live or to die, no reason to laugh or to cry, no reason to sleep in fear, no reason to ever wake, no promises to keep, and none to break. And so at night still having eyes wide shut, to study the clear and defined cut. That wounds us all, as all that is left is bone. Is anyone there, Am I alone? All that glitters, is cold! Comments: This poem was writen to express my feelings of life & all involved. I am 19, but I have been writing for the last 10 years & the style never changes. Most can't or just don't understand my way of writing, but I guess that they don't have to either. |
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| © Copyright 2000 daft - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi daft, This is a powerful piece of work here, and nobody judges feelings here at passions my friend, we all have something to say to the world and there is always someone to understand, you do wonderful work. Welcome to passions, Cerenity |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Yvonne, First post and a powerful one too! Welcome to Passions, and enjoy your time out here. Regards, Sudhir. Take each day as it comes, Consider each day as a flight, Try hard to succeed and fly, Surely then you will reach some height. But if by some chance you don’t, Remember that tomorrow will always come. Learn this well and learn this hard That today’s efforts will pay for tomorrow’s fun. A Crazy Monster, a.k.a Ski |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Well I happen to understand it, and like it! The title says it all...this piece was painful, but I think most of us can relate to feeling this way. For most of my teenage years, I searched for something to fill that void of emptiness, and I too, found comfort in writing it down. Hold your head high, and keep searching for some good in the world. It's out there, but you have to find it - by looking! It's kind of scarce now you know! Welcome to Passions, btw...I know you'll like it here! |
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DiObear Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 66Switzerland |
Yvonne, This poem is very well written. Don't worry about whether or not others can understand your way of writing. Write for yourself... you do such a wonderful job of it. And, welcome to this place called Passions. I've only been here a few days and I love it already. I think that you'll find that it's definitely not empty! DiObear |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
woah this is cool beans yuh hope yuh dont mind me sayin that but i likes it yuh i been writin forever too and yuh im a lil unstable but i knew this style for a good long while The doctor said, "You're almost dead. Don't eat green bananas no more." The sick little monkey groaned and said, "But that's what I 1-2 the 3-4." from The Monkey--Shel Silverstein |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
Yvonne, Welcome to passions! You will find numerous people here who will understand and identify with your style. There is honest and heartfeft pain in your work and it is wonderful to see you working through it with your writing. Great first post! David2  |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
I welcome you here, I also am new here, and I enjoy reading everyone's poetry. This is what it's all about opening up and letting the words flow . Sometimes I know my best writing comes when I am down. I hope to see more of your work. May you have a wonderful day and a better tomorrow. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Welcome to Passions! This piece come from heart and soul, no one has a right to judge that nor will they here. Thank you for sharing the gift that you have with us. Hold me for yesterday Kiss me for tomorrow But love me for today. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Yvonne~ A hearty welcome to Passion's. Actually I found this to be a tender piece of lonliness that many here will identify with. Check out the other forum areas and you'll find much diversity in the poets styles and thoughts. Thanks for sharing. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Welcome to Passions Yvonne Keep on writing - this is a wonderful poem -----sad, of course, but well written. I did not have any trouble understanding this poem netswan |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
First off, welcome to Passions! I think you'll find this place anything but cold and empty! I found this piece of writing beautiful....a wonderful expression of confusion reguarding the world we live in. I look forward to your next post! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Welcome to Passions, Daft! You've expressed that feeling of 'nothingness' very well. Please check your e-mail for a special welcome! Denise |
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mete out Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270england |
***Yvonne, i understand this poem perfectly. it is a beautiful piece with so much longing and desperation. age doesn't matter here, i'm a mere 17... anyway, welcome to passions and as long as you are posting here, i'll be reading... keep writing, keep fighting. I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
hi, daft and add my welcome to the list... I relate well to this... you express your emotions very well... For years my poems were "depressing" and hard for others to understand... but as someone above said...thats not what matters...it is what writing does for our souls...the release and healing that will come with it. thats the true gift of poetry. nice to meet you...I look forward to more of your work. ~as always, Take Care,JM~ -------------- I know it's been a long road To get these towns behind me and I Will gladly reap what we may sow-- I am there for you ... and you're there for me ... Are you waiting for Heart in hand Woman and man See me where I stand I am Heart Heart in hand ~vertical horizon~ |
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daft Junior Member
since 2000-05-02
Posts 16 |
I want to thank all of you which have replied to my poem. It is greatly appreciated that there are those of you who understand & enjoy my poetry as much as I do. I will keep writing & sharing my poetry with all of you for as long as I am capable of writing. I feel very welcome here because of you, so thank you! |
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