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Open Poetry #7
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daft
Junior Member
since 2000-05-02
Posts 16


0 posted 2000-05-02 10:46 AM


        
                Empty
              by yvonne

The sky is weak, the sky is torn.
And to this all, we are born.
As I look around, I fill with fear.
If all we have is what lies here,
this lonely world, this empty space,
then cold dead people without a face...
Well, I see no reason to go on,
no reason to live or to die,
no reason to laugh or to cry,
no reason to sleep in fear,
no reason to ever wake,
no promises to keep, and none to break.
And so at night still having eyes wide
shut,
to study the clear and defined cut.
That wounds us all, as all that is left is
bone.
Is anyone there, Am I alone?
All that glitters, is cold!


Comments: This poem was writen to express my feelings of life & all involved. I am 19, but I have been writing for the last 10 years & the style never changes. Most can't or just don't understand my way of writing, but I guess that they don't have to either.


© Copyright 2000 daft - All Rights Reserved
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
1 posted 2000-05-02 10:54 AM


Hi daft,

This is a powerful piece of work here, and nobody judges feelings here at passions my friend, we all have something to say to the world and there is always someone to understand, you do wonderful work.

Welcome to passions,

Cerenity

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
2 posted 2000-05-02 10:58 AM


Yvonne,
First post and a powerful one too!

Welcome to Passions, and enjoy your time out here.

Regards,
Sudhir.

 Take each day as it comes,
Consider each day as a flight,
Try hard to succeed and fly,
Surely then you will reach some height.

But if by some chance you don’t,
Remember that tomorrow will always come.
Learn this well and learn this hard
That today’s efforts will pay for tomorrow’s fun.

A Crazy Monster, a.k.a Ski


poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
3 posted 2000-05-02 11:08 AM


Well I happen to understand it, and like it!  The title says it all...this piece was painful, but I think most of us can relate to feeling this way.  For most of my teenage years, I searched for something to fill that void of emptiness, and I too, found comfort in writing it down.  Hold your head high, and keep searching for some good in the world.  It's out there, but you have to find it -  by looking!  It's kind of scarce now you know!  Welcome to Passions, btw...I know you'll like it here!  
DiObear
Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 66
Switzerland
4 posted 2000-05-02 11:11 AM


Yvonne,

This poem is very well written. Don't worry about whether or not others can understand your way of writing.  Write for yourself... you do such a wonderful job of it.

And, welcome to this place called Passions.  I've only been here a few days and I love it already.  I think that you'll find that it's definitely not empty!  

DiObear

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
5 posted 2000-05-02 11:46 AM


woah this is cool beans yuh hope yuh dont mind me sayin that but i likes it yuh i been writin forever too and yuh im a lil unstable but i knew this style for a good long while

 The doctor said, "You're almost dead.
Don't eat green bananas no more."
The sick little monkey groaned and said,
"But that's what I 1-2 the 3-4."
from The Monkey--Shel Silverstein

David2
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407

6 posted 2000-05-02 11:50 AM


Yvonne,
    Welcome to passions! You will find numerous people here who will understand and identify with your style. There is honest and heartfeft pain in your work and it is wonderful to see you working through it with your writing. Great first post!
        David2

Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
7 posted 2000-05-02 10:43 PM


I welcome you here, I also am new here, and I enjoy reading everyone's poetry. This is what it's all about opening up and letting the words flow . Sometimes I know my best writing comes when I am down. I hope to see more of your work. May you have a wonderful day and a better tomorrow.

 

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
8 posted 2000-05-02 10:52 PM


Welcome to Passions! This piece come from heart and soul, no one has a right to judge that nor will they here. Thank you for sharing the gift that you have with us.

 Hold me for yesterday
Kiss me for tomorrow
But love me for today.


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2000-05-02 11:26 PM


Yvonne~
A hearty welcome to Passion's.

Actually I found this to be a tender
piece of lonliness that many here will
identify with.  

Check out the other forum
areas and you'll find much diversity in
the poets styles and thoughts.

Thanks for sharing.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
10 posted 2000-05-03 02:48 AM


Welcome to Passions Yvonne

Keep on writing - this is a wonderful
poem -----sad, of course, but well
written.

I did not have any trouble understanding
this poem

netswan

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
11 posted 2000-05-03 08:40 AM


First off, welcome to Passions! I think you'll find this place anything but cold and empty! I found this piece of writing beautiful....a wonderful expression of confusion reguarding the world we live in. I look forward to your next post!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

12 posted 2000-05-03 09:19 AM


Welcome to Passions, Daft! You've expressed that feeling of 'nothingness' very well. Please check your e-mail for a special welcome!

Denise

mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
13 posted 2000-05-03 09:31 AM


***Yvonne,
i understand this poem perfectly.
it is a beautiful piece with so much longing and desperation.
age doesn't matter here, i'm a mere 17...
anyway, welcome to passions and as long as you are posting here, i'll be reading...

keep writing,
keep fighting.


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2000-05-03 09:58 AM


hi, daft and add my welcome to the list...

I relate well to this...
you express your emotions very well...
For years my poems were "depressing" and hard for others to understand...
but as someone above said...thats not what matters...it is what writing does for our souls...the release and healing that will come with it.
thats the true gift of poetry.
nice to meet you...I look forward to more of your work.




 ~as always, Take Care,JM~
--------------
I know it's been a long road
To get these towns behind me and I
Will gladly reap what we may sow--
I am there for you ...
and you're there for me ...
Are you waiting for
Heart in hand
Woman and man
See me where I stand I am
Heart
Heart in hand
~vertical horizon~


daft
Junior Member
since 2000-05-02
Posts 16

15 posted 2000-05-03 10:15 AM


I want to thank all of you which have replied to my poem. It is greatly appreciated that there are those of you who understand & enjoy my poetry as much as I do. I will keep writing & sharing my poetry with all of you for as long as I am capable of writing. I feel very welcome here because of you, so thank you!
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