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Open Poetry #7
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Into The Iris.......
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Into The Iris....... |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Look inside Through the old Cobwebbed windows Through the weary Weathered glass And you will see Bare and barren walls Stripped Of picture and memory And of good times past Bleached Of the vibrant colour That once was Where remnants of furniture Once lavish and soft Remain torn and Broken So that comfort is Void As they stand Defiant Upon bare Cold floors That yield No sense of home No flickering sense Of belonging In this place Where solitary sound Frantically bounces From each empty room To the next Desperately seeking The loving yellow light And warmth that Once Lived here Only to uncover The faded Grey Shadows That haunt This empty place Shadows Which reach deep Into the hidden centre Shrouding Its very core In thick Black Darkness Hiding From eyes that dare To inquire....... The burnt Charred Remains of me |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Some wonderful imagery in this poem...yet, it is so emotional and tragic...there is so much beauty inside the iris...I hope the dark lightens a little for you. |
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TearsFromHeaven Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 19Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Moonshine, This is a wonderful piece. I can feel the strength of your words. Very emotional. And the imagery is absolutely astounding. Thank you for sharing it! Trust Instinct. Instinct will keep an animal alive, but Logic can kill a man. Richard "Rickey" N. Boydstun, Jr. |
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DiObear Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 66Switzerland |
Moonshine, This poem just flowed as I read it, in words and emotion. Thanks for sharing it. DiObear |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
All I know to say to this is Wow....this thing just kept flowing with pain and memory...and the way you wrapped it up there at the end, just took my saddened breath away. FABULOUS piece here! So glad I read it! It's as if I could see into your soul...once color, now black and white. Thank you for sharing your eyes. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Martie and also for your warm wishes - I am confident things will get better : ) the poem was just me expressing how I was feeling ( in a somewhat dramatic way) lol Moonshine. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Hey there TFH, Thanx for your lovely reply and comment - I am glad you enjoyed it. Moonshine. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply to my poem DO, I'm glad that you liked it : ) Moonshine. |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply and for your encouragement pFF - I am glad you enjoyed the read. Moonshine. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Moonshine~ How hauntingly lovely this piece is. I really enjoyed reading it aloud. Very vividly you've portrayed the lonliness of returning to peek inside the windows of a vacant heart. There glows but the slightest ember of hope in the 'burnt charred remains' of the shadow of 'you'. May the kindling breezes ignite it to flame again. A lovely read. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Thanx for your lovely reply and comment Marge. The poem is not about love though, it's about the way I've been feeling lately - just a very dramatic version of it lol Thanx for your warm wishes - they mean a lot. Moonshine. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Wow. This poem literally screams in such a soft way...the "iris" of the eye...each line bringing forth imagination of sight, sound, and not just words filling up a line... you blew me away with this one...quite a remarkable piece of work. Kudos! P.S. A Belated Welcome to Passions! |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
There is darkness in this poem, but I think we all have a darker side, a tragic side that needs to be explored. You've demonstrated some good insight here...written very well. Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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