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Passions in Poetry

Is there light at the end of our tunnel?

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Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 04-28-2000
Posts 820
on the roof again


0 posted 05-02-2000 01:44 AM       View Profile for Ethan Halo   Email Ethan Halo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Ethan Halo's Home Page   View IP for Ethan Halo

thoughts of lost

i don't see a life past seventeen.
i don't see a world ahead.
all i see is my worthlessness.
i see my body lying dead.

i don't wanna live the rest of this life.
i've lived enough thus far.
i'd like to drink the world away
and die standing at the bar.

empty smiles and empty love.
empty promises to an empty soul.
the bulletholes are the eyes of snakes
i see when the dice are rolled.

blood on my jeans; cuts on my arms.
i sit and share a thought with myself:
"At least i'm only hurting me, but
is my Heaven better than your Hell?"

the days are too long, and i'm still worthless.
can't keep from falling; just collapse and cry.
close my eyes and jump on my own.
i can stop waiting for my turn to die.


 We all got somethin' we need to atone for.





[This message has been edited by Ethan_Halo (edited 05-03-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Ethan Halo - All Rights Reserved
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 04-28-2000
Posts 820
on the roof again


1 posted 05-02-2000 01:52 AM       View Profile for Ethan Halo   Email Ethan Halo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ethan Halo's Home Page   View IP for Ethan Halo

this is actually a little heavy for the atmospere tonight... but some critique would be appreciated. just wanted some thoughts on it ya know... thanx!

 We all got somethin' we need to atone for.

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


2 posted 05-02-2000 01:58 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

You know, this really hurts me to read this, after I just posted my poem to parents.  You know, I was a teenager not too long ago, and I had no idea then, that my parents were so caught up in their own problems, they failed to see or hear mine.  It took me 10 years later, to discover why it was so darn hard to get through those years alone.  If I had had just one person to sit down and talk to, it would have been so much easier.  I totally understand where you're coming from.  How much time do your parents spend, talking with you?  I'm just curious, because reading your poem, tells me, not very much.  I'm only 27, not too much older than you, but if there's one thing I'm good at, it's listening.  Feel free to email me anytime, ok?  I'm not online as much anymore, as I'm trying to spend some extra time with my own kids, but I do check my email daily.  Take care, and don't give up...it does get easier, I promise.  Sincerely,  Gen


[This message has been edited by poetFemmeFatale (edited 05-02-2000).]
kaleidoscope
Junior Member
since 01-10-2000
Posts 38


3 posted 05-02-2000 02:00 AM       View Profile for kaleidoscope   Email kaleidoscope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaleidoscope

Deep.  Deep.  I know a thirteen year old who feels the same way.  Heartache.  Keep writing.  Well done.  Intriguing reference to playing crap.  I like the lines "the bulletholes are the eyes of snakes i see when the dice are rolled."
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


4 posted 05-02-2000 02:01 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

BTW, did I tell you this was good?  It is a bit heavy, as you say, but good nonetheless!  Keep on writing - it's how I survived the tough times.  I was my own best friend, as were my thoughts on paper.  Hope to see more from you!  Welcome to Passions too!
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 04-28-2000
Posts 820
on the roof again


5 posted 05-02-2000 02:11 AM       View Profile for Ethan Halo   Email Ethan Halo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ethan Halo's Home Page   View IP for Ethan Halo

Gen,
Thanx for the critique. and i feel that. my poetry seems to be the best way for me to vent. and now i've got a place to share it and get inspired by other folks. i responded to your children one, also. i really dug it. =)


 We all got somethin' we need to atone for.

pen of passion
Member
since 08-11-99
Posts 240


6 posted 05-03-2000 10:45 PM       View Profile for pen of passion   Email pen of passion   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pen of passion

Well-written expressions.  Yea, there is a light.  Been there, keep the faith, someday you'll be penning more light, than heavy.
netswan
Senior Member
since 03-28-2000
Posts 1395
Washington


7 posted 05-04-2000 12:11 AM       View Profile for netswan   Email netswan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit netswan's Home Page   View IP for netswan

Hello Ethan -----this poem is very
well written-  and a sad eye opener ----

I help so many teens now -- not a day goes
by when one doesn't come knocking on my
door, -- a hug, advice -- someone to
share what they are feeling -- a bit of
help with their homework.

This body infliction stuff is a dangerous
sign that things are not going right --

This venting your pain is very good therapy.
You will find many lovely people in here
that are willing to lend an ear.

Many of us do remember the hormonal nightmares of being a teen -----yet, once
you are up and about and out on your own.
LIFE has so much worth living for ----
what is it a year and 1/2 more?

I know many teens who told me after talking
to me --YEP I can do that. I know I can do
that now ------and guess what, they did.
Some have wives and kids now -- some are
in college  - some are working and partying
big time with their new found freedom

And some are volunteering to work with
the food bank - helping with the elderly
and coaching sports -------So many things
in life to look forward to.  -- Never give up
hope.

Who knows you may be a famous writer,
a great counselor -- maybe a teacher --
who knows what potential lay ahead in
the paths you will choose?

Feel free to email me, anytime

Hugs from netswan

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


8 posted 05-04-2000 06:47 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Ethan~
You write your emotions well.

The tunnel never looks so dark
as when you reach the light and
look back at where you've been.

If your writing is an indication
of where you've been ... then I'd say
that you've reached the light and can
now stand outside the tunnel, looking
back and counting your blessings.
Walk in the sunshine ... it suits you.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

dreamy_eyes
Member
since 06-17-2000
Posts 82


9 posted 07-09-2000 05:50 AM       View Profile for dreamy_eyes   Email dreamy_eyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dreamy_eyes

No matter how heavy your problems get harming yourself doesn't help it just makes matters worse.  A problem shared is a problem halved so they say......  Some things need to kept and some things need to be shared.  If you need to talk to someone I'm here.  E-mail me anytime itdepartmentsccc@ic24.net.

Love Deb
     -x-
 
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