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Elliott
Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 35
Chapel Hill, NC

0 posted 2000-04-28 02:46 PM


street scene serenades slip past my windowshade
and push the dust inward disturbing a dark room's silence

you couldn't be here too soon, too soon to save me
from gray walls closing in; i begin
to think and Reason calls my name.

i scoff at it, throw a book into the flame
and watch it melt to orange, then red, then black, then gone. Hello, Faith.


one salty drop from your eye
could fill a dried ocean,
launch a thousand ships,
cause me to fall into the slipstream,
muscles twitching in a waking dream.

one word from your lips
could bring me to my knees-
at one with the ground,
not making a sound,
so elementally true
and engendered by you.



[This message has been edited by Elliott (edited 04-30-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Elliott - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-04-28 03:13 PM


you couldn't be here too soon, too soon to save me
from gray walls closing in; i begin
to think and Reason calls my name.
----------------
one word from your lips:
could bring me to my knees,
there on the ground,
not making a sound,
there on the ground,
juxtaposed to you,
you who are so true.
---------------------

cool, Elliotts back...
with a very cool poem...
this is very well written,
love the expression of emotion in this...
love a man on his knees(poetically speaking)
*smile*

>>"you couldn't be here too soon, too soon to save me"<<

love that line...
excellent poem, thanx for the read.
take care, jm

 Is it too much to find an answer,
Is it too much to hold you close.
Is it too much to find a reason,
Is it too much to free my soul --
From self control ...
And I know you're always waiting for me ...
You take me far away,
And I know you're holding me ...
And it's better now ...
~vertical horizon~



Elliott
Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 35
Chapel Hill, NC
2 posted 2000-04-28 05:40 PM


yep, i'm back, and lately the juices have been flowing  


thanks for the compliments, JM. you're a sweetie.

netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
3 posted 2000-04-28 06:58 PM


Thanks Elliott, I enjoyed this.
Such love -- and such one salty tear.
Wow ---

netswan

Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
4 posted 2000-04-28 08:53 PM


That was a beautiful.  The first line was my favorite.  I enjoyed it very much.

 "It is in our aloneness
that we recognize our oneness,
even as the single droplet of water
knows also that it is the sea."Daniel

*Cassie Roseen*



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2000-04-28 10:28 PM


very expressive!

 Kathleen


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2000-04-28 10:32 PM


Very well written, Elliott.
Elliott
Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 35
Chapel Hill, NC
7 posted 2000-04-29 01:32 PM


BTTT, b/c i changed it a bit and made it less cheesy.  

[This message has been edited by Elliott (edited 04-29-2000).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2000-04-29 01:52 PM


Elliott,
Excellent work.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2000-04-29 03:23 PM


Elliott~
This is quite an elegant piece.
You have pulled me into your head ...
very well done.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


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