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Open Poetry #7
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2000-04-27 05:47 PM


Far across fertile fields and raging rivers
Through woods filled with wooden slivers
Underneath the bluest of skies
Lies a castle built of stone and timber
Proudly does the heralding flags fly

Brightly does the sun ever shine here
Washing over the merry people clear

Rising up in the middle of the castle, a tower
Strong and tall, an example of the royal power
Parapets placed upon the top like a crown
The princess within, spends every waking hour
Forlornly looking out, and down

Fingers working the loom, spinning through time
Anything to ease her heavy, burdened mind

Below the tower, the people move unknowing
Their faces beaming, a happy countenance showing
Going about with everyday cares
While up above, constant tears flowing
A still and stifling silence in the air

As she waits with hands clasped saintly,
Waiting for her prince to return, patiently


© Copyright 2000 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-04-27 05:58 PM


Far across fertile fields and raging rivers
Through woods filled with wooden slivers
Underneath the bluest of skies
Lies a castle built of stone and timber
Proudly does the heralding flags fly
Brightly does the sun ever shine here
Washing over the merry people clear

Rising up in the middle of the castle, a tower
Strong and tall, an example of the royal power
Parapets placed upon the top like a crown
The princess within, spends every waking hour
Forlornly looking out, and down
----------------------
While up above, constant tears flowing
A still and stifling silence in the air

As she waits with hands clasped saintly,
Waiting for her prince to return, patiently
------------------

wow the imagery in this one is excellent jer,
very well detailed and drawn with your poets pen
this is a bit of a different kind of poem for you...I like the fantasy, fairy tale feel of it.
I relate to this ones emotions well,
...have you been peeking in my castle windows *S*
you know us chicks...
always waiting for our princes and poets to come to us  
excellent poem.
your jm

 Is it too much to find an answer,
Is it too much to hold you close.
Is it too much to find a reason,
Is it too much to free my soul --
From self control ...
And I know you're always waiting for me ...
You take me far away,
And I know you're holding me ...
And it's better now ...
~vertical horizon~



Boovoltz
New Member
since 2000-04-19
Posts 8

2 posted 2000-04-27 06:06 PM


I like it.  
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2000-04-27 07:13 PM


JML,
This was excellent!!  Love the story you have told.  Just drew me right in from the start...wow.  Great writing!!!  


 Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
4 posted 2000-05-01 09:58 AM


Thank ya'll very much. I may need to write more about that princess.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2000-05-01 04:35 PM


Excellent writing...James
kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
6 posted 2000-05-01 07:33 PM


Okay JML-you started the tease. I know you got it in you-Write us a story Please.

Your bud
kitkat

Tess
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288
Australia
7 posted 2000-05-01 07:43 PM


Ok...you've got us hooked in ...so when's the sequel????  
THe imagery surrounding this tale was excellent, set the scene, and in a few lines you set our imaginations wondering what will happen to that sad princess who waits.


 "Love is the only drug you can take that will convince you each time
that you've never had it before."
~author unknown~



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