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Open Poetry #7
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-04-26 01:17 AM


I know.
I know I'm pathetic right now,
But I need an escape.

You're right.
I can't do anything but watch your slow, unfurling collapse
Into a malformed heap.

I might as well sit back, relax,
Laugh it up.
Here's one:
What did the girl say before she committed suicide?
"I'm dead serious."

Oh, you heard that one?
Why did the girl use a knife on  her wrists?
"She wanted to show her cutting wit."
Funny, no?

Well, I don't have much to work with here.
Your crying pay-attention-to-me face
And provocative dress accentuating bones.

I used to call you princess of flowers.
You came into the office in your summery outfits,
Sunny smile, tanned skin.

More and more though, your face became gray.
You started wearing tightly fitting black and neutral tones.
Gave cutting remarks to innocent teases.
Seemed distracted by simple tasks.

You never told what happened to effect such a change.
But I saw your eyes twitch. I saw that smile falter
When no one was looking. I saw you trying to pick-place your sleeves
Over things you didn't want to show.

I don't think it was a change at all.
You just forgot how to keep track of your split selves.
Happy happy happy sad happy happy angry sad happy happy sad sad sad.

Your candle burns from the inside out.
Have you ever seen that? A hidden, inside flame slowly melting a hole
Through the center of something, watching the filament
Burn up and the wax collect like blood until nothing is left
But singed string, after-effects?
I'll admit, watching the colors glow, the wax collect, is beautiful.
But it's still destruction.

But you won't face that, will you, ashen princess?
You wouldn't know that, would you, waxen flower?
Ruffled head drooping, thorns melting, unstable stem.
Leaves already fallen free, little curling fires of their own.

I'm going to leave. I can't help you.
And I refuse to burn in your mess.
The pollen is fallen, smokescattered.
And your perfume smells like creosol champagne.
Congrats, you got what you wanted.
And it fits you just perfectly.

© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2000-04-26 01:20 AM


this is really great the imagery perfect and so sad i love it yuh
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2000-04-26 01:23 AM


Thanks, w.o.w. I appreciate your comments.

Mike

bobbycat
Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233
USA
3 posted 2000-04-26 01:27 AM


Wow.....all I can say is 'wow'.  Beautiful poem, achingly sad.  I loved it.

Bobbycat =^..^=


 ~~ And it harm none, do what ye will.~~


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-04-26 01:28 AM


My word! More later...this is something else.

~ Claire

 Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
5 posted 2000-04-26 01:32 AM


Hmmm....What can I say that hasn't already been said? I love this.

All my love,
Jeffrey

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-04-26 01:37 AM


What did the girl say before she committed suicide?
"I'm dead serious."

Oh, you heard that one?
Why did the girl use a knife on  her wrists?
"She wanted to show her cutting wit."
Funny, no?

Well, I don't have much to work with here.
Your crying pay-attention-to-me face
And provocative dress accentuating bones.
------------------
More and more though, your face became gray.
You started wearing tightly fitting black and neutral tones.
Gave cutting remarks to innocent teases.
Seemed distracted by simple tasks.

You never told what happened to effect such a change.
But I saw your eyes twitch. I saw that smile falter
When no one was looking. I saw you trying to pick-place your sleeves
Over things you didn't want to show.
------------------
Your candle burns from the inside out.
Have you ever seen that? A hidden, inside flame slowly melting a hole
Through the center of something, watching the filament
Burn up and the wax collect like blood until nothing is left
But singed string, after-effects?
I'll admit, watching the colors glow, the wax collect, is beautiful.
But it's still destruction.
------------------

oh-man...I've read this 3 times now...and all I can do is shake my head and smile...
I honestly dont know how to reply to this.
The words to accurately tell you how this poem effects me ... have left me...
so I will just say...man, I LOVE when you write like this...

"Your crying pay-attention-to-me face"

...love the way your mind works.
you are so cool. and so deep.
take care my poetic pal,
jm

 Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders
And it makes me want to touch you there.
And the light in your eyes makes me feel
Like there's something much better out there
Something kind...
And I know someday I might be looking around
Trying to find some purpose
Well purpose it can't be that hard to find
As long as I've got the wind...
The wind and your love to carry me.
vertical horizon



bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2000-04-26 01:38 AM


bobbycat,
Glad you enjoyed. And I figured out all you could say is wow after saying it twice in that message.  

Claire,
Thanks for reading. Nice to hear from ya once in a while. I missed you. Though, of course, I'm totally negligent in reading other people's poetry, these days. Bad me.

Jeff,
Thank you.

Mike

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

8 posted 2000-04-26 01:40 AM


Hi, Butterfly Slippers!

Glad you enjoyed, of course. And you're almost making me blush. I've found the way I deal with praise is kinda detach myself from it. I don't know why I work that way, but I do.

Thanks again for your reply.  

Mike

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2000-04-26 02:25 AM


BSQ...
came back for another read before I shut down for the nite and saw your reply...
I truly dont mean to make you blush...
you should enjoy the praise though...
your work is SO good...
and this piece here is awesome...intense...
and as you can see...I wasnt the only one who thought so...Im in good company.
anyway enjoy the praise...
the same way I enjoyed this poem...
goodnight cool squirrel poet  
jm/bs

 Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders
And it makes me want to touch you there.
And the light in your eyes makes me feel
Like there's something much better out there
Something kind...
And I know someday I might be looking around
Trying to find some purpose
Well purpose it can't be that hard to find
As long as I've got the wind...
The wind and your love to carry me.
vertical horizon



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