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Passions in Poetry

Message in a Bottle

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Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


0 posted 04-25-2000 05:32 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

   Message in a Bottle


There was so much magic
in the water
as the sun turned down
and left all its silver fishes
shimmering like a diamond necklace
across the lake.

Soft muted moss swayed
with a lapping caress
against the rock where
I sat in contemplation.

I saw a bottle floating
where the water turned to waste
and muck like swamp goo,
it gently hit a rock in rhythm
and chimed with such delight
I imagined its contents,
some cheap wine and stolen kisses
with the exposed midriff of love
on the naked open grass
and this bottle
maybe in a brown sack passed,
and the sweet taste lingering
on soft open kisses
of two drunk on passion.

I looked closer
hoping to glimpse a piece of paper
nestled there for me to find,
something that said…
I have searched forever for you
just to find you here
too late in this faded time
to kiss you,
but love sighs if you listen
to the caress of air that stirs
around the star draped sky,
and you will find me there
lost and hungry for your taste.

Such interesting stories in the depth
of shallow mellow drifting clutter
of a lake in a city.
An orange plastic bowling pin,
next to a flip flop
next to matted fish line
next to a Styrofoam cup
and a coke can,
a story for each object
left, neglectful or blown
like a plastic bag across time
to lodge in exclamation
of the things that make us human.

I closed my eyes and listened
to the sand shifting
and the sweet chime of my bottle
where a story grew,
and the radiant colored dream
burst and fell around me
like brown wings

and for some reason I felt so sad.



  
    

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 04-25-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Franni
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since 07-02-99
Posts 41


1 posted 04-25-2000 05:56 PM       View Profile for Franni   Email Franni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Franni

Martie, I collect old bottles.  This poem really touched me with all the sounds and senses. This poem really takes one far beyond just a picture of a bottle and your last line really got me.

Franni
Jeffrey Carter
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since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


2 posted 04-25-2000 06:17 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

WOW What vivid description in this Martie.

I found a message in a bottle once, But all it said was "No Comment"...lol

Now don't that beat all?...lol

All my love,
Jeffrey
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


3 posted 04-25-2000 06:19 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Martie...  you are truly amazing.  Anyone who can make "muck like swamp goo" that appealing has to be on a different plane than the rest of mere mortals.  Personally, this is one of my favorites of your poems.
Truly enjoyed.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


4 posted 04-25-2000 07:33 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Mike, Martie is for sure on a different poetic plane, and I agree with Franni, your poetry, Martie, takes us far beyond description. It literally pulls us into the poem.
You are a wonder
And this is wonderful
Liz
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


5 posted 04-25-2000 08:54 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Franni--I collect many old things...bottles are one...I'm so glad you liked this poem!

Jeffrey--thanks so much for the wow, but the no comment, how sad...just make up your own message like I did.

Mike--So glad you like this..it was truly a beautiful place, but it's so sad to see how people just don't care enough to pick up their own garbage.  Still want to go fishing?

Liz--You do wonderful things to my ego...thank you so much, my friend.
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 04-25-2000 09:02 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Magnificent writing, Martie! Very beautiful!

Denise
Corinne
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since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


7 posted 04-25-2000 09:33 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

I'm with Mike on this one!

You can make any subject sound romantic and whistful!

Corinne
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


8 posted 04-25-2000 10:16 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Denise--thanks for the magnificant!

Corinne--it was...really!
Marge Tindal
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


9 posted 04-25-2000 10:42 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Oh, Martie~

This titillating poem took me to the land of wishes and dreams and plopped me back on the contaminated shore of reality.

How I was wishing for you to find the 'message in a bottle'.
Of such are heart-sighs made.

Then the plunk of realities 'bottle'
settled in and awakened me from the dream.

What a sadly vivid poem that heralds the
need for Earth Day programs.

You are just something else, my friend.
Love ya'
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
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California


10 posted 04-25-2000 10:52 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

My dear sister Marge, thank you for seeing right into the heart of what I was trying to say.
lucky
Senior Member
since 01-17-2000
Posts 1648
Idaho


11 posted 04-25-2000 11:06 PM       View Profile for lucky   Email lucky   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lucky

I was really thinking about "Message in a Vase" when I began to read. You surprised me again. Nice work too..!
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


12 posted 04-26-2000 10:34 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

lucky, you make me smile...thanks for reading!
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


13 posted 04-26-2000 11:19 AM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

The message in this bottle needs to be back at the top.....so here you go~~~~>>>>>
Martie, this was nice reading.
lucky
Senior Member
since 01-17-2000
Posts 1648
Idaho


14 posted 04-29-2000 03:16 AM       View Profile for lucky   Email lucky   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lucky

But too,

I haven't forgotten your message in a bottle.

Best loves deary.
lucky
Senior Member
since 01-17-2000
Posts 1648
Idaho


15 posted 04-29-2000 11:07 PM       View Profile for lucky   Email lucky   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lucky

[Have I been here..? So I forgot]
They said I was losing
my memory and I
just couldn't
resist this
'lil one.

~~~~~~~~~~~

To Be Home

to be at

home is the best cure for winter
Christmas sadness which falls upon us
inside our doors our own rooms are never
quite so snug as when the fires are lighted
which are like ‘ol friends who welcome
us after a long absence an take up
the threads of acquaintance
where it was dropped
off in spring there
are still some
flowers on
the desk
asters
and
our
last
dried
roses of
summer with
red and white berries
nestling among brown leaves
prolonging their radiance and beauty
of the spring that links the past to our present
but the glows of warm fires and the early evening
dressed in crispy airs along with bright stars out of
doors reminds me winter is come and makes me
glad I’m here at home and thankful not only
for its peace but for your warm loving

also.

[Much love Martie]


 
lucky
Senior Member
since 01-17-2000
Posts 1648
Idaho


16 posted 04-29-2000 11:41 PM       View Profile for lucky   Email lucky   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lucky

[Oh please Martie... may I]

There was so much magic in the
water as the sun turned down
and left all its silver fishes
shimmering like a diamond
necklace across the lake. Soft
muted moss swayed with a lapping caress
against the rock where I sat in contemplation. I saw a
bottle floating where the water turned to waste and muck
like swamp goo..; it gently hit a rock in rhythm and chimed
with such delight I imagined its contents some cheap wine
and stolen kisses with the exposed midriff of love on the
naked open grass and this bottle maybe in a brown
sack passed, and the sweet taste lingering on
soft open kisses of two drunk on passion.
I looked closer hoping to glimpse a
piece of paper nestled there for
me to find, something that said...
I have searched forever for you just
to find you here too late in this faded time
to kiss you, but love sighs if you listen to the caress of
air that stirs around the star draped sky, and you will find me
there lost and hungry for your taste. Such interesting stories in the
depth of shallow mellow drifting clutter of a lake in a city. An orange
plastic bowling pin, next to a flip flop next to matted fish line next to a
styrofoam cup and a coke can, a story for each object left, neglectful
or blown like a plastic bag across time to lodge in exclamation
of the things that make us human. I closed my eyes and
listened to the sand shifting and the sweet chime of
my bottle where a story grew,  and the
radiant colored dream burst and
fell around me like brown wings
and for some reason I felt so sad.


 

[This message has been edited by lucky (edited 04-29-2000).]
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


17 posted 04-29-2000 11:49 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

lucky, much love, still and again in bottles or jars formed from words into marvelous shapes it still is and will be just your sweet self shaping such a beautiful life!!
Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 08-26-99
Posts 1064
northern mountains, Idaho


18 posted 04-30-2000 12:03 AM       View Profile for Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Email Rosemary J. Gwaltney   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rosemary J. Gwaltney's Home Page   View IP for Rosemary J. Gwaltney

Beautiful poem!  I enjoyed it very much.  Good thing you understand my sweet one.  He just can't help himself sometimes...!!

DiObear
Member
since 04-30-2000
Posts 68
Switzerland


19 posted 04-30-2000 10:56 PM       View Profile for DiObear   Email DiObear   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DiObear

To me, this read like a story and I felt like I was sitting next to you on that rock.  The images you create seem so real.  

It would have been an even nicer image if we weren't talking about trash.  

 
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 08-04-2000
Posts 2916
Wilmington, Delaware


20 posted 08-23-2000 08:56 PM       View Profile for Wilfred Yeats   Email Wilfred Yeats   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Wilfred Yeats's Home Page   View IP for Wilfred Yeats

your magical 1st verse held me tight through the muck & goo to come - and like you I felt sad at the end - clearly you conveyed your message very well - I post messages - but not in bottles - Perhaps you'll find your right message someday soon ~S~

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