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Passions in Poetry

Of Dreams And Things, Of Angel Wings (Inspired by Satiate)

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Cassanova
Junior Member
since 04-12-2000
Posts 39
Turlock, Ca.


0 posted 04-25-2000 12:08 PM       View Profile for Cassanova   Email Cassanova   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cassanova

Of Dreams And Things, Of Angel Wings

You have paralyzed my dreams,
Yet still you speak of love and things.
As to my broken heart you bring:
The promise of an empty ring
On a finger made of glassy steam.
Your love a traitorous requiem,
Where every lie’s a gut-shot sting.
No more the false-fed faith you sing.
And as I face the pain you fling,
I see you’re clothed, in unearned wings.


© Copyright 2000 Jason Monarch - All Rights Reserved
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


1 posted 04-25-2000 12:27 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Pretty searing thoughts you've got there, my new-found friend.  I know how hard you worked on this poem, and am glad to see you posting it!!      Keep it up, guy!



[This message has been edited by Satiate (edited 04-25-2000).]
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 09-03-99
Posts 5497
Forever In Your Heart


2 posted 04-25-2000 02:02 PM       View Profile for A Romantic Heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Romantic Heart

liked it much!!!
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


3 posted 04-25-2000 02:18 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

I loved the title, then the whole piece was excellent.
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


4 posted 04-25-2000 02:19 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

Ouch......sounds like love has taken leave...
nice writing
Irie
Senior Member
since 12-01-1999
Posts 1526
Washington State


5 posted 04-25-2000 02:26 PM       View Profile for Irie   Email Irie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Irie

Ouch is right.
"I see your clothed, in unearned wings"
Yikes, sounds like some one I know all too well.
Painfully touching Jason

~Sheri
Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


6 posted 04-25-2000 07:35 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry


Jason* Although expressing much pain in this piece this is superbly written!! You went to quite a bit of work making all this work and you hit your mark!!


 Hold me for yesterday
Kiss me for tomorrow
But love me for today.

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 04-08-2000
Posts 2424
State of constant confusion!


7 posted 04-25-2000 07:51 PM       View Profile for Jeffrey Carter   Email Jeffrey Carter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jeffrey Carter

Now that's what I call making a point.
Thought stirring words here.

All my love,
Jeffrey
mariee66
Senior Member
since 01-30-2000
Posts 621
Recess, OfYourMind


8 posted 04-25-2000 09:35 PM       View Profile for mariee66   Email mariee66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mariee66

This is great writing~
First one of yours I've read, I think~
Nicely done~
Marie~
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


9 posted 04-25-2000 11:15 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Your love a traitorous requiem ...

That line caught me! The entire poem was well done -- the rhythm consistent, the rhyme intact -- but that phrase was brilliant.  I will indeed be eagerly looking for more from you ...  

--Kess


 Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...


--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


10 posted 04-26-2000 02:30 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Don't know 'nuthin' 'bout the rhymin' stuff, but I knows I likes this much! Liek the idea, like the format, like the phrasing and like everything else between!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


11 posted 05-13-2004 04:09 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

very nicely done
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