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Open Poetry #7
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-04-23 04:40 PM


I asked her to meet me at the county fair.
I got there in plenty of time.
I smiled to myself for my courage
In asking out this new friend of mine.

I sat in my car and waited for her,
Put in a tape so I would stay.
I wondered if she was out there lost.
I'd have to think of something funny to say.

After an hour and fourteen songs,
Rolled my window all the way down.
Calliope kids grabbing for rings.
I knew my dreams were bogging me down.

Water streaming; air rifles pop.
People eating sticky fried dough.
I told myself I was wasting my time.
I could either go inside or just go.

Another car entered the lot.
Again she wasn't inside.
I didn't want to go in without her.
I blinked my eyes -- I guess she had lied.

Are you coming to the county fair?
Feel alone in a full parking lot.
Dark sky spreads like a stubborn stain.
Learned what love is, what love is not.


© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
hsystems
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319
Murray, UT, USA
1 posted 2000-04-23 04:45 PM


bsquirrel - what a beautiful way to express such sad emotions!  IMHO, it was her loss that she chose not to show up...


Troy

 Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry
http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2000-04-23 04:49 PM


Bsquirrel,
Well done, enjoyed the read.

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
3 posted 2000-04-23 04:53 PM


Yeah, definitely her loss!! Maybe next time you will find the right girl for you...to be that impolite she must be the wrong one!!

Love and hugs,
Lizzie



 "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-04-23 04:54 PM


B~
Don't those waits just get you down?

Loved this line -
'After an hour and fourteen songs'

Better luck next time the fair's in town.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2000-04-23 04:58 PM


Thanks for all the replies guys (and gals). Actually, this never happened. I just wanted to take the aching melody of Scarborough Fair and add my own words to it. Obviously I'm writing well if it seems so real. Thanks.

Mike

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-04-23 07:43 PM


After an hour and fourteen songs,
Rolled my window all the way down.
Calliope kids grabbing for rings.
I knew my dreams were bogging me down.

Water streaming; air rifles pop.
People eating sticky fried dough.
I told myself I was wasting my time.
I could either go inside or just go.

-----------------
Are you coming to the county fair?
Feel alone in a full parking lot.
Dark sky spreads like a stubborn stain.
Learned what love is, what love is not.
----------------
YES...YOU COULD SAY THAT you are writing well...obviously well...as always...

I read this poem and I felt like I was sitting in the car with ya...feeling the disappointment...
I can taste the cotton candy...(smile)
butterflies just love cotton candy
perfect BSQ, once again.
jm/bs

 Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders
And it makes me want to touch you there.
And the light in your eyes makes me feel
Like there's something much better out there
Something kind...
And I know someday I might be looking around
Trying to find some purpose
Well purpose it can't be that hard to find
As long as I've got the wind...
The wind and your love to carry me.
vertical horizon



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